(no subject)
So im pretty sure that my parents are reading my livejournal, but personally i really dont care. I mean if they wanna take away the last place i have to clear my mind and get things off my chest GO RIGHT AHEAD...
Yesterday i come home and Davids all pissed off and freaking out on me and i have no idea why and then we get in the car and hes like "Emily your a slut to everything! Not just sex, but to everything that gives you somthing from it" or some shit like that. Then he picks me up and is all "you know i do this cuz i love you, blah blah blah" "you dont know what love is..." I hate it when he does that, who would know what i feel better then ME?! How can someone tell me what i feel or what i think i feel. How could someone think that they have felt every known feeling and even if they have, that im not feeling it right now? Its not like my parents were highschool sweethearts and got married...Oh wait THEY DID! and guess fucking what IM IN HIGHSCHOOL! Its not like im sleeping around not thinking about what the consiquences might be. I think about it alot. I think about what i would have to do if i got pregnant or got a disease, i know i would ruin my life. I know it would ruin my families. I know that my dad doesnt know anyhting about me and if he did wouldnt know what to do. I understand everyhting that you are saying to me. You havent given me a chance to make you believe that i dont only care about myself you havent given me one ray of light to stand under and tell you how i feel. Well here it is.
On a much brighter note me and Erica's bag was found! Thats what you get when you think positive...
So Rhodes... I dont think, i KNOW im totally head over fucking heals in love with you. I dont care what anyone says. I know what im feeling and I know that its not just lust. I would do anything for you, just as you would for me. Being around you I feel so carefree and so just absolutly wonderful. i finally feel that there is someone that I can be myself with, someone thats interested in hearing things that i have to say, someone that wants to be there for me, not for me to be a burden on. All the things that we talked about after HS, im totally serious. Most people wouldn't think that i could think that at this age, but im totally serious about every word that comes out of my mouth. You make me feel so complete and even on the hardest days for me seeing you brightens my eyes and put a smile on my face. Why i worte this on my lj, i dunno, i guess i just wanted everyone to know,
I want to be taken seriously for once.