Yes and No
Universe: DC Comics standard, between Infinite Crisis and Batman R.I.P.
Genre: Case
Rating: Teen
Characters: Tim Drake (Robin), Bruce Wayne (Batman), Joker, Alfred Pennyworth, Jason Todd
Word Count: ~500
Notes: Drafted for the prompt “Yes or No” for the batfic_contest group.
Disclaimer: Robin and his sidekick Batman are owned by DC Comics under copyright and trademark laws. This pastiche is offered freely as entertainment for fans.
Summary: The Joker! Jason Todd! Phone in to vote for life or death.
Yes and No
Whoa. I stare at the TV screen for ten seconds before I can say, “Bruce? You’d better look at this.”
“I don’t need to see another ‘awesome interception,’ Tim,” says Bruce, not glancing up from his soldering.
I was watching the Knights game in the cave. But right in the middle of a first-down measurement the picture switched to a dim room and a man in the chair.
“It’s the Joker.”
“What?” Bruce is behind me, iron still smoking. “Put it on the big screen.”
I push two buttons, and the Joker’s larger than life. And half dead-he put up a fight before getting tied to that chair. Words fade in over the scene:
KILL THE JOKER?
To Vote YES, Call 352-455-DEAD
To Vote NO, Call 352-455-LIVE
Alfred’s voice comes over the intercom: “Master Jason is calling.”
“Of course,” Bruce growls. “Patch him through.”
I start working my keyboard. Bruce slips his cowl over his eyes. “Jason.”
“Hey, Bruce, I’ll make it quick because I know you’ve got the kid tracing this call. Since we can’t agree on how to handle the clown, I decided to open the question up to everyone in Gotham.”
Numbers show up on the screen: “876” next to YES, “684” beside NO. And at the top:
“Just 19 Minutes Left to Vote! (Sorry-only one call per phone number.)”
“By now you’ve spotted the explosives under the chair,” Jason continues. “From his own stash. If the city chooses, that room goes boom in a little more than eighteen minutes.”
“This isn’t how we do things,” says Bruce, poking at another keyboard.
“You can keep on doing nothing. The fine folks of Gotham-they might disagree.”
YES: 1,629. NO: 1,565.
“Life’s not looking good for the clown. Half our dear neighbors are pissed off about everything he’s done. And the other half’s pissed off about missing the game.”
I’ve tracked the call through three international exchanges-then I dead-end in Kahndaq. I turn to Bruce for orders, but he’s scanning a three-page printout of the Joker’s past hangouts.
YES: 2,553. NO: 2,409.
Bruce sprints to Batmobile number 7, engine already revving. So who’ll keep up the conversation? I try lowering my voice: “You don’t have to do-”
“Kid, I know he’s gone.”
Has Jason bugged the cave? No, he just knows Bruce. I tell him, “He’ll get there in time.”
Jason lets out an exaggerated sigh. “Of course-I gave him sixteen more minutes. Keep up, Baby Wonder.”
YES: 3,481. NO: 3,327.
“Then why, Jason?”
Silence. Gone. But now I know why. Jason expects Gotham to vote for the Joker to die, only to see the Batman show up and save him. He wants the whole city to feel like he does.
But if he totally wanted to kill the Joker, he’d have done it himself.
Jason’s mixed feelings give me an idea. The votes are close. I open another window and start typing. I take over the phone lines at Wayne Tech, Gotham Mutual, Starling Telemarketers…
Fifteen minutes later, YES: 32,664. NO: 37,871. And the game’s over.
Genre: Case
Rating: Teen
Characters: Tim Drake (Robin), Bruce Wayne (Batman), Joker, Alfred Pennyworth, Jason Todd
Word Count: ~500
Notes: Drafted for the prompt “Yes or No” for the batfic_contest group.
Disclaimer: Robin and his sidekick Batman are owned by DC Comics under copyright and trademark laws. This pastiche is offered freely as entertainment for fans.
Summary: The Joker! Jason Todd! Phone in to vote for life or death.
Yes and No
Whoa. I stare at the TV screen for ten seconds before I can say, “Bruce? You’d better look at this.”
“I don’t need to see another ‘awesome interception,’ Tim,” says Bruce, not glancing up from his soldering.
I was watching the Knights game in the cave. But right in the middle of a first-down measurement the picture switched to a dim room and a man in the chair.
“It’s the Joker.”
“What?” Bruce is behind me, iron still smoking. “Put it on the big screen.”
I push two buttons, and the Joker’s larger than life. And half dead-he put up a fight before getting tied to that chair. Words fade in over the scene:
KILL THE JOKER?
To Vote YES, Call 352-455-DEAD
To Vote NO, Call 352-455-LIVE
Alfred’s voice comes over the intercom: “Master Jason is calling.”
“Of course,” Bruce growls. “Patch him through.”
I start working my keyboard. Bruce slips his cowl over his eyes. “Jason.”
“Hey, Bruce, I’ll make it quick because I know you’ve got the kid tracing this call. Since we can’t agree on how to handle the clown, I decided to open the question up to everyone in Gotham.”
Numbers show up on the screen: “876” next to YES, “684” beside NO. And at the top:
“Just 19 Minutes Left to Vote! (Sorry-only one call per phone number.)”
“By now you’ve spotted the explosives under the chair,” Jason continues. “From his own stash. If the city chooses, that room goes boom in a little more than eighteen minutes.”
“This isn’t how we do things,” says Bruce, poking at another keyboard.
“You can keep on doing nothing. The fine folks of Gotham-they might disagree.”
YES: 1,629. NO: 1,565.
“Life’s not looking good for the clown. Half our dear neighbors are pissed off about everything he’s done. And the other half’s pissed off about missing the game.”
I’ve tracked the call through three international exchanges-then I dead-end in Kahndaq. I turn to Bruce for orders, but he’s scanning a three-page printout of the Joker’s past hangouts.
YES: 2,553. NO: 2,409.
Bruce sprints to Batmobile number 7, engine already revving. So who’ll keep up the conversation? I try lowering my voice: “You don’t have to do-”
“Kid, I know he’s gone.”
Has Jason bugged the cave? No, he just knows Bruce. I tell him, “He’ll get there in time.”
Jason lets out an exaggerated sigh. “Of course-I gave him sixteen more minutes. Keep up, Baby Wonder.”
YES: 3,481. NO: 3,327.
“Then why, Jason?”
Silence. Gone. But now I know why. Jason expects Gotham to vote for the Joker to die, only to see the Batman show up and save him. He wants the whole city to feel like he does.
But if he totally wanted to kill the Joker, he’d have done it himself.
Jason’s mixed feelings give me an idea. The votes are close. I open another window and start typing. I take over the phone lines at Wayne Tech, Gotham Mutual, Starling Telemarketers…
Fifteen minutes later, YES: 32,664. NO: 37,871. And the game’s over.