(no subject)

[fred_bob]

i never know how i am. i get to points in my life where i think i know how i will react to things, why my moods change when they do. i guess i still havent reached that point yet. i think a lot of people dont take me as serious as i am. maybe they do, but my mind doesnt let me believe that. which is really frustrating..when i express things it never comes out right. and so when it comes out, you get a different impression on what i really am thinking. which is usually not close in relation. i seem to always be trying to be myself but yet trying to please others at the same time. i have always strived for attention..not like in a glamor or me me me kind of way. but in a way to have friends, who really are my friends. they call just to call..they tell me how they really are feeling when i ask and dont say, oh im fine dont worry abut it. fuck that shit. i guess i expect a lot from people. and myself..shit i mean people can give so much, but they only give whats reasonable. i dont understand that. i dont like people knowing who i am. ha. some people, such as karri, sam, cori, ha maybe even joe may know more about me than others. but still. its all different knowledge. i hate it when people make up assumptions about other people. when they think they know the person well enough to analyze them..i do this too sometimes, but now that i think about it, its rediclious. anyone human person can never know another. i think its impossible. so why cast judgements so easily. yes, you may notice a person, whos life is only drugs. you judge them so fast just because of a title or image. you see someone smart, into..hell... books, nad you judge them as a loser, someone who has no friends maybe. that person could know so much, or is stiving to know something because they can bairly read and they are trying to improve themselves so they can go through life easier without shit from other people. overall, i think people are simpleminded and are pathedic. i view myself this way too dont get me wrong im not casting judgements towards everyone else..

i have so much more to write but i have to goto work or i will be late

..later man