The Wall, yet again
My last entry was pretty close. I think I got it basically right with a couple of exceptions.
The "wall" is "me", it's mine, and it is a reflection, but it is not an honest reflection. The writing on that wall is mine but it is cover up writing or spin, which I haven't recognized for years.
I unknowingly used the wall to deflect people away from the real me.
I was embarrassed and afraid of what people would see, so I altered the picture. I created a picture that hasn't gone away easily. Mainly because it lives in the shadows and was constructed years ago. I had forgotten what I even put on that wall. So this was confusing to me and to others. It wasn't fully real and could be felt as such.
There was a plate of glass between me and them and the glass contained phony pictures and false writings while the honest vibes persisted, which presents contrary information that is confusing. There was a feel of something is not quite right.
I wasn't creating a total lie. I was spinning; looking to make the best of things but to an extreme degree.
The fact is, I hadn't let my true inner desires go to be what they are. I let various desires go, but not the main ones. The real me ones.
I've written about my desires many times here, but always with a bit of covering over them. So here goes...
I am captivated by great posture, let go-ism (if there is such a word), authentic free flowing inner natures (a lousy way to describe this but I don't know how else to say it), gluttony and overeating, laughter, weight gain (at times), too tight clothes and public displays of all of the above.
Why was that so hard to get out of me? I don't know.
I now accept these parts and love them, and look forward to becoming more comfortable with them publicly. Amen. :)
The "wall" is "me", it's mine, and it is a reflection, but it is not an honest reflection. The writing on that wall is mine but it is cover up writing or spin, which I haven't recognized for years.
I unknowingly used the wall to deflect people away from the real me.
I was embarrassed and afraid of what people would see, so I altered the picture. I created a picture that hasn't gone away easily. Mainly because it lives in the shadows and was constructed years ago. I had forgotten what I even put on that wall. So this was confusing to me and to others. It wasn't fully real and could be felt as such.
There was a plate of glass between me and them and the glass contained phony pictures and false writings while the honest vibes persisted, which presents contrary information that is confusing. There was a feel of something is not quite right.
I wasn't creating a total lie. I was spinning; looking to make the best of things but to an extreme degree.
The fact is, I hadn't let my true inner desires go to be what they are. I let various desires go, but not the main ones. The real me ones.
I've written about my desires many times here, but always with a bit of covering over them. So here goes...
I am captivated by great posture, let go-ism (if there is such a word), authentic free flowing inner natures (a lousy way to describe this but I don't know how else to say it), gluttony and overeating, laughter, weight gain (at times), too tight clothes and public displays of all of the above.
Why was that so hard to get out of me? I don't know.
I now accept these parts and love them, and look forward to becoming more comfortable with them publicly. Amen. :)