NaNo Fic: Find Your Way Through Me (ATWT, Luke/Noah, AU) - Chapter Nine

[freakykat]

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Title: Find Your Way Through Me
Author: freakykat
Rating: NC-17
Chapter: Chapter Nine
Pairing: Luke/Noah
Summary: Where there is darkness, find your way through me.
Disclaimer: Sadly I don’t own any of the boys I like to play with. All rights for the characters go to P&G, ATWT, JP, CG, etc.
Beta: The phenomenal and wonderful noelleleithe who took this monster on! I love you!
W/C: 5035
Warnings: MAJOR ANGST, some character death (NOT THE BOYS!), violence (It does have a happy ending, I swear!)
Author’s Note: Not quite as Epic as last time, this is a little over 50,000 words. My eternal gratitude to noelleleithe and reilael who listened to me bitch and moan and rhapsodize about this for MONTHS. Even if you're not in this fandom, feel free to read it. Enjoy! And feedback is yearned, loved and appreciated.
Story Notes: Found in Chapter One

All chapters found here.



Find your way through me

Chapter Nine

Noah paced the small space in Margo’s office - from her desk to the door and back. She had to give him credit for not having completely lost it yet. His hands clasped at his back, the frustration clear in the line of his mouth. Sometimes when she looked at him, she barely saw the quiet boy that had spent as much time in her house as he had his own. She had learned long ago to harden her heart when it came to those boys she’d watch grow into men. Noah was the best of them and it was difficult to not be moved by how much he still cared despite trying his best not to.

“Noah, you know procedure. We can’t do anything until after the forty-eight hour mark.”

He paused, shoulders falling slightly and she heard the deep sigh before he turned to look at her. “She wouldn’t leave, Margo.”

“How do you know that, Noah? We aren’t in Vienna’s life.”

Noah glared at her, restraining himself from yelling, the cords of muscle in his arms flexing from the effort. “Because she loves Henry and her son, Margo and she would never - there’s no way.”

Margo had seen too much in her life to be able to believe that. People surprised and horrified her every day. “You never really know someone, Noah, ever.”

He blinked at her. “Obviously.”

That hurt just a little but she couldn’t back down. Not officially. If Vienna was missing and they lost two days it would be impossible to follow the trail she would have left behind. “There’s nothing we can do, Noah.”

“Jesus Christ, Margo. Come on!” He waved one hand at her, the other clenched at his side. “That’s bullshit and you know it!”

“Detective Mayer, I suggest you pull yourself together.” Margo rose from her chair, glowering as she leaned on her desk, two hands bracing her up. “Listen to me. We can’t do anything.”

He opened this mouth to say something else but stopped suddenly, understanding what she had just said. He took a step to the door, nodding, glancing at her with grateful eyes.

“Understood, ma’am.”

Margo nodded back, waving him away.

With any luck, whatever Noah came up with would help.

She watched Noah and Henry rush out of the door followed by Brad. Opening the file on her desk, she read Taylor’s report on the Johnson homicide, finding the gaps as wide as her officer had. They had to be missing an obvious clue but what it was she couldn’t tell. Maybe if Jack got involved, a fresh pair of eyes might catch what the rest of them couldn’t. She looked into the squad room, hoping that Jack hadn’t gone out and blinked rapidly when Luke entered through the doors.

It was the eeriest sense of déjà vu that washed over her.

Leaving the file on her desk, she rushed out to meet him, catching Jade’s gaze as she came in through the door. All she received was a shake of Jade’s head and a shrug. She met Luke’s eyes, stopping just a few feet from him, feeling that immense wave of guilt that somehow she could never get rid of. No matter how many times Luke told her to.

“Luke, honey, what are you doing here?”

He was glancing around, searching the room thoroughly before looking back at her. Margo was pretty sure she knew who he’d been trying to find. Or maybe making sure wasn’t there.

“I came to help with Vienna.”

Margo stared at him then Jade - who was hiding her face in her hands - and back to Luke. “That’s a joke, right?”

Luke narrowed his stare. “No. I want to help.”

“I don’t think - Luke, we aren’t even looking for her yet. It’s only been eighteen hours since she’s been gone.” Margo waved around the department. “And in case you haven’t noticed, this is a police matter. You don’t -”

Luke held up a hand. “I do, too. You never officially took me off as a consultant, Margo. I can help with this.”

She wasn’t sure what to say. It was true that she hadn’t taken the time to take away Luke’s access to their work but she hadn’t thought - no one had ever thought - he’d make it back to them.

“I can’t.”

He gave her almost the same look she’d received from Noah earlier and she found herself saying the same thing to him. “There’s nothing we can do, Luke.”

Nodding his head, he turned on his heel, pausing to touch Jade’s arm before disappearing through the doors. Margo met Jade’s sad eyes, moving to give her a quick hug before pulling back. “You and Harrison go check out the Coleman house. Look around the neighborhood for anything.”

Jade nodded, collecting Harrison on her way out and Margo buried her face in her hands, refusing to panic yet.

It would be okay. It had to be.

*

Noah smiled as he watched Luke tiptoe back into the room in an effort not to wake him up.

“You know, I think you need some stealth lessons, babe.” Noah held back a laugh when Luke jumped three feet in the air, eyes so round that Noah could make out the whites in the darkness. He followed Luke’s progress from the door to their bed, swallowing his tongue when Luke crawled toward him, grin glinting on his face.

“I’m sorry I’m not a ninja like you, freak.”

Noah chuckled, pulling Luke in, hands falling on Luke’s hips, and his mouth covered Luke’s smile. His fingers traveled over the soft material of Luke’s sleep pants, getting caught on the edge of the elastic band. Luke opened his mouth, tongue meeting Noah’s, letting out the quietest of moans. When Noah dove inside, gripping Luke’s cock, hot and wet, in his hand, the moan increased in volume.

“Oh, god.”

Noah nuzzled Luke’s neck, dropping his other hand from Luke’s waist to grab at the back of Luke’s head, titling it to the side so he could get better access. His wrist hurt from the unnatural angle but the sounds coming from Luke made the pain bearable. He twisted his hand at the tip, running his thumb over the leaking slit and sliding all the way down.

He loved to see Luke’s face as the pleasure took over. The way his eyes slit almost closed, his mouth slack, noises and his name escaping through kiss-swollen lips. Each sound shooting straight to Noah’s cock, making each pulse beat harder, until he needed to touch himself as much as he needed to touch Luke. He let go of Luke and would have laughed at the protesting moan if he hadn’t been so aware of the separation. Rolling Luke under him, Noah pulled at the waist band, ridding Luke of his pants in one swift motion.

Luke’s head pushed back into the bed, grabbing at Noah’s shoulder and pulling up. “Noah, come on. Please.”

He loved that voice Luke used when he couldn’t think properly. Gravelly and deep, raw like an open wound. Noah felt that way whenever they were together. From the first moment they’d been together - it was that need, overwhelming and all consuming - that left him unable to stay hidden behind the walls he kept up - even with Luke.

But whenever his skin touched Luke’s, whenever they were tangled together, hands and feet and chest and mouths, Noah couldn’t stop them from falling. He wasn’t able to stop Luke from seeing him. Every broken, jagged part he carried. And that had scared Noah for so long because he was sure if Luke really saw who he was - he wouldn’t love him.

Nothing had been farther from the truth. Luke loved him more for every scar he held.

Blue eyes clashed with deep gold, and Noah smirked when gold darkened to brown as he licked his tongue over one dark nipple. Luke bucked upward, hand gripping Noah’s head. “That’s so…”

“Good?” Noah nipped at the bud, lapping after every brand of pain, watching Luke’s face redden. He turned his attention back to what he was doing, rolling the nub between his tongue, switching without warning to the other one. Luke whimpered and the vice on his head tightened, hurt but it was perfect. It made him stay in the moment. He tended to get lost in the taste of Luke and tonight he needed to be present.

“So good. I want you - inside - nnnggh - oh fuck.”

Noah’s mouth and tongue traveled down the length of Luke’s body, nipping at skin, hands molding muscles, fingers dancing across the expanse of Luke’s stomach, hips, thighs until Noah buried his face in Luke’s lap, inhaling the sweat and musk that was Luke. He didn’t hesitate and took Luke into his mouth, lips covering the hard shaft fully. He adjusted his weight, tongue pressed against the side of Luke’s dick, sucking on the bulging vein. Fingers dug into his hair, scrambling to get a hold of scalp and he glanced up at Luke with half lidded eyes.

Luke was watching him, mouth open and panting, eyes fighting the need to close and give in to just sensations. Noah pulled his mouth off with a wet sounding pop and replaced it with one hand, keeping his gaze on Luke’s, licking gently at the leaking head.

He smiled at the half-growl, half-groan that Luke gave, felt the hard cock in his hand twitch.

Luke jerked his hips up until Noah smacked them lightly, placing a hand firmly to still the movement. “Stop. Don’t move.”

Luke struggled, stuttering to a halt and looked down at Noah, breathing hard at the effort. Noah patted gently at the crease where his hip met his thigh, lingering just enough to make Luke moan. He took his time, running fingers over the air surrounding Luke’s shaft, down his balls, rolling one gently between his knuckles. Luke growled his name, mixed with some serious cursing and Noah raised an eyebrow before diving down to take Luke back in.

When Noah closed his mouth just over the slit, tongue flat across it, shallow thrusts of his hand and mouth, Luke’s head tipped back, long groan vibrated from his chest all the way down where Noah felt it, tasted it. A sheen of sweat covered Luke, his legs trembling with the effort to stay in place and when Noah glanced up, meeting his eyes, he sucked him in all the way until it choked off air.

Luke screamed out in surprise, gibberish of love and need filling the air, forgetting what Noah had asked and pushing up, hitting the back of Noah’s throat, burying his cock fast and hard.

It was too much for Noah, the smell and taste and sound of Luke surrounding him. His aching cock dripping on the bed underneath, pulsing with need and Noah gripped it with his free hand. Luke gasped, tripping on the sound and Noah glanced up, seeing Luke’s gaze on Noah’s hand, tongue licking his mouth as he watched Noah jerk himself.

Teeth scraped lightly over Luke’s hot flesh, deeper thrusts in, and Noah allowed Luke to guide their movement, encouraged the loss of control with his moans. He let Luke fuck his mouth until his eyes burned, until he couldn’t breathe. Luke watched him and Noah gripped harder, feeling the tell tale sign of his orgasm at the base of this spine. He pumped harder, lost in all the sensations and needing, wanting, loving.

Luke came with a cry, head falling back, throat exposed, spilling hot inside Noah. He swallowed everything he could but the sight brought him to his end and he pulled away, low moan of Luke’s name as he spilled white ribbons on Luke’s stomach. Noah could barely breathe, falling forward, cheek against Luke’s thigh.

He felt gentle hands in his hair, smoothing back the damp strands, twisting fingers around them. He brought one limp hand up, catching Luke’s free one in it, folding them together. It felt like hours that he lay there but Noah was sure it was only minutes when Luke squirmed underneath him.

Noah forced his head up to met Luke’s wide languid grin with his own before moving slowly up to capture it with his mouth. He laid right over Luke, laughing when he made a grumbling sound in protest to their stickiness which Noah admitted was a little gross.

“Sorry. I can’t help it sometimes.”

Luke smiled up at him, eyes twinkling, hand caressing Noah’s cheek. “Same here.”

Noah watched the smile slide off Luke’s face and he reached up to hold Luke’s head between his hands. “It’s only six weeks, baby.”

Luke nodded. “I know.” He wrapped both arms over Noah, squeezing. “And I’m okay, I promise. I just - I’m going to miss you.” He moved his chin up to allow Noah to get more comfortable. The air cooled their skin, making them shiver and Noah pulled up the comforter. He moved off Luke slightly, hooking his ankles through Luke’s legs.

“I know this is hard for you.”

When Luke didn’t respond, Noah glanced up at him. “I know it’s hard to understand. But - do you remember how you felt when you decided to open the center? That it was the only way you could think to right all those wrongs, even if they weren’t your fault.”

Luke nodded, casting his eyes down to meet Noah’s. “I do.”

“This is that for me. I can try to make it easier for other people. Maybe it’ll help me feel less - useless.”

Luke scooted down, draping across Noah, hand resting gently on his chest, the beat of Noah’s heart thumping under Luke’s fingers. “It’s your decision and I support it. After what happened with Sage, after Reg, I get why you feel you have to do this.” Noah pulled him in closer and Luke sighed. “It won’t stop me from worrying, though.”

“It’s only training. I’ll be okay.” Noah ran his fingers through Luke’s hair, massaging the scalp lightly. “The time will pass so fast you won’t even know I’m gone.”

Luke snorted. “Not likely.”

The silence stretched to almost breaking until Noah finally spoke quietly. “Thank you for everything, Luke.”

“I love you.”

Noah smiled, tugging Luke’s hair tenderly, peppering kissing across the top of his head.

“Same here.”

*

Entering this place was like seeing another part of his life, that place he never studied too closely in himself. His hands itched at seeing the cameras in every direction, wanting the buzz of people that flew across the room, talking on headsets, marking down scenes, places. He missed being in the thick of all that creativity. It always left him feeling like a part of his soul had been cut cleanly off. It was the choices in his life that had led him to where he was - he knew that - but it was still hard to let go of it all.

The lights were hot and bright making Noah squint as he waited in silence for the taping to stop. Kim was standing behind one of the cameras intently watching the news cast. It took another few minutes and then the on air light went off causing the studio to erupt in activity. His mind flashed back to that summer internship, the tentative beginnings of his relationship with Luke. His eyes fell to the storage closet just beyond the back set and he recalled several hot make out sessions. It had been hard to control what he wanted around Luke. It still was.

Kim turned and caught his eyes, smiling broadly and waving him over. Noah smiled at her, winding his way through interns and crew. When he was close enough, Kim pulled him into a hug, kissing his cheek lightly. She still smelled of Chanel No. 5 and the light scent of powder. Noah took note of how tired she looked, the wan in her smile, and worry surfaced.

“What is my favorite detective doing here?” Her tone warm and sweet, hands patting his shoulders as she smoothly guided him out of the way. “Have you finally decided to take my offer and put that degree to use?” She gave him a stern look and Noah bit back the sigh that wanted to escape. It never failed with Kim. Always bringing up job offers that he couldn’t imagine he was capable of taking anymore.

He smiled despite the annoyance because it was Kim being Kim. He couldn’t fault her for wanting to make his old dreams come true even if they were completely different now. Remembering his reason for being there, he sobered quickly, shaking his head and taking her elbow. They proceeded to the office just off the set and he closed the door to shut out all the clatter.

He glanced around the room, nothing much having changed except that instead of tapes of the shows, the bookcases were lined with digital cases. He was behind on all the new technology apparently. Meeting Kim’s worried eyes, he sat down, motioning for her to do the same, before speaking in calm, hushed tones. It was the first thing they taught you at the police academy. Quiet voice, repeat their name, gentle movements. Noah had always been restrained so it wasn’t much of a stretch for him to follow those guidelines.

“Vienna Coleman went missing sometime in the early morning hours - we think maybe two or so.”

Kim covered her mouth with one hand. “Oh my - oh - I don’t - any idea what might have happened?”

Noah shook his head. “Not the slightest but I don’t think it’s good, Kim.”

She nodded, one clasping her throat and Noah watched her blink back some tears. “Of course not. Vienna wouldn’t just leave Henry. She certainly would never leave her son.”

Margo words about not knowing a person or their life rang in his ears but he knew - could feel it in his gut - that he knew Vienna enough to be certain if she had disappeared it hadn’t been her idea.

“I agree with that. Completely.”

Kim looked up at him and nodded. “I take it there’s something you want of me.”

Noah nodded, pointing behind his shoulder at the set. “We think it would be a good idea if we could maybe get Vienna’s face out to the general public. Just get the word out about her disappearance, see if anyone saw anything, maybe get a lead before we begin.”

Kim raised an eyebrow. “So, this isn’t official?”

Noah sniffed derisively. “Forty-eight hours it becomes official. But by then we’ll lose any momentum. This is just -”

“Pre-emptive strike?”

Noah smiled softly. “Something like that. Can you help us with this, Kim?”

She took his hand, squeezing gently. “Of course. What do you need from me?”

Noah brought her hand up to kiss it, grateful that Kim had such a wonderful heart. “We just need five minutes and a few re-broadcasts over the next couple of days.”

He hoped it wasn’t too late.

*

Jade opened another drawer, carefully lifting the clothes in them, searching for some sign that pointed to - she didn’t even know. Henry being guilty of having gotten rid of his wife? It was preposterous to her. She’d witnessed their relationship. Seen and knew how deeply they had loved each other. But she also knew her job. What the investigators would insinuate. They would waste numerous hours looking to find evidence that pointed to the victim’s husband.

“Do not think of her that way, Jade.”

Vienna wasn’t a victim. Not yet.

“Get a grip.”

Wonderful.

This case had barely gotten under way and she was already talking to herself.

She needed to get a grip and concentrate.

Closing that drawer, she moved on the next and repeated the search. She went through every single one methodically. When nothing showed, her focus went to the closet. Nothing seemed missing or disturbed but not knowing what should be there, she couldn’t attest that as the truth.

The bed hadn’t been made yet and she smoothed a gloved hand over the comforter. It was a habit. Trying to feel any kind of vibes from crime scenes. A part of her - very small one - had always been jealous that Luke could do that. Feel the presence of someone. Just know where to find them. Then there was the part that had witnessed Noah’s face when Luke had seemed lost forever and she quickly let go of her envy.

There was a note of the bedside table written in neat handwriting and signed with a heart. Vienna had the sweetest penmanship. All curls at the end of her letters and open loops. Jade had taken a class in studying people’s writing styles. She could tell by the letters that Vienna had been happy. No shaking hand when writing it - which Jade knew usually indicated the person wasn’t in distress. There was a sense of freedom and love radiating from the words.

Vienna hadn’t just left. And there was no way in hell that Henry had done anything to her.

Whatever had happened, it wasn’t good and Jade feared what would happen if her fears - and the ones she’d briefly caught on Margo’s face - came to pass. This town had been through so much in the last few years. So much pain and death.

Jade wondered if any of them would ever find peace for long.

Harrison walked into the room, waving his hand at her, pointing a thumb at the door. “I think we got a problem, Jade.”

She glanced behind him to find her cousin walking into the bedroom. Her mouth fell open for a moment and then she was up on her feet, pushing Luke back out into the hall. “Have you lost all sense? You can’t be here. You know you can’t be here. This is -”

“An unofficial police investigation so far, Jade. I’m not breaking any rules at the moment. Just came back to check on my friends is all.” He brushed past her and Harrison, scanning the room carefully.

“What are you going to do, Luke?”

He didn’t answer, slowly circling the room until his eyes fell on the rocking chair in the corner and Jade tensed when Luke started walking toward it. She caught sight of the sweater draped over the arms. Taking three long strides, she grabbed it roughly, holding it away from Luke. “Not gonna happen, Luke.” She braced herself for the fight that was coming.

It didn’t matter if Luke didn’t speak to her for a week after this. There was no way in hell that she would let him do this. Again.

Something flared in his eyes and he straighten, one hand resting on his hip as he stared at her. “Jade.”

She shook her head again. “You’re not going to and that’s final.”

“Oh come on. You know and I know this her best chance, Jade.”

Harrison stepped forward, flanking Jade instinctively even though he knew Luke well enough to not be afraid he was going to hurt her. He stared from one to the other. Jade could see the confusion on his face. He’d only joined the force recently and had luckily missed that horrific event. “My cousin wants to intercede in the investigation.”

Luke narrowed his eyes. “The one that you’re not officially running since the cops can’t bother to sneeze without fucking permission.” The bitterness took Jade by surprise though it shouldn’t have. What happened to Luke and Noah had partially been all their faults. Rules and regulations that they had needed to follow stood in the way and no matter their regrets, they could never change any of it.

It still bothered her, though. Her job had saved her life. Given it purpose when she’d been so lost that no one, especially not Jade, had known how to fix it. What she did, it had kept her sane until she’d had Daisy and her whole life had changed again.

“I get why you feel that way but it doesn’t change the fact that you are not part of any of this, Luke.”

“I live in this town. I know these people. Vienna and Henry are friends. I’m supposed to not care? If something has happened, how am I not a part of this?” He stepped closer, hands coming to rest on Jade’s arms. “I have this thing I didn’t ask for. This ability that drives into my mind. And it’s horrible. It hurts half the time, makes me feel like I’m crazy and a freak always. But I have an opportunity to use it to help someone else.”

Luke looked over at Harrison, suddenly remembering he was in the room and Jade glanced over as well. He looked confused but his face also had a firm set letting Luke know he would be backing Jade up. When she turned her attention back to Luke, he narrowed his eyes at her, taking a step back.

“Okay.”

She blinked when he walked to the door, stepping through into the hall without saying anymore. It had been years since she’d experienced that sense of distance between them. Not since she’d been a messed up kid taking advantage of Luke’s vulnerability. Her hand reached out into the air as she called his name.

He stopped, peering back at her over his shoulder, waiting. Luke had always been waiting. “What?”

“This isn’t - if I could, I would -”
He snorted at that, shaking his head while he fixed his coat, avoiding eye contact with her. “Yeah, Jade. I know.” He disappeared from view and she heard the sound of his footstep down the stairs and a few moments later jumped when the door slammed closed.

“He is not happy.”

Jade sighed, running one hand over her tangled hair, not even bothering to response to that statement.

“Let’s get back to work.”

She’d deal with Luke later.

Right now, she needed to find something that could lead them to Vienna. That was what she needed to worry about.

*

Noah waited until the last camera light had switched from red to white before stepping onto the carpeted set and sitting next to Henry. He put one hand around his shoulders and leaned his head down, forcing his friend to look at him. “You did good.”

Henry closed his eyes, scoffed lightly. “Yeah, I’m a regular hero.” He rubbed his face roughly with both hands, dropping them just as quickly to crane his neck and stare at the blaring lights from the ceiling. “My wife goes missing and I help by doing a television spot.”

“Hey, listen to me. What you just did here? That could make the difference on how fast we find her. Okay? If anyone saw anything, they’ll be more inclined to call because they saw your face. Heard what you had to say about Vienna. Know about Nikolas. It makes a difference, Henry.”

Henry sniffed quietly. “Can I just get a minute?”

Noah nodded, squeezing Henry’s arm before standing and walking to a waiting Kim. Her face was solemn and he glanced behind to watch Henry. The drop of his shoulders, the face that seemed to have aged overnight, trembling fingers running through messy hair.

Kim studied him as she came to stand at his side. “I can’t imagine this is easy for you. What this brings up.”

Noah had managed to keep those thought bottled up. It wasn’t the same. Vienna was missing but it didn’t mean anything. It wasn’t like before. “I’m trying not to.”

Kim nodded, smoothing one hand over his shoulder gently. “You’re a doing an amazing job, Noah.” When he let out a disbelieving laugh, she slapped his arm lightly. “Don’t do that. Don’t make it less then it is. You go out there every day and fight for all these people. That’s something.”

He closed his eyes at the soft press of her lips on his cheeks, listening to her footsteps fade.

Kim always managed to see good even when there wasn’t any. It was a wonderful trait in a person. He wished he still had that ability. He opened his eyes, gaze falling on Henry as he paced in the corner. He remembered that feeling. Too well.

His phone rang and he tore his eyes away from watching Henry to glance at the face, pushing the call button at seeing Jade’s name appear. “Hey. What’s going on?”

The pause that followed his question was long and Noah knew it was bad. Every nerve in his body, his stomach, his heart - they felt it even before Jade spoke.

“One of the officers searching the area found - “

“What, Jade?”

“She found some blood on the sidewalk about a block from the diner right off of Vienna and Henry’s street. It trailed some onto the street and then just stopped.”

Noah looked up and met Henry’s stare, watched the recognition of whatever Henry saw on Noah’s face reflect in his own. Henry shook his head, hand clenching the arm of the couch to keep upright and Noah started moving forward.

“Get forensics in there. Let’s see if we can get anything from the blood. Call Margo and let her know. If it matches with Vienna’s then we can start the official search through all channels. I’ll meet you at the station.”

“I’ll update the Chief. Harrison is calling in Suarez and his team.” She paused and Noah waited for whatever she was debating to tell him. The moment passed and she cleared her throat. “Do you want us to wait here or meet you at the station?”

He was standing a few feet from Henry now and when he met his desperate stare, Noah’s heart dropped to his feet with the grief there. “Station. I think it would be better that way.” He snapped his cell shut, finding the courage to tell Henry the possibility his wife wasn’t alive.

-Chapter Ten-