Jul 10, 2003 02:56
This has been a pretty weird week. Not for me but for everyone else. In a sidenote that most of you will not bother to remember I fixed my guitar tonight and it should be good tommorow. Tommy Im sure this will make you happy now that it is done. You are a cranky bastard. I didn't understand what you meant by being grumpy untill last night when you told me I wasn't devoted. I know you were kidding but man the way you said it made me angry. hulk smash. I told you last night how I felt about it which was good. You are turning Dr. Moreau on me man, pretty soon you are going to have your own island where no one is allowed and you make genetic experiments like cat people and shit. I honestly can't explain the way you feel man, but I hope you get it all sorted out. You gotta realize you have a few more years before you can sit and fester in everything from the past. Untill we are dead we are still making memories. I like the stuff that I have done but theres always more things that are going to happen. I've gone through stages of isolation and semi mental anguish too, so Im not going to sit here and tell you to "stop it". The biggest bummer was today when I was going to go home and write on this piece I started in May and write untill I had to go help my brother move some stuff in the house at 11:00. I get a good start and Im kicking off the cobwebs when guess who calls, Megan. So as I type I get three minutes of silence, then as I predicted, problems. Then she won't tell me what they are. So I have to stop and play the listener and try and coax them out for 3 more."I dont know" "Whats bothering you?" "I dont know" "What do you think is bothering you?" "I dont know" can you make a guess what it is, like what is making you feel bad to say these things?" "I don't know" Then I get accused of being distracted because I get quiet and start typing again. Yes, I am distracted. You are distracting me from writing fiction. Megan has problems.Not relationship problems. And when Im trying to do something creative when she's not around(which is like 2 hours a month), these problems come up. Needy. Worst fucking time to bring it up. It's a problem for me too. To me it just get magnified when it happens when I'm writing. "Don't pet the doggy when he's eating" our parents said to us. Now I know why. Let the doggy write. There is a dire need for me to bring this up to her, and I will do that. Tune in next week for Abe tells Livejournal that everyone else is the problem and not him.