Another long day of research and developement
I sit here wondering if I should just give up and go home for the night. I am frustrated beyond words and yet sad at the same time. Things aren't going as well as I expected. I haven't seen nor heard anything from Wesley in days now. He must be really busy, which is understandable in our line of work. And I find myself wondering if he ever got my message in the first place.
//Firewall to everyone//
I told Dawn that Spike is still here amongst the living...And I finally gathered up the nerve to tell Spike that I told her. I don't really fear for my life. I fear for the friendship I may have lost now, because of my secrets. I am sad, beyond sad really, as I wait for some word back from Spike. I hope that he can understand why I had to tell Dawn.
After our talk, I couldn't let her continue to think that he had died, and left her alone, like some many others have. She's may be 18 physically, but she has experienced so much loss and unhappiness that no one should have to be forced to deal with so early in life.
As her friend I had to tell her.
And now I feel like I have betrayed Spike...but he only knows part of whats going on. I haven't the strength to tell him of her plans.
In a way, Dawn reminds me of a younger version of myself, unfortunately I didn't have anyone to help me when I had something I didn't know how to cope with.
//End firewall//
I think I am going to go home and take a nice warm bath and crawl into bed...I haven't done that in such a long time...maybe even try to get at least 6 hours of sleep. The work will still be here in the morning...it's not as though the work is going to do it's self, as much as I wish it would at this point in time.
//Firewall to everyone//
I told Dawn that Spike is still here amongst the living...And I finally gathered up the nerve to tell Spike that I told her. I don't really fear for my life. I fear for the friendship I may have lost now, because of my secrets. I am sad, beyond sad really, as I wait for some word back from Spike. I hope that he can understand why I had to tell Dawn.
After our talk, I couldn't let her continue to think that he had died, and left her alone, like some many others have. She's may be 18 physically, but she has experienced so much loss and unhappiness that no one should have to be forced to deal with so early in life.
As her friend I had to tell her.
And now I feel like I have betrayed Spike...but he only knows part of whats going on. I haven't the strength to tell him of her plans.
In a way, Dawn reminds me of a younger version of myself, unfortunately I didn't have anyone to help me when I had something I didn't know how to cope with.
//End firewall//
I think I am going to go home and take a nice warm bath and crawl into bed...I haven't done that in such a long time...maybe even try to get at least 6 hours of sleep. The work will still be here in the morning...it's not as though the work is going to do it's self, as much as I wish it would at this point in time.