Brief Reflections on My Chemical Romance
On September 16, I was lucky enough to go see My Chemical Romance on the HCT with the wonderful fobsessed54. It was an insanely emotional time for me and I’ll probably right another post describing the experience but it made me think about the first time I heard of MCR and why I so quickly connected with them.
The first time I heard My Chemical Romance, I was sitting in my living room, watching MTV. I was eleven or twelve at the time and I’m Not Okay (I Promise) came on the t.v. I remember just sitting there watching in awe as this (kind of intimidating) man screamed and shouted at the world. I was (and am) a very happy person, my life then and now is fucking fantastic. But, among many other things, I was one of the only non-white kids in my school, and ever since September 11th happened, I felt like I didn’t fully belong. I never knew how to vocalize what I was feeling and then suddenly there is this terrifying, passionate, amazing person on my television screen saying exactly what I always wanted to. It was like it’s fucking alright to not be okay and to be a little fucked up cause right in front of me was a group of people that got it. It felt like it’d be alright because we could be not okay together. We could shout and scream and cry and rage together; in that moment I felt so connected to them.
That connection, of course, has only grown stronger as I’ve listened to more of them, but that moment of joy and awe and unity I had with them when seeing them on my t.v. for the first time is still special. I can’t say the band has saved my life or anything like that because luckily I’ve never gotten to that point, but they have done so much for me. They’ve helped shape me into the person I am now, I’ve grown up with them and I want to grow old with them, they’ve been there for all my joys and sorrows. They were there the first day I entered middle school in a brand new state to when I opened my first ever acceptance letter from a college to the day I moved into my dorm. They’ve been there when I wanted to tear apart the world and when I wanted to give fix all the problems in this fucked up place. They were there when my nephew was born and when my nephew got sick. They’ve been with me for most of my life and for that I can never repay them.
The first time I heard My Chemical Romance, I was sitting in my living room, watching MTV. I was eleven or twelve at the time and I’m Not Okay (I Promise) came on the t.v. I remember just sitting there watching in awe as this (kind of intimidating) man screamed and shouted at the world. I was (and am) a very happy person, my life then and now is fucking fantastic. But, among many other things, I was one of the only non-white kids in my school, and ever since September 11th happened, I felt like I didn’t fully belong. I never knew how to vocalize what I was feeling and then suddenly there is this terrifying, passionate, amazing person on my television screen saying exactly what I always wanted to. It was like it’s fucking alright to not be okay and to be a little fucked up cause right in front of me was a group of people that got it. It felt like it’d be alright because we could be not okay together. We could shout and scream and cry and rage together; in that moment I felt so connected to them.
That connection, of course, has only grown stronger as I’ve listened to more of them, but that moment of joy and awe and unity I had with them when seeing them on my t.v. for the first time is still special. I can’t say the band has saved my life or anything like that because luckily I’ve never gotten to that point, but they have done so much for me. They’ve helped shape me into the person I am now, I’ve grown up with them and I want to grow old with them, they’ve been there for all my joys and sorrows. They were there the first day I entered middle school in a brand new state to when I opened my first ever acceptance letter from a college to the day I moved into my dorm. They’ve been there when I wanted to tear apart the world and when I wanted to give fix all the problems in this fucked up place. They were there when my nephew was born and when my nephew got sick. They’ve been with me for most of my life and for that I can never repay them.