(no subject)

[free_at_last11]

ok well i thought the day was goin g0o0d ! but uh its hurts so0 bad u cant change n i dont undrestand it your nowhere or near the person u use to b it tears me apart inside everyday to know that youll never change yet you say you have changing doesnt consist of lyin to me still or making up excuses or nething like that its telling the truth being truthfulll just letting me know its foreal n i dont feel like ur goin to do that anymore ! ur not the preson you were 5 months ago the las 5-6 months almost you have been s0o0o ahhh crazy n i mean uv changed for the worst n its not the best feelin on my side we use to have s0o0 much fun together with our friends *TOGETHER* now i look back n go where are all those moments where have all those friends g0o0 its like not only have u lost them but sence uv lost them ihave tooo it kills me its like i jus get my heart ripped out n just stomped on i feel like everyone is laughin at me bc i give u chance after chance yah i dont listen to them i know but still n i know you kno how that feels *supposively* im not sayin iv been perfect hell i know i havent its jus s0o0o ahhh makes no sence youve changed s0o0o much its like u dont care either all your worried ab is me not havin any 1 else me being allll too you that your s0o0 wrapped up in that you wont change you dont have time too u have time to bitch at me bc im talking to sum 1 bc i have afriend i dont liek everyone clearly i already went thru that stage yes everyone does we all know that i mean uhhh i cant even explain it i wish n wish n wish every day that goes by that u will change n i wait n wait n wait till that day is and its like i get heart broken evrey day i wait bc its like sumfin else comes up to tell me to wait longe i dont kno wat to do sum days i wana give up n the daays i tel you that its like you go back to who u are but it dont las that long intill ur comfortable with yourself others i jus wana wait forever im s0o stuck in the middle with myself i maean 11 months of YOU i mean sum days have been amazing others have just been shitty i miss the old us 5 months ago everyone thought we wer s0oo0 perfect no one wanted to not hang out with us bc we bitched all the time we nevre bitched everyone use to jus b like omg thur they go again they cant get offfeach other now its thur they go agaion bitching ! i dont even kno wat to do uhhhhh it kills me tears me apart everytime we do this i want a break n u like try n rush me i mean we need work help sumfin with our relationshop obviously bc its not goin great for us sumdays better than others sum days amazing ! but i wish everyday was amazing..and its not anymore sum days we go half a day ok than we bitch sum days we wake up bitching i dont understand us i dont kno why we fight like this now i want everything back everythin n i dont kno if mi ever goin to get it bc i dtn think people can jus change back out of nowhere ! uh i jus wana scream just wana go to my own lil place n sit down n think bout everythin us you why your like you are now but i think i wuld sit thur forever bc even you dont kno why your like that anymore ! we cant talk thru things we cant even joke anymore its like nuttin i say is right i lie about eveythin sum how or another when all i do is tell the truth ! i dont undddddderstand thats alll n im sure all you didnt wana hear this but i had no where else to write it blah

:(

* just shut my do00or lock it n never let me out*

bLAh