sap
Title: ?
Author: fredsmith518
Beta: no
Rating: tame
Disclaimer: Nothing owned, no monetary profit made.
Summary: So, this ficlet wouldn’t leave me alone this week…appropriate to the day, I think. Which is ironic as I didn’t actually realise it was Fathers’ Day…must be the advertising.
This is sappy, especially the end. Be warned.
.
Sandy opened the door to find Ryan standing there holding Sophie and Sophie clutching a ribbon attached to a large dolphin shaped balloon. Ryan had a hand discreetly placed on the ribbon too. Smart plan, though Sandy. And that explained why Ryan hadn’t been able to use his key. They were back rather earlier than Sandy had expected. His ruminations were quickly over as Sophie exclaimed, “Daddy!” and held out her arms towards him. Sandy grinned. Her face and fingers were sticky with, ice cream maybe? Obviously, Ryan had made an effort to clean her up but hadn’t been wholly successful. Sandy could relate.
“I think I’ll let Ryan carry up to the bathroom, princess. There’s no need for daddy to get messed up too.”
“’k. Wyan cawy,” she agreed.
“Um, actually, Sandy. I need a word with you then I need to go.”
He lowered Sophie and the balloon carefully to the floor. Sandy smiled at the smears decorating Ryan’s clothing. Oh, yeah, sticky fingers.
“Go find Mommy, honey,” Sandy instructed.
“Mommee!”
There was no likelihood of Kirsten missing that cry, as Sophie hurtled into the house as fast as two year old legs could go. Sandy turned his attention to focus fully on Ryan. He still hadn’t come into the house, which was odd to say the least. Now that he looked closely, Ryan looked…off. He face was pale beneath the tan. He wasn’t smiling.
“So, what’s up?” Sandy asked, concerned, wasting no more time on idle speculation.
Ryan swallowed, then said quickly, “I lost her. I lost Sophie, at the park.”
He sounded distraught. Beneath Sandy’s gaze, he moved uneasily from one foot to the other.
“Well, you obviously found her again.” Sandy homed in on the most important fact as he saw it. He was well aware, from personal experience, how awful Ryan would be feeling. That sick feeling in the pit of one’s stomach when a child is lost, if only for a few moments, is never forgotten. But Sophie was here, all in one piece and obviously unfazed by what had happened. Sandy had seen streaks of ice cream decorating her cheeks, sure, but no sign of any tears to indicate a distressing experience.
“Yeah, but I lost her!”
Ryan’s words sounded forceful, but he looked lost himself. Anxious to calm him down, Sandy put a hand out to Ryan’s shoulder. The kid was literally shaking. Sandy took charge.
“Come on in. We’ll go sit down, drink some water, chill.”
Ryan looked uncertain.
“I thought I’d go back to the dorm.”
“The last thing you need is to be on your own now. And anyways, that wasn’t the plan. Kirsten’s been cooking half the day. She expects you here for supper,” Sandy cajoled.
“She won’t after I tell her I lost Sophie.”
Sandy counted to ten mentally, did not frown. Instead, he steered Ryan through the house to the kitchen, snagged a couple of bottles of water on route, got them both outside again and settled on the glider. He put a bottle into Ryan’s hand. Then said,
“You obviously need to get this off your chest. So spill, what happened.”
“I lost Sophie.”
“And found her. That’s established. It’s the connective details, I’m hazy on.”
Ryan focused his gaze out across the garden. Sandy sighed inwardly. It had been ages since Ryan had done that.
“We were at the park. She’d been on the swingset, and the baby jungle gym. There was a guy selling balloons and she wanted one. I needed both my hands free for a minute to pay and get the balloon for her. She was holding onto my pants’ leg. I swear to God, she was, Sandy.”
Ryan looked directly at him.
“Hey, I believe you.” There was a lot more Sandy wanted to say, but he bit his tongue, knowing that Ryan wasn’t finished.
“I turned around and she wasn’t there. I couldn’t see her!”
He balled his hands into fists, the drink discarded on the porch. Sandy could hear the remembered panic in Ryan’s voice all too clearly. Sandy put a hand on Ryan’s back and felt the tension, and increased the pressure of his palm, willing Ryan to relax.
“So, I shouted her name and I ran and I asked everyone if they’d seen her and she was over by the pond looking at the ducks,” he finished. Ryan looked exhausted by the retelling.
“How long do you think you lost her for?” Sandy asked mildly.
“Sorry?”
Ryan looked up at him befuddled.
“I said, how long do you think you lost her for?” he repeated patiently.
“I don’t know. That’s not important.”
“I think it is. Think,” Sandy insisted.
“It felt like forever,” Ryan said quietly.
“But?”
“Maybe two minutes.”
Ryan sank back. Sandy moved his hand to a more comfortable spot up onto Ryan’s shoulder. “I lost Seth once,” he said companionably. “Well, understatement. I lost Seth several times, but only once when he was really little. Funny thing, he wandered off when I was buying him an ice-cream. Must be genetic.” He smiled.
“It’s not funny.”
“No, I agree, it’s not.” Sandy sobered. “It’s as scary as hell and feels like it lasts forever. My point is, it happens to everyone, at least once. It’s like a wake up call.”
“I never thought I’d lose her.”
Sandy could read so much into that short statement. I trusted myself with her - you’ll never trust me with her again - I’m a disappointment - again - I should go.
Since they’d moved to Berkeley, Ryan’s insecurities had largely disappeared, on the surface, that was. This incident left Sandy in no doubt that they still lurked. Okay, time to pull no punches.
“Kids do that, wander off. Didn’t you ever get lost when you were a kid?”
“Yeah, sometimes, but that wasn’t the same.” Ryan’s tone was dull and lifeless.
Because no one was looking out for you supplied Sandy. But he didn’t press the point as he had another angle, which, to his mind, was the more relevant, and certainly what Ryan needed to hear.
“I never thought I’d lose you, but we nearly did the summer after Marissa died.”
“That’s not the same either.”
“No, granted, it’s not exactly the same. But, in all the ways that count to a parent, it kinda is."
Sandy let that sink in for a few minutes, before he asked, “Did you tell her she did wrong?”
“Yeah, I mean it was my fault but I told her she mustn’t wander off.”
“Good kid,” said Sandy.
Ryan turned to look at him incredulously. “What?” he asked.
“You did the right thing. I’m proud of you for remembering to tell her ‘no wandering off’, when you were so shook up yourself. She needs to learn. Drink your water,” Sandy told him.
A few minutes later, Kirsten came out with Sophie balanced on her hip, all cleaned up.
“Are you guys ready to eat?” she asked.
“I lost Sophie,” said Ryan, “at the park.”
Sandy practised some more mental arithmetic. He should have seen that one coming a mile off and headed Ryan off at the pass.
“Well, you obviously found her,” Kirsten said, smiling gently. “I overheard, Ryan,” she added softly. “The bathroom window was open. So, food?”
“Yeah, let’s eat. C’mon, kids, your old man is hungry.”
During the course of the meal, Ryan gradually relaxed. Sophie’s head was nodding by the end of the desert course.
“It’s all that fresh air and exercise,” Kirsten commented. “D’you want to put her to bed, Ryan? She might be a bit cranky.”
“Stowe, Wyan,” Sophie said expectantly, perking up a little, as he lifted her up.
“Only one, Ryan. Don’t let her twist you around her little finger. Oh, and I aired your bed, so you can stay over tonight,” Kirsten added.
Sandy fought hard to conceal the smile that threatened to appear as a result of his wife’s perceptive arrangements.
“I was going to go back to the dorm.”
“Yeah, but you don’t have to, do you sweetheart?”
“No, I guess not, thanks Kirsten. Say g’night to Mommy and Daddy, Soph.”
Ryan held onto to her as Sandy, then Kirsten hugged and kissed Sophie goodnight.
“An' Wyan.”
The adults smiled. Sophie seemed to think that Ryan and, or Seth, when they were home, shared a bedtime with her. Kirsten pulled Ryan into a half hug and kissed his cheek and whispered something that Sandy didn’t catch in his ear.
“And Ryan,” agreed Sandy. “Goodnight, son.”
He, in turn, pulled Ryan into a hug and brushed a quick kiss on Sophie’s forehead, making her giggle and then repeated the gesture with Ryan.
“G’night, Dad,” Ryan said softly, looking Sandy directly in the eyes.
Author: fredsmith518
Beta: no
Rating: tame
Disclaimer: Nothing owned, no monetary profit made.
Summary: So, this ficlet wouldn’t leave me alone this week…appropriate to the day, I think. Which is ironic as I didn’t actually realise it was Fathers’ Day…must be the advertising.
This is sappy, especially the end. Be warned.
.
Sandy opened the door to find Ryan standing there holding Sophie and Sophie clutching a ribbon attached to a large dolphin shaped balloon. Ryan had a hand discreetly placed on the ribbon too. Smart plan, though Sandy. And that explained why Ryan hadn’t been able to use his key. They were back rather earlier than Sandy had expected. His ruminations were quickly over as Sophie exclaimed, “Daddy!” and held out her arms towards him. Sandy grinned. Her face and fingers were sticky with, ice cream maybe? Obviously, Ryan had made an effort to clean her up but hadn’t been wholly successful. Sandy could relate.
“I think I’ll let Ryan carry up to the bathroom, princess. There’s no need for daddy to get messed up too.”
“’k. Wyan cawy,” she agreed.
“Um, actually, Sandy. I need a word with you then I need to go.”
He lowered Sophie and the balloon carefully to the floor. Sandy smiled at the smears decorating Ryan’s clothing. Oh, yeah, sticky fingers.
“Go find Mommy, honey,” Sandy instructed.
“Mommee!”
There was no likelihood of Kirsten missing that cry, as Sophie hurtled into the house as fast as two year old legs could go. Sandy turned his attention to focus fully on Ryan. He still hadn’t come into the house, which was odd to say the least. Now that he looked closely, Ryan looked…off. He face was pale beneath the tan. He wasn’t smiling.
“So, what’s up?” Sandy asked, concerned, wasting no more time on idle speculation.
Ryan swallowed, then said quickly, “I lost her. I lost Sophie, at the park.”
He sounded distraught. Beneath Sandy’s gaze, he moved uneasily from one foot to the other.
“Well, you obviously found her again.” Sandy homed in on the most important fact as he saw it. He was well aware, from personal experience, how awful Ryan would be feeling. That sick feeling in the pit of one’s stomach when a child is lost, if only for a few moments, is never forgotten. But Sophie was here, all in one piece and obviously unfazed by what had happened. Sandy had seen streaks of ice cream decorating her cheeks, sure, but no sign of any tears to indicate a distressing experience.
“Yeah, but I lost her!”
Ryan’s words sounded forceful, but he looked lost himself. Anxious to calm him down, Sandy put a hand out to Ryan’s shoulder. The kid was literally shaking. Sandy took charge.
“Come on in. We’ll go sit down, drink some water, chill.”
Ryan looked uncertain.
“I thought I’d go back to the dorm.”
“The last thing you need is to be on your own now. And anyways, that wasn’t the plan. Kirsten’s been cooking half the day. She expects you here for supper,” Sandy cajoled.
“She won’t after I tell her I lost Sophie.”
Sandy counted to ten mentally, did not frown. Instead, he steered Ryan through the house to the kitchen, snagged a couple of bottles of water on route, got them both outside again and settled on the glider. He put a bottle into Ryan’s hand. Then said,
“You obviously need to get this off your chest. So spill, what happened.”
“I lost Sophie.”
“And found her. That’s established. It’s the connective details, I’m hazy on.”
Ryan focused his gaze out across the garden. Sandy sighed inwardly. It had been ages since Ryan had done that.
“We were at the park. She’d been on the swingset, and the baby jungle gym. There was a guy selling balloons and she wanted one. I needed both my hands free for a minute to pay and get the balloon for her. She was holding onto my pants’ leg. I swear to God, she was, Sandy.”
Ryan looked directly at him.
“Hey, I believe you.” There was a lot more Sandy wanted to say, but he bit his tongue, knowing that Ryan wasn’t finished.
“I turned around and she wasn’t there. I couldn’t see her!”
He balled his hands into fists, the drink discarded on the porch. Sandy could hear the remembered panic in Ryan’s voice all too clearly. Sandy put a hand on Ryan’s back and felt the tension, and increased the pressure of his palm, willing Ryan to relax.
“So, I shouted her name and I ran and I asked everyone if they’d seen her and she was over by the pond looking at the ducks,” he finished. Ryan looked exhausted by the retelling.
“How long do you think you lost her for?” Sandy asked mildly.
“Sorry?”
Ryan looked up at him befuddled.
“I said, how long do you think you lost her for?” he repeated patiently.
“I don’t know. That’s not important.”
“I think it is. Think,” Sandy insisted.
“It felt like forever,” Ryan said quietly.
“But?”
“Maybe two minutes.”
Ryan sank back. Sandy moved his hand to a more comfortable spot up onto Ryan’s shoulder. “I lost Seth once,” he said companionably. “Well, understatement. I lost Seth several times, but only once when he was really little. Funny thing, he wandered off when I was buying him an ice-cream. Must be genetic.” He smiled.
“It’s not funny.”
“No, I agree, it’s not.” Sandy sobered. “It’s as scary as hell and feels like it lasts forever. My point is, it happens to everyone, at least once. It’s like a wake up call.”
“I never thought I’d lose her.”
Sandy could read so much into that short statement. I trusted myself with her - you’ll never trust me with her again - I’m a disappointment - again - I should go.
Since they’d moved to Berkeley, Ryan’s insecurities had largely disappeared, on the surface, that was. This incident left Sandy in no doubt that they still lurked. Okay, time to pull no punches.
“Kids do that, wander off. Didn’t you ever get lost when you were a kid?”
“Yeah, sometimes, but that wasn’t the same.” Ryan’s tone was dull and lifeless.
Because no one was looking out for you supplied Sandy. But he didn’t press the point as he had another angle, which, to his mind, was the more relevant, and certainly what Ryan needed to hear.
“I never thought I’d lose you, but we nearly did the summer after Marissa died.”
“That’s not the same either.”
“No, granted, it’s not exactly the same. But, in all the ways that count to a parent, it kinda is."
Sandy let that sink in for a few minutes, before he asked, “Did you tell her she did wrong?”
“Yeah, I mean it was my fault but I told her she mustn’t wander off.”
“Good kid,” said Sandy.
Ryan turned to look at him incredulously. “What?” he asked.
“You did the right thing. I’m proud of you for remembering to tell her ‘no wandering off’, when you were so shook up yourself. She needs to learn. Drink your water,” Sandy told him.
A few minutes later, Kirsten came out with Sophie balanced on her hip, all cleaned up.
“Are you guys ready to eat?” she asked.
“I lost Sophie,” said Ryan, “at the park.”
Sandy practised some more mental arithmetic. He should have seen that one coming a mile off and headed Ryan off at the pass.
“Well, you obviously found her,” Kirsten said, smiling gently. “I overheard, Ryan,” she added softly. “The bathroom window was open. So, food?”
“Yeah, let’s eat. C’mon, kids, your old man is hungry.”
During the course of the meal, Ryan gradually relaxed. Sophie’s head was nodding by the end of the desert course.
“It’s all that fresh air and exercise,” Kirsten commented. “D’you want to put her to bed, Ryan? She might be a bit cranky.”
“Stowe, Wyan,” Sophie said expectantly, perking up a little, as he lifted her up.
“Only one, Ryan. Don’t let her twist you around her little finger. Oh, and I aired your bed, so you can stay over tonight,” Kirsten added.
Sandy fought hard to conceal the smile that threatened to appear as a result of his wife’s perceptive arrangements.
“I was going to go back to the dorm.”
“Yeah, but you don’t have to, do you sweetheart?”
“No, I guess not, thanks Kirsten. Say g’night to Mommy and Daddy, Soph.”
Ryan held onto to her as Sandy, then Kirsten hugged and kissed Sophie goodnight.
“An' Wyan.”
The adults smiled. Sophie seemed to think that Ryan and, or Seth, when they were home, shared a bedtime with her. Kirsten pulled Ryan into a half hug and kissed his cheek and whispered something that Sandy didn’t catch in his ear.
“And Ryan,” agreed Sandy. “Goodnight, son.”
He, in turn, pulled Ryan into a hug and brushed a quick kiss on Sophie’s forehead, making her giggle and then repeated the gesture with Ryan.
“G’night, Dad,” Ryan said softly, looking Sandy directly in the eyes.