A Tramp Abroad - Kid Flash 8-page script #4
Characters: Bart Allen (Kid Flash), Jay Garrick (Flash), Alan Scott (Green Lantern), and Wally West (Flash), among others.
Rating: G.
Content: Humor.
Page Count: Eight pages of comics script.
Summary: In the last installment Bart kept trying to get into an office building where he had tracked some assassins, and but kept being transported long distances away. On the last page he was suddenly high in the air, with nothing underneath.
Continuity: DC Comics standard-as of a few weeks back, at least.
Disclaimer: Flash, Kid Flash, and their family and friends are owned by DC Comics under copyright and trademark laws. This pastiche is offered freely as entertainment for fans.
Notes: It all started here.
A Tramp Abroad
PAGE ONE (six tall panels)
Panel 1. BART is plunging through the air from, say, 20,000 feet. He’s pumping his legs frantically.
BART CAP:
Okay, this is bad.
Panel 2. Long shot of BART, still pumping, still falling.
BART CAP:
Air too thin to create a cushion.
Panel 3. Close up on BART’s face as he really starts to worry.
BART CAP:
Too thin to breathe?
Panel 4. BART’s face changes to a look of determination. He starts to twist and swim in midair.
BART CAP:
Can’t get hysterical!
Panel 5. BART has turned himself so he’s plunging headfirst with his mouth open.
BART CAP:
Get all the oxygen I can.
Panel 6. BART disappears into a dark puffy rain cloud.
BART CAP:
I’m not hysterical, but I’m wet.
•
PAGE TWO (five panels)
Panel 1. Inside the rain cloud with BART. He’s in a metaphorical as well as physical fog, and still falling.
BART CAP:
Think. Think!
Panel 2. BART tumbles out of the cloud and sees more puffy clouds below him.
BART CAP:
Cumulus clouds form at the top of thermal updrafts.
Panel 3. BART starts swirling his arms and kicking his legs horizontally.
BART CAP:
Can’t stop falling, but I can push myself sideways.
Panel 4. BART plunges into another cumulus cloud, limbs spread wide.
BART CAP:
Find the center.
Panel 5. BART stops falling so quickly, shown by his hair and whoosh lines.
BART CAP:
Deceleration!
•
PAGE THREE (five panels)
Panel 1. BART is now below the cloud, kicking his feet underneath him to slow his descent. In the far distance behind him, a large airliner is headed his way.
BART CAP:
Okay, that bought some time.
Panel 2. BART is still falling slowly. Airplane is larger, recognizable now.
BART CAP:
This would be so much easier with a Legion flight ring.
Panel 3. Plane is huge, and BART is on a near-collision course with the middle of one wing.
BART CAP:
Hard to think with that roar.
Panel 4. BART’s feet touch down on one of the airplane’s wings.
SFX:
Thunk
BART CAP:
Ooh!
Panel 5. BART races along the wing toward the fuselage. A PASSENGER is peering out a window at him, stunned.
PILOT (balloon pointed toward the cockpit):
Ladies and gentlemen, we are experiencing some slight turbulence.
BART CAP:
Knew I’d think of something!
•
PAGE FOUR (four panels)
Panel 1. Inside the plane’s cabin, the PASSENGER has grabbed a FLIGHT ATTENDANT and is gesturing frantically to the window, though there’s no sign of BART outside now.
PASSENGER:
There was someone running on the wing!
FLIGHT ATTENDANT:
Sir, we all saw that.
Panel 2. The PASSENGER shows surprise at the FLIGHT ATTENDANT’s nonchalance while her expression turns more severe.
PASSENGER:
You all saw the kid on the wing?
FLIGHT ATTENDANT:
No, we all saw that Twilight Zone episode.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT:
You, sir, are not William Shatner…
Panel 3. Exterior image of the airplane with BART running along the top of it.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT (off panel):
…and there is no creature riding on this airplane.
BART CAP:
An Airbus A380. Cruising airspeed of Mach .85.
BART CAP:
Long as I run the same speed, I won’t get blown off.
BART CAP:
Wonder where we’re going.
Panel 4. Credits space.
Title:
A TRAMP ABROAD
CREDITS
•
PAGE FIVE (five panels)
Panel 1. The plane is coming in for a landing at Dublin International Airport. BART is still happily jogging along the top.
BART CAP:
I am the king of surviving falls from a great height.
Panel 2. The plane is taxiing to the terminal. BART sits on top, oblivious to the ground crew members pointing to him, trying to communicate with the pilots.
PILOT (balloon from cockpit):
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Dublin.
BART: Cool.
Panel 3. Overhead view of BART peering down from the top of the plane, seeing no way to run down to the ground.
BART CAP:
You don’t realize how tall these things are until you’re standing on one.
Panel 4. The plane approaches the terminal with its boarding tunnels sticking out. Security teams are racing out to the plane, but BART, still standing on top, can’t see them.
Panel 5. BART zips from the top of the plane to the roof of the nearest boarding tunnel and over to the terminal building as the security teams watch in surprise.
BART CAP:
Time to hit the food court!
•
PAGE SIX (seven panels)
Panel 1. BART stands, looking sheepish, surrounded by security people and airport managers. JAY GARRICK in his Flash uniform is shaking hands with an airport executive. Green Lantern ALAN SCOTT is shaking hands with guards and waving.
JAY:
…and I assure you, it won’t happen again.
Panel 2. ALAN SCOTT is flying JAY and BART back across the Atlantic in a big green bench seat from a 1970s car.
JAY:
You shut down Dublin International Airport.
BART:
Hey, I didn’t make that decision.
Panel 3. Closer on JAY and BART’s serious talk.
JAY:
So when security finally got your attention, why did you refuse to go through the metal detectors?
BART:
I’ve had a very bad day with metal detectors!
Panel 4. BART tries to explain to JAY, who’s heard stuff like this before.
BART:
See, I’m in the middle of a tough investigation!
JAY:
An investigation? *sigh*
JAY:
Bart, have you read what Einstein said about trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results?
Panel 5. Close up on BART’s know-it-all face.
BART:
Actually, I never saw those words in Einstein’s published writing. They first appeared in a book by Rita Mae Brown, so--
Panel 6. BART’s face turns rueful.
BART:
That’s not what you’re asking about, is it?
Panel 7. Longer shot of ALAN SCOTT flying with JAY and BART on the bench across the Midwest landscape, headed to Keystone. There are long shadows as the day ends.
JAY:
No, Bart.
JAY:
I’m asking you to think about how so many of your “investigations” turn out.
JAY:
When we get home, Wally has news.
•
PAGE SEVEN (seven panels)
Panel 1. In JAY GARRICK’s house. If there’s a window, it’s twilight outside. WALLY WEST in his Flash uniform, mask pushed back, is explaining something to BART as JAY looks on. BART is acting wary and defensive.
WALLY:
While you were missing--
BART:
Investigating.
WALLY:
--the chief of the Weather Surveillance Office contacted me.
Panel 2. BART perks up, but WALLY wants him to listen.
BART:
Oooh, the machine-gun guys went in there!
WALLY:
Bart, please. It’s a government agency that manages weather satellite data and technology.
WALLY:
I went to the W.S.O. building…
Panel 3. Flashback to WALLY’s appointment in a nondescript upper-level bureaucrat’s office. He wears the full Flash uniform. The W.S.O. CHIEF is a no-nonsense middle-aged woman in a crisp jacket and skirt. The INSPECTOR GENERAL is a burly man in a suit. Both look ex-military.
WALLY CAP:
…to meet with the local chief and inspector general.
CHIEF:
One of our contract employees--Francis Paul Reid--accidentally intercepted a transmission from the Justice League satellite.
Panel 4. Flashback continues. WALLY is looking concerned, writing notes swiftly.
INSPECTOR GENERAL:
Reid realized he had info about the Justice League’s duty schedule. He tried to take advantage by organizing a burglary and a break-in at your house.
CHIEF:
But your assistant caught those men.
Panel 5. Close up of BART’s face, looking proud.
Panel 6. Flashback scene in the office again.
CHIEF:
Reid tried to cover his tracks by killing his contact in the Keystone City underworld.
INSPECTOR GENERAL:
By chance, Kid Flash was on the scene again.
Panel 7. Another close up of BART’s face, this time exasperated.
BART:
It wasn’t just chance!
•
PAGE EIGHT (seven panels)
Panel 1. In JAY’s house, BART has jumped up, ready for action.
BART:
So they must have caught this Reid guy!
WALLY:
When the inspector general found him this morning, he had committed suicide.
Panel 2. JAY and WALLY look rueful, and even BART is a little subdued.
BART:
Oh.
BART:
But what about the teleporters?!
JAY:
Teleporters?
Panel 3. Evening. BART and WALLY arrive at the top of the W.S.O. building, with JAY a few steps behind. The teleporter that BART ran through in the last installment is no longer there.
BART:
There was a teleporter! Right there!
BART:
And two more downstairs! At least!
Panel 4. BART continues his rooftop explanation as WALLY and JAY exchange skeptical looks.
BART:
Every time I tried to run into this building, I got teleported thousands of miles away!
JAY:
And how many times last month did you go running and lose track of how far you’d gone?
Panel 5. WALLY, JAY, and BART are running back home.
BART:
Only four times! Okay, thirteen.
BART:
But I can’t run 20,000 feet into the air!
JAY:
No, you can’t, Bart. You’re grounded.
Panel 6. Close up of BART’s angry face.
BART:
What?!
Panel 7. Standing outside JAY’s house, BART is protesting to JAY and the world. JAY is adamant, and WALLY calls back as he speeds away.
BART:
What about my investigation?!
WALLY:
There is no investigation anymore, Bart. There’s nothing to investigate.
Continued here.
Rating: G.
Content: Humor.
Page Count: Eight pages of comics script.
Summary: In the last installment Bart kept trying to get into an office building where he had tracked some assassins, and but kept being transported long distances away. On the last page he was suddenly high in the air, with nothing underneath.
Continuity: DC Comics standard-as of a few weeks back, at least.
Disclaimer: Flash, Kid Flash, and their family and friends are owned by DC Comics under copyright and trademark laws. This pastiche is offered freely as entertainment for fans.
Notes: It all started here.
A Tramp Abroad
PAGE ONE (six tall panels)
Panel 1. BART is plunging through the air from, say, 20,000 feet. He’s pumping his legs frantically.
BART CAP:
Okay, this is bad.
Panel 2. Long shot of BART, still pumping, still falling.
BART CAP:
Air too thin to create a cushion.
Panel 3. Close up on BART’s face as he really starts to worry.
BART CAP:
Too thin to breathe?
Panel 4. BART’s face changes to a look of determination. He starts to twist and swim in midair.
BART CAP:
Can’t get hysterical!
Panel 5. BART has turned himself so he’s plunging headfirst with his mouth open.
BART CAP:
Get all the oxygen I can.
Panel 6. BART disappears into a dark puffy rain cloud.
BART CAP:
I’m not hysterical, but I’m wet.
•
PAGE TWO (five panels)
Panel 1. Inside the rain cloud with BART. He’s in a metaphorical as well as physical fog, and still falling.
BART CAP:
Think. Think!
Panel 2. BART tumbles out of the cloud and sees more puffy clouds below him.
BART CAP:
Cumulus clouds form at the top of thermal updrafts.
Panel 3. BART starts swirling his arms and kicking his legs horizontally.
BART CAP:
Can’t stop falling, but I can push myself sideways.
Panel 4. BART plunges into another cumulus cloud, limbs spread wide.
BART CAP:
Find the center.
Panel 5. BART stops falling so quickly, shown by his hair and whoosh lines.
BART CAP:
Deceleration!
•
PAGE THREE (five panels)
Panel 1. BART is now below the cloud, kicking his feet underneath him to slow his descent. In the far distance behind him, a large airliner is headed his way.
BART CAP:
Okay, that bought some time.
Panel 2. BART is still falling slowly. Airplane is larger, recognizable now.
BART CAP:
This would be so much easier with a Legion flight ring.
Panel 3. Plane is huge, and BART is on a near-collision course with the middle of one wing.
BART CAP:
Hard to think with that roar.
Panel 4. BART’s feet touch down on one of the airplane’s wings.
SFX:
Thunk
BART CAP:
Ooh!
Panel 5. BART races along the wing toward the fuselage. A PASSENGER is peering out a window at him, stunned.
PILOT (balloon pointed toward the cockpit):
Ladies and gentlemen, we are experiencing some slight turbulence.
BART CAP:
Knew I’d think of something!
•
PAGE FOUR (four panels)
Panel 1. Inside the plane’s cabin, the PASSENGER has grabbed a FLIGHT ATTENDANT and is gesturing frantically to the window, though there’s no sign of BART outside now.
PASSENGER:
There was someone running on the wing!
FLIGHT ATTENDANT:
Sir, we all saw that.
Panel 2. The PASSENGER shows surprise at the FLIGHT ATTENDANT’s nonchalance while her expression turns more severe.
PASSENGER:
You all saw the kid on the wing?
FLIGHT ATTENDANT:
No, we all saw that Twilight Zone episode.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT:
You, sir, are not William Shatner…
Panel 3. Exterior image of the airplane with BART running along the top of it.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT (off panel):
…and there is no creature riding on this airplane.
BART CAP:
An Airbus A380. Cruising airspeed of Mach .85.
BART CAP:
Long as I run the same speed, I won’t get blown off.
BART CAP:
Wonder where we’re going.
Panel 4. Credits space.
Title:
A TRAMP ABROAD
CREDITS
•
PAGE FIVE (five panels)
Panel 1. The plane is coming in for a landing at Dublin International Airport. BART is still happily jogging along the top.
BART CAP:
I am the king of surviving falls from a great height.
Panel 2. The plane is taxiing to the terminal. BART sits on top, oblivious to the ground crew members pointing to him, trying to communicate with the pilots.
PILOT (balloon from cockpit):
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Dublin.
BART: Cool.
Panel 3. Overhead view of BART peering down from the top of the plane, seeing no way to run down to the ground.
BART CAP:
You don’t realize how tall these things are until you’re standing on one.
Panel 4. The plane approaches the terminal with its boarding tunnels sticking out. Security teams are racing out to the plane, but BART, still standing on top, can’t see them.
Panel 5. BART zips from the top of the plane to the roof of the nearest boarding tunnel and over to the terminal building as the security teams watch in surprise.
BART CAP:
Time to hit the food court!
•
PAGE SIX (seven panels)
Panel 1. BART stands, looking sheepish, surrounded by security people and airport managers. JAY GARRICK in his Flash uniform is shaking hands with an airport executive. Green Lantern ALAN SCOTT is shaking hands with guards and waving.
JAY:
…and I assure you, it won’t happen again.
Panel 2. ALAN SCOTT is flying JAY and BART back across the Atlantic in a big green bench seat from a 1970s car.
JAY:
You shut down Dublin International Airport.
BART:
Hey, I didn’t make that decision.
Panel 3. Closer on JAY and BART’s serious talk.
JAY:
So when security finally got your attention, why did you refuse to go through the metal detectors?
BART:
I’ve had a very bad day with metal detectors!
Panel 4. BART tries to explain to JAY, who’s heard stuff like this before.
BART:
See, I’m in the middle of a tough investigation!
JAY:
An investigation? *sigh*
JAY:
Bart, have you read what Einstein said about trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results?
Panel 5. Close up on BART’s know-it-all face.
BART:
Actually, I never saw those words in Einstein’s published writing. They first appeared in a book by Rita Mae Brown, so--
Panel 6. BART’s face turns rueful.
BART:
That’s not what you’re asking about, is it?
Panel 7. Longer shot of ALAN SCOTT flying with JAY and BART on the bench across the Midwest landscape, headed to Keystone. There are long shadows as the day ends.
JAY:
No, Bart.
JAY:
I’m asking you to think about how so many of your “investigations” turn out.
JAY:
When we get home, Wally has news.
•
PAGE SEVEN (seven panels)
Panel 1. In JAY GARRICK’s house. If there’s a window, it’s twilight outside. WALLY WEST in his Flash uniform, mask pushed back, is explaining something to BART as JAY looks on. BART is acting wary and defensive.
WALLY:
While you were missing--
BART:
Investigating.
WALLY:
--the chief of the Weather Surveillance Office contacted me.
Panel 2. BART perks up, but WALLY wants him to listen.
BART:
Oooh, the machine-gun guys went in there!
WALLY:
Bart, please. It’s a government agency that manages weather satellite data and technology.
WALLY:
I went to the W.S.O. building…
Panel 3. Flashback to WALLY’s appointment in a nondescript upper-level bureaucrat’s office. He wears the full Flash uniform. The W.S.O. CHIEF is a no-nonsense middle-aged woman in a crisp jacket and skirt. The INSPECTOR GENERAL is a burly man in a suit. Both look ex-military.
WALLY CAP:
…to meet with the local chief and inspector general.
CHIEF:
One of our contract employees--Francis Paul Reid--accidentally intercepted a transmission from the Justice League satellite.
Panel 4. Flashback continues. WALLY is looking concerned, writing notes swiftly.
INSPECTOR GENERAL:
Reid realized he had info about the Justice League’s duty schedule. He tried to take advantage by organizing a burglary and a break-in at your house.
CHIEF:
But your assistant caught those men.
Panel 5. Close up of BART’s face, looking proud.
Panel 6. Flashback scene in the office again.
CHIEF:
Reid tried to cover his tracks by killing his contact in the Keystone City underworld.
INSPECTOR GENERAL:
By chance, Kid Flash was on the scene again.
Panel 7. Another close up of BART’s face, this time exasperated.
BART:
It wasn’t just chance!
•
PAGE EIGHT (seven panels)
Panel 1. In JAY’s house, BART has jumped up, ready for action.
BART:
So they must have caught this Reid guy!
WALLY:
When the inspector general found him this morning, he had committed suicide.
Panel 2. JAY and WALLY look rueful, and even BART is a little subdued.
BART:
Oh.
BART:
But what about the teleporters?!
JAY:
Teleporters?
Panel 3. Evening. BART and WALLY arrive at the top of the W.S.O. building, with JAY a few steps behind. The teleporter that BART ran through in the last installment is no longer there.
BART:
There was a teleporter! Right there!
BART:
And two more downstairs! At least!
Panel 4. BART continues his rooftop explanation as WALLY and JAY exchange skeptical looks.
BART:
Every time I tried to run into this building, I got teleported thousands of miles away!
JAY:
And how many times last month did you go running and lose track of how far you’d gone?
Panel 5. WALLY, JAY, and BART are running back home.
BART:
Only four times! Okay, thirteen.
BART:
But I can’t run 20,000 feet into the air!
JAY:
No, you can’t, Bart. You’re grounded.
Panel 6. Close up of BART’s angry face.
BART:
What?!
Panel 7. Standing outside JAY’s house, BART is protesting to JAY and the world. JAY is adamant, and WALLY calls back as he speeds away.
BART:
What about my investigation?!
WALLY:
There is no investigation anymore, Bart. There’s nothing to investigate.
Continued here.