...and grim is not the word.
Do you know what's worse than being stabbed in the back by your best friend? Your friend not using Ginsu© brand blades. Nothing cuts through your back better than Ginsu© blades. Their cutting edge design helps tear those sometimes tough muscles away from the bone, allowing the Ginsu© blade to easily form a near mortal wound. Do you want to be stuck in a hospital emergency room any longer than you have to? Well if you've been stabbed in the back by a Ginsu© blade, removal will be within minutes. It's patented toothed blade was removed quicker nine times out of ten in test back stabbing incidents. (note that knife blade does not prevent hospital under staffment, insurance hold-ups, and first time patient paperwork.) Order Ginsu© today! Operators are standing by.
Anybody can write infomercials. It takes a real classy guy to make them appealing to the public. Right now I'm supposed to be studying for an American Government test. Wow. Is that happening. Yeah my girlfriend Megan moved yesterday to another town. I was like "yea that kinda sucks, but at least it wasnt another state." I don't talk about her much in here because there's really not a lot to say. I like her, she likes me, and we get along well. We are into that whole S&M counter culture, so when shes over in my "bohemeth of pain" she is either a) the little asian slave girl that was given to me by her parents as a tribute to my Godliness, or b) she is 'XX' my malavolent dominatrix who visits me from the underworld. We really enjoy the aspects roleplaying has given to our intimacy. Sometimes I'll stop making out with her so I can get into a sword fight with the Orcs that live in the portal beneath my stairs. That always spices everything up.
Man thats going in the next Real Sex I swear! Somebody out there reading that's like, "Man, thats too good to be made up." If anyone doubts me I simply say,
"you won't believe how accomplished you can feel after love makin' when there is a pile of dead orcs and goblins outside your chamber door. Damn portals always being opened."
And on a more solid note-
Just found your wife in bed with the 22 year old plumber? Nothing cuts that uncomfratable silence more than a patented Ginsu© blade.
Anybody can write infomercials. It takes a real classy guy to make them appealing to the public. Right now I'm supposed to be studying for an American Government test. Wow. Is that happening. Yeah my girlfriend Megan moved yesterday to another town. I was like "yea that kinda sucks, but at least it wasnt another state." I don't talk about her much in here because there's really not a lot to say. I like her, she likes me, and we get along well. We are into that whole S&M counter culture, so when shes over in my "bohemeth of pain" she is either a) the little asian slave girl that was given to me by her parents as a tribute to my Godliness, or b) she is 'XX' my malavolent dominatrix who visits me from the underworld. We really enjoy the aspects roleplaying has given to our intimacy. Sometimes I'll stop making out with her so I can get into a sword fight with the Orcs that live in the portal beneath my stairs. That always spices everything up.
Man thats going in the next Real Sex I swear! Somebody out there reading that's like, "Man, thats too good to be made up." If anyone doubts me I simply say,
"you won't believe how accomplished you can feel after love makin' when there is a pile of dead orcs and goblins outside your chamber door. Damn portals always being opened."
And on a more solid note-
Just found your wife in bed with the 22 year old plumber? Nothing cuts that uncomfratable silence more than a patented Ginsu© blade.