Linguistic Limitations
Last week when we were flying back to California for a wedding, I found an abandoned copy of 50 Shades of Grey by our gate. It's very difficult for me to turn down the opportunity to pick up a free book--particularly when it's supposed to be terrible--so I grabbed it. I didn't get a chance to really get into it until today. I'm about 150 pages in now, and I have some thoughts.
Firstly, just to get it out of the way; I am not going to bitch about the writing. It's not written well, but I didn't expect it to be. This book began its life as erotic fan fiction, and I definitely expected something of that caliber. I'm not big into fan fiction, but I have read more than enough internet erotica and actual, published romance novels to have a good idea of what that means. And as far as erotic fan fiction goes, it's really not the worst thing ever. Sure, it's annoying that the author stops every third page to remind me that everything is happening in Washington State (I guess she thought we would forget) or that Mr. Grey's pants just "hang off of his hips" (yes, she uses this description a thousand times), and the main character sounds more like a bubble-headed teenager than a woman about to graduate from college, but meh, it's erotic fan fiction. It's not the sort of erotica that gets me off, but I can appreciate it for what it is.
Several people have already commented on blogs and elsewhere on some of the thematic problems with the book re: the BDSM world and the fact that in the end, Grey is only a dom because he was sexually abused as a kid or something ridiculous like that (the only explanation for his sexual kinks is that he is irreparably psychologically broken, of course!), so I won't talk about that either. I do feel like I've read some comments suggesting that Grey treats Ana horribly and that this is a awful template for a relationship, which I can only answer with a tsk. I mean, how many erotic stories--narratives written entirely with the intent to make you have orgasms--have you gotten relationship advice from? Have you read some of that stuff?! Let's just say there is a healthy amount of erotica where the theme is full on, non-consensual rape. Lots of otherwise normal women get off on that and it doesn't mean they want to be kidnapped and repeatedly raped by a stranger in real life. Same with 50 Shades of Grey. I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to be a relationship manual in any way, shape or form. Guys who point to this and say huffily, "Gosh if this is how women want to be treated, I'll just stop being nice and push them around instead! This just proves that girls don't really like nice guys," don't deserve to be in relationships.
That said, given what I had read about the book, I expected Grey to be *more* controlling. He's actually pretty freaking considerate. He doesn't do more than kiss her before telling her all about kinky he is, and he tells her that it's a required part of a relationship with him. In other words: he's completely honest and straight forward with her. He doesn't lock her in his dungeon and force her to submit to him--he gives full disclosure and a clear, open out. She is 100% free to not be involved with him at all if she doesn't want to be. The problem is that Ana is apparently a 15 year old in a 22 year old's body (ball of raging hormones) AND she thinks maybe she can change him. This a recipe for disaster. I haven't actually read the whole book, so I can't say how it turns out, but I think that will be the biggest sticking point for me. It pisses me off when someone says plainly, "I am not the sort of person who will x, y, z" and the other person thinks, "well maybe for me s/he will x, y, z."
Beyond the book itself, there is one thing that hits me while I'm reading it and that is how ridiculously our culture handles sex. Particularly I find it interesting to note how our cultural hangups about the dirtiness of sex have crept even into our language. I don't make a habit out of reading romance novels, but when I have I have noticed that there is almost no way to write about hot, sexy sex without sounding silly or just downright laughable. How is it even possible that I can be reading an erotic novel where the main theme is hot sex and the main character refers to her vagina as "down there?" Are we 11 years old? No. So why do romance authors write this way? Because when you think about it, there aren't many useable alternatives to "vagina," (which has too clinical of a connotation (if it _must_ have a name, it will be called this, but only in front of a doctor or trusted family member)) and almost all of them are considered VERY vulgar and often derogatory and degrading. Unless the character gets off on being degraded (not out of the realm of possibility in BDSM!), there's not much you can do besides make up silly words or use weak metaphors. In the end I just can't handle it. It ends up being too silly for me. This is part of why romance novels haven't become a habit for me. All sex is varied and unique, but our language refuses to see it in more than black and white. Sex is either transcendentally beautiful or unfathomably dirty and there's not a whole lot of room for in between without sounding silly. It's really too bad.
Firstly, just to get it out of the way; I am not going to bitch about the writing. It's not written well, but I didn't expect it to be. This book began its life as erotic fan fiction, and I definitely expected something of that caliber. I'm not big into fan fiction, but I have read more than enough internet erotica and actual, published romance novels to have a good idea of what that means. And as far as erotic fan fiction goes, it's really not the worst thing ever. Sure, it's annoying that the author stops every third page to remind me that everything is happening in Washington State (I guess she thought we would forget) or that Mr. Grey's pants just "hang off of his hips" (yes, she uses this description a thousand times), and the main character sounds more like a bubble-headed teenager than a woman about to graduate from college, but meh, it's erotic fan fiction. It's not the sort of erotica that gets me off, but I can appreciate it for what it is.
Several people have already commented on blogs and elsewhere on some of the thematic problems with the book re: the BDSM world and the fact that in the end, Grey is only a dom because he was sexually abused as a kid or something ridiculous like that (the only explanation for his sexual kinks is that he is irreparably psychologically broken, of course!), so I won't talk about that either. I do feel like I've read some comments suggesting that Grey treats Ana horribly and that this is a awful template for a relationship, which I can only answer with a tsk. I mean, how many erotic stories--narratives written entirely with the intent to make you have orgasms--have you gotten relationship advice from? Have you read some of that stuff?! Let's just say there is a healthy amount of erotica where the theme is full on, non-consensual rape. Lots of otherwise normal women get off on that and it doesn't mean they want to be kidnapped and repeatedly raped by a stranger in real life. Same with 50 Shades of Grey. I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to be a relationship manual in any way, shape or form. Guys who point to this and say huffily, "Gosh if this is how women want to be treated, I'll just stop being nice and push them around instead! This just proves that girls don't really like nice guys," don't deserve to be in relationships.
That said, given what I had read about the book, I expected Grey to be *more* controlling. He's actually pretty freaking considerate. He doesn't do more than kiss her before telling her all about kinky he is, and he tells her that it's a required part of a relationship with him. In other words: he's completely honest and straight forward with her. He doesn't lock her in his dungeon and force her to submit to him--he gives full disclosure and a clear, open out. She is 100% free to not be involved with him at all if she doesn't want to be. The problem is that Ana is apparently a 15 year old in a 22 year old's body (ball of raging hormones) AND she thinks maybe she can change him. This a recipe for disaster. I haven't actually read the whole book, so I can't say how it turns out, but I think that will be the biggest sticking point for me. It pisses me off when someone says plainly, "I am not the sort of person who will x, y, z" and the other person thinks, "well maybe for me s/he will x, y, z."
Beyond the book itself, there is one thing that hits me while I'm reading it and that is how ridiculously our culture handles sex. Particularly I find it interesting to note how our cultural hangups about the dirtiness of sex have crept even into our language. I don't make a habit out of reading romance novels, but when I have I have noticed that there is almost no way to write about hot, sexy sex without sounding silly or just downright laughable. How is it even possible that I can be reading an erotic novel where the main theme is hot sex and the main character refers to her vagina as "down there?" Are we 11 years old? No. So why do romance authors write this way? Because when you think about it, there aren't many useable alternatives to "vagina," (which has too clinical of a connotation (if it _must_ have a name, it will be called this, but only in front of a doctor or trusted family member)) and almost all of them are considered VERY vulgar and often derogatory and degrading. Unless the character gets off on being degraded (not out of the realm of possibility in BDSM!), there's not much you can do besides make up silly words or use weak metaphors. In the end I just can't handle it. It ends up being too silly for me. This is part of why romance novels haven't become a habit for me. All sex is varied and unique, but our language refuses to see it in more than black and white. Sex is either transcendentally beautiful or unfathomably dirty and there's not a whole lot of room for in between without sounding silly. It's really too bad.