Keeping My Last Name
Just as I'm typing in the subject for this entry it occurred to me that a man would never, ever have the occasion to write about anything that would necessitate using a similar subject (well at least not in the US and I guess those under witness protection are really under a different situation).
I wonder if men ever consider the conflict that it puts some of us in. Of course not all of us are conflicted, in fact I have a few female friends who will respond with an "Of course!" or "Absolutely!" when prompted with the question of whether they will take their husbands' last name as if it was as natural as breathing. And then there's the other camp who will respond with "Of course not!", with just as much assurance and confidence. I'm more in the 2nd group but definitely with a leg and maybe even an arm in the middle, conflicted group.
I have the same reasons as everyone else who wants to keep their last name.. identity, fear of having to change my name back (yes I don't believe marriages are by default forever.. it takes work and some don't last forever), and just the overall trouble with having to deal with paperwork. But I can't deny the appeal of being able to refer to a couple collectively like the "Smiths". It's almost like when you decide to create something, like a group or a business, and you give it a name and suddenly that thing has its own identity. Ideally it would be pretty neat to just create a new name and use that.
Of course I can still keep my name and we can still be referred to as my husband's name collectively but it's just not the same. And it's the little details like this that sometimes comes back to question me about my choices.
Some surprising stats... 80% of women in the US take their husband's last name - http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/wayoflife/11/05/o.change.name.after.marriage/index.html
I wonder if men ever consider the conflict that it puts some of us in. Of course not all of us are conflicted, in fact I have a few female friends who will respond with an "Of course!" or "Absolutely!" when prompted with the question of whether they will take their husbands' last name as if it was as natural as breathing. And then there's the other camp who will respond with "Of course not!", with just as much assurance and confidence. I'm more in the 2nd group but definitely with a leg and maybe even an arm in the middle, conflicted group.
I have the same reasons as everyone else who wants to keep their last name.. identity, fear of having to change my name back (yes I don't believe marriages are by default forever.. it takes work and some don't last forever), and just the overall trouble with having to deal with paperwork. But I can't deny the appeal of being able to refer to a couple collectively like the "Smiths". It's almost like when you decide to create something, like a group or a business, and you give it a name and suddenly that thing has its own identity. Ideally it would be pretty neat to just create a new name and use that.
Of course I can still keep my name and we can still be referred to as my husband's name collectively but it's just not the same. And it's the little details like this that sometimes comes back to question me about my choices.
Some surprising stats... 80% of women in the US take their husband's last name - http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/wayoflife/11/05/o.change.name.after.marriage/index.html