HAPPY KIND OF SAD
i realized that today was the definition of the happy kind of sad...the kind of feeling that you get when a smile is wiped across your face, but you feel like crying angry tears all at the same time. i woke up at one o'clock, showered, and got ready for the kind of day that no one wants to wake up to. mommy made me banana pancakes, because she claimed that she was thinking about the jack johnson song. that made me smile. it's always nice to know that your parents are trying to fit in to your scene. i picked my friend sam up for a surprise party in the afternoon. tommy, my best guy friend since i was literally two years old, is moving to kentucky. i hate it. i took advantage of him being there for far too long, and now i'm panicking because time is running out. it was a surprise going away party at simmons park, and it rained. a bunch of kids that go to my school, but i don't talk to, were huddled inside a pavilion with hot dogs and lemonade as rain splashed into the creek and made puddles in the grass. i felt cold, and sad, and kind of out of place. i wanted tommy all to myself so i could tell him how much i was going to miss him, but that felt selfish. i promised that we could go out to dinner before he left in two weeks and that he could drive my lexus wherever we went. it stopped raining once i left for work...figures. i was there from 6:00 to 10:30, and for as much as i was dreading having to see dave after all that has happened, everything was fine. i was straightforward with him for once. dave is my co-worker. he has a crush on me and calls me princess...and so does chris. he's my other co-worker and has a high maintenance, gucci purse carrying, platinum hollister card using girlfriend that likes to make up stories about me. her name is lindsay, and she has made me angry lately. i had some visitors at work, which made me smile. they were stoners from school who like to talk about smoking bowls and use the word FCUK in every other sentence. they bought six packs of sixlets for six cents each. the silly things that amuse people crack me up. i dropped dave off at his house after work (things are weird...he didn't even hug me when he got out of the car. it bothered me for some reason, but then again he was probably upset when i told him that i had other plans and couldn't stay for his family's bonfire.) and went to pick mommy up at erica's graduation party. some drool-worthy senior guys were doing line dances while checking out the asses of the senior cheerleaders in front of them. that's typical behavior of all eighteen year old males, i guess. after being conned into dancing for awhile in my disgusting work clothes, i drove home with a headache. i hate when i drive with one of my parents and they correct every little turn and stop that i make. kind of makes me want to smack them. can't i do anything my way, please? kay, thanks. drama, losing friends, graduation parties, and headaches make me sad. somehow, they all relate to one another. i could make some profound connection between the four of them, but i have work in the morning. my head is throbbing, and i'm tired. let's just be honest, they all just suck.
