(no subject)
the coolest pet that you could ever have is a tortoise. i suggest you go find one. NOW!
i imagine that if my tortoise sheldon actually spoke, he would speak ridiculous fast, ending every sentence with a gasp that runs into the start of the next one. he has opinions on everything from politics to pop music and really doesn't like the taste of grass. he secretly gets into the refrigerator at night and eats turkey sandwiches and yogurt. when no one is home he plays video games and makes long calls out to the desert.
inside his shell he keeps all kinds of treasures that he finds during his adventures outside. when he pulls himself in his shell shelter at night he looks at pornographic magazines and thinks of girl tortoise poon.
when he is hibernating during the winter he replaces himself with a decoy tortoise shell and sneaks off to jamaica and drinks mia tais by the beach.
i wish i was a tortoise.
i imagine that if my tortoise sheldon actually spoke, he would speak ridiculous fast, ending every sentence with a gasp that runs into the start of the next one. he has opinions on everything from politics to pop music and really doesn't like the taste of grass. he secretly gets into the refrigerator at night and eats turkey sandwiches and yogurt. when no one is home he plays video games and makes long calls out to the desert.
inside his shell he keeps all kinds of treasures that he finds during his adventures outside. when he pulls himself in his shell shelter at night he looks at pornographic magazines and thinks of girl tortoise poon.
when he is hibernating during the winter he replaces himself with a decoy tortoise shell and sneaks off to jamaica and drinks mia tais by the beach.
i wish i was a tortoise.