FIC: More than kin less than kind (Gus verse, prequel to BAON, B/J)
Title: More than kin and less than kind
Author: freakykat
Time Frame: post 513 - future fic
Series/Sequel: Part of Gus series/Set before "By Any Other Name"
Summary: Gus learns something about his father.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Angsty
Notes: Thanks to wouldbedorothy for beta-reading. Always the best! I asked for prompts recently and frassette asked for "Gus verse, parental rights, This is what I came up with. Hope you like.
Disclaimer: I own none of this - they belong to Showtime, Cowlip and others. I only play with them a little. Once I'm done, I'll dust them off and give them back.
More than kin and less than kind
A little more than kin, and less than kind - Hamlet
His eyes couldn’t quite meet his mother’s angry stare, so he fixed his gaze at one point beyond her shoulder. “I just think it’ll be easier for me, Ma.”
Gus had known that this decision would be hard for her.
He hadn’t quite expected this reaction, though.
“Living with your father? Well, of course it will.” He could hear the venom in her voice and he cringed inwardly. His parents had never gotten along but in all the years they’d raised him together, he’d never seen his mother like this. “Why would he make it harder? This is Brian, after all.”
Gus didn’t understand what that meant, but something in her tone, something that resonated in him about how she felt for him tore through all his walls, and with clenched teeth, he snapped. “I cannot stay here, Ma! Do you get that? Not where I found her. Not where all the memories of Mom exist. I can’t. And I don’t want to.”
He didn’t. He wanted to be at home. With his fathers and his little sister in the big house and away from everything that still made him feel like crawling under the covers.
Her face changed, softened some, and she stepped forward, stopping when he visibly flinched. “I know. I’m sorry, Gus. It’s just…this is where our family is.”
Gus raised an eyebrow at his mother, that anger always so close to the surface these days spilling over. “You left me alone! When I needed you, all you thought of was yourself!” He knew he wasn’t being fair. His mother had lost the love her life and she’d mourned. The loss she felt couldn’t be compared to anyone else’s except maybe his and JR’s. But he still hated her a little for closing down those first days and leaving him to drown. “Dad and DJ were there. They helped me. I want to be with them.”
Mel closed her eyes, squaring her shoulders, and he could see it in her face. The rejection she felt and her own temper flaring. “Fine, Gus. You go with your father. I’m sure he’s a better parent than me. Of course, I never gave you up like he did!”
The silence in the room was deafening.
Gus blinked at her, his fists clenching and unclenching at his side. “What?”
She looked shaken, as if she hadn’t meant to say that. “Oh, god, Gus, I didn’t mean - that wasn’t -“
“Dad gave me up?”
His heart crumpled a little and when his mother shook her head, hands reaching out, he backed away and hissed, “When?”
“Honey…”
“Tell me.”
“Gus, it’s not - it’s complicated and -“
“And - what? It shouldn’t matter now.”
“Gus.”
He turned on his heels, heading out the door into the night, ignoring his mother calling for him. His feet moved faster until he was running. Running from his thoughts, into nothing, letting the ache build in his chest, hearing the harsh breathing he realized was his own.
“Of course, I never gave you up like he did!”
It wasn’t true. His Dad loved him more than anyone. He would never have -
His feet wanted to carry him to that place of comfort that was home. He couldn’t go there, so he turned onto a familiar street. He needed someone who wouldn’t judge or ask questions. Who would just let him be.
He knew exactly who he wanted.
** -- ** -- **
“Your Dad gave you up?”
Gus nodded, his head held between his hands, glancing over at his best friend. “That’s what Ma said.”
Mark crossed his legs, brushing them against Gus’s shoulder, and for once Gus didn’t have to work at ignoring what Mark touching him made him feel. All he had room to think about was the fact that his Dad - the man he looked up to so much - hadn’t -
“Don’t even think it, Kinney.”
Gus glanced up and over, eyes meeting angry gray. “What?”
“Your Dad loves you. Trust me.”
There was that punch in the gut he always had when Mark let his guard down for just one moment, let Gus see all those things he refused to say. “Mark.”
Mark shook his head, waving away Gus’ concern and resting one hand on Gus’ head, threading fingers through his hair. Gus forced his eyes to remain open and choked back the sound that wanted to escape. “All I’m saying is if - if - this is at all true, your Dad must have had a reason.”
Gus leaned his chin on his crossed arms, sighing quietly. “I can’t think of one good enough.”
** -- ** -- **
It took him two movies, a round of Grand Theft XX, and two bags of Mark’s stow away cookies to gather the courage to go home.
The taxi dropped him off right in front of the house and he stood there for ten minutes, hand clenching and unclenching around the doorknob. He didn’t want to know and yet he had to.
He thought of his mother and fought the tears that swam in his vision. She would have told him the truth. She would have made it better.
Taking a deep breath, he twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open quietly.
His father’s voice wafted from the back of the house and he could hear the tension in it. He moved slowly over the length of the hall that led to the entrance of the kitchen. He paused at the door frame, his eyes falling to the pair that stood in the center, arms loosely around each other.
“What are you going to tell him?” Justin asked and his eyes fell to the defeated line of his father’s shoulders.
“I’ll tell him the truth.”
“As it was or as you see it?”
His father turned to look at Justin and must have caught sight of Gus, because he froze, turning to him. “Gus.”
He’d promised Mark and himself that he would be calm. That he would listen to what his Dad had to tell him. It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be.
That had been before. But now… he knew it was true. The haunted look in his father’s eyes, the guilt that filtered quickly over his face, it all meant the same thing.
Gus narrowed his eyes. “Why?”
He caught Justin moving slowly toward him. “Gus.”
“I didn’t ask you, DJ. I was asking my father.” He turned angry eyes toward his father. “Did you?”
Brian nodded. “Yes.”
It pierced right through the armor he’d been building all day, straight into his chest, and Gus felt the tears gather instantly. He pulled back when his father took a step forward, shaking his head. “Why?”
Brian held one hand out, mirroring Gus with a shake of his head. “It’s complicated, Gus.”
“Oh. Of course it is.” Gus felt his hands shaking, felt the anger and words and hate unfurl in his gut. He kept it all in check every day, learning to control what he couldn’t deal with. Suddenly, it was like popping a cork and the overflow spilled around him. “Babies get in the way of fucking and sucking, don’t they, Dad?” He spewed the last word out, wanting it out of his mouth as fast as possible. “Why the fuck would you have kids, huh? If you knew the kind of heartless bastard you were, why inflict that on me?”
His father actually flinched, and through the red haze that clouded his vision, through the tears that fell, he saw the pain he felt reflected in his father’s face. But he couldn’t stop now even if he wanted to. The words continued to spill out. He yelled at his father for not loving him enough. For never being there when he was growing up. Years of pent up resentment that even Gus hadn’t realized he’d felt punched loose.
“I never believed Ma when she would tell Mom that you weren’t capable of loving anyone. But she was right, wasn’t she? You gave me up, just like that!”
“That is enough, Gus!”
He jumped at hearing the anger in Justin’s voice, and he turned, his anger now directed at him. “Are you going to defend him, DJ?”
Justin breathed out as he spoke. “You don’t know the facts, Gus.”
The sound that left his mouth surprised him and he crossed his arms. “This should be fucking great. Tell me. Tell me about it. Excuse him. You can, of course.” Gus dug fingers into skin, rage humming under the surface. He turned back to his father. “Why didn’t you love me?”
“I have always loved you. You are my son.”
“Great way to show it, Dad," Gus’ eyes fell to the framed picture that hung on the wall and he laughed mirthlessly, “Is that why you wanted Ally so much, Dad? You wanted to make up for what you did?”
“Stop it right now, Gus.”
He whirled around at Justin, at his DJ, and screamed. “You are NOT my father!”
Justin’s face paled and he froze in place.
Tears started falling again as he turned back to his father, heard the words leave, and wanted to take them back as soon as he did. “How the fuck do you love her so much?! Is that a lie, too?! I’m your son!! She’s not even yours!!!”
It hung there in the air and then he heard it. Turned his head to meet Ally’s crumbling face, and as he took a step to her, she backed away, running toward the stairs.
“Jesus Christ.” He covered his face and when he looked back up, his fathers were still there.
Justin took a step forward. “Gus.”
He couldn’t take it. What the hell had he just said? What had he done?
He turned so quickly that neither one of his fathers knew what was happening until he was already out of the door and across the yard. He didn’t know where he was going but he couldn’t be there. There was no way he would survive their disappointment and DJ… DJ must have… oh, god, Ally.
He saw a familiar car driving slowly down the road and he ran to it. Mr. Becker, one of their neighbors, stepped out. “Gus, are you okay?”
“Mr. Becker, please. Just… can you take me to town? Please.” The words were broken through sobs, and when the older man hesitated, Gus started to move around him. He would hitchhike if he had to. He could hear his father yelling for him.
Mr. Becker paused for a moment, then nodded and opened the door for him. Gus watched as he went around the car, but instead of getting back in, he walked down the small driveway and disappeared behind the grove of trees that hid Britin. He was going to get his fathers. Gus started to get out of the car when he saw Mr. Becker come back up alone.
When he came back inside the car, he handed Gus his backpack, shifted the car into gear and started towards the Pitts. “Your Dad asked me to take you wherever you wanted.”
Gus breathed in, head hurting from all the crying and yelling, and when he spoke his voice was hoarse. “Thank you.”
Mr. Becker nodded, and quietly said, “He also said he loved you very much.”
The tears bubbled up again and Gus swallowed them down, fighting not to cry like he had when he’d been a kid and had wanted his Daddy, “Yeah.”
** -- ** -- **
“He does love you, Gus.”
It had been the first words Mark had spoken since Gus had climbed through his window and into his room. Mark had only looked at him, closed the window and held out his hand. Gus’ fingers had gripped Mark’s and he’d followed when Mark led them to his bed. Forcing Gus to sit, he’d locked his bedroom door and then crawled into bed, making sure Gus came with him. He’d covered them both with a comforter (one Gus was pretty sure his Dads had given Mark for his last birthday) and before Gus knew what was going on, his head was laying on Mark’s chest, a hand stroking through his hair.
That had been hours ago.
The room was dark and the only light came from the streetlamp outside Mark’s window.
Gus breathed deep.
“I know.”
Mark dropped a kiss on his head then continued to stroke it as he spoke. “Did you even ask him?”
Gus didn’t say anything.
“Gus…”
“He did it, Mark.”
It was silent for a long while until Mark whispered into Gus’ hair. “Even if he did, he still loves you. He’s your Dad, Gus.” Mark tightened his grip on Gus’ waist and said, “He fucked up. He’s human. It’s why you love him so much.”
Mark let the silence fall once more and Gus felt his eyes drooping, the warmth around him easing a lot of the pain. Gus snuggled closer, whispering into Mark’s skin and forgetting for a moment that he had just hurt three of the people he loved most in the world.
** -- ** -- **
He knocked loudly on the door, glancing behind and waving at Mark’s sister. She and Mark waved back and the car sped off.
Waking up that morning, Gus knew he couldn’t face going to school and he couldn’t go back to his parents yet, so that left only one place for him.
The Novotny Home for Lost Boys.
The door opened and Carl blinked at him. His face creased in worry, then relaxed, and he smiled gently, gripping Gus’ shoulder. “Hey, kiddo, come on in. We were hoping you’d show up today.” He pulled Gus into the warmth of the house, and for the first time since he’d yelled at his fathers and run away, he breathed in. The smell filled him with love. This was the closest to a childhood home he had. All the times he’d spent here, Before Canada and After Canada, had always been good.
“You little asshole, where the fuck have you been?”
It was all he heard before he was enveloped in his grandmother’s arms and held tightly until he couldn’t really breathe.
“Gammy…” Gus patted her back a few times, wiggling out of her grasp and trying to suck in air at the same time. “I’m fine.”
“Oh, well, then no problem. The fact that you scared the shit out of me, your mother, your fathers and your sisters, not to mention your uncles…”
“And your Auntie Em.”
Gus turned as he felt warm hands on his shoulders and instinctively wrapped his arms around Emmett. He loved his Auntie Em. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled into the silk of Emmett’s robe.
“Baby, we were worried. You could have at least called.”
Gus nodded into the silk and pulled back to say, “I stayed with Mark.”
His grandmother smoothed one hand down his hair. “That’s what your Dad figured when you didn’t show up here. But, sweetie, next time please call.”
Carl walked into the room with a large mug, handing it to Gus. “Or face page or tweak or whatever it is you kids do now.”
Gus snorted, taking a sip of the hot chocolate and letting his Auntie Emmett lead him to the couch. “Really, Grampa Carl? Tweak?”
He settled into the couch, listening to his grandmother lecture him about not fucking up the way he had and how much his parents loved him. When her threats of bodily harm if he didn’t listen started, his eyes drooped shut and everything went silent.
** -- ** -- **
When he woke up, he was in his Uncle Michael’s old room, which was now the guest room. He’d been so tired, even after sleeping, and everything seemed to have caught up with him. He stuttered a breath in and then felt a hand on his back.
“Gus.”
He shut his eyes and sighed.
“Hi, Dad,” he managed to say past the lump in his throat.
They were silent, and as the minutes ticked by and his Dad didn’t say anything, Gus started to worry that he had really screwed up. That his Dad was so mad -
“I didn’t want to give away my rights, Gus.”
He waited for more and was surprised when he felt the mattress dip under his Dad’s weight. A warm hand on his shoulder and then his Dad was talking again.
“Before you were born, when your Moms and I - well, more like when Lindsay and I agreed and Mel had to suck it up - we made a deal. Mel wanted to have equal rights to you because she, in every sense, was going to be your other parent. So the plan was always to do that.”
Brian took a deep breath and Gus held his own as he listened.
“Then, you were there. I saw you. This little person and - I didn’t think I’d feel that way, Gus. I didn’t know I would you love like I did. So when the time came, I couldn’t do it. I didn’t sign my rights away.”
Gus blinked in confusion until he heard a second voice say, “Except when he did because it was the only way for you to get the life you deserved. The one he didn’t think he could give you.”
Gus and Brian both turned to look at the door, at Justin standing there, arms crossed, expression slightly dark.
“Justin.”
“No, I know you, Brian. You won’t tell him everything because you still think you can’t do this.”
Gus sat up and glanced between his fathers, gaze finally landing on Justin. “Won’t tell me what, DJ?”
“I’m not going into details because it was a long time ago and it was between your mothers…”
Gus watched his Dad cover his face with a hand and sigh into it.
“They were having problems at the time. Mostly because Mel can be a little - selfish at times, but you didn’t hear me say that.”
Gus tried not to smile. No shit his Ma was selfish. But really, coming from his fathers, that was kettle-pot area.
“Long story short - to save their relationship - and to make sure you grew up with loving parents that gave you everything - your Dad gave you up. So that Mel could have you,” Justin looked at Gus, smiling softly, “He did it for you.”
“Is that true, Dad?”
When his father didn’t answer, Gus knew it was, and he threw both arms around him, apologizing for what he had said.
“It’s okay, Sonnyboy, sometimes you can be a princess. You take after Justin that way.”
There was a snort from Justin’s direction and Gus glanced at him. “DJ, I didn’t mean it when I said -"
“I know you didn’t, Gus.”
He ran to Justin, hugging him around his middle, and whispered, “I do love you, Daddy.”
Justin’s arms wrapped around him and he felt a kiss on his head. “Right back at you, kid.”
He looked up to see his fathers sharing that look they always did. The one reserved for him and Al and each other.
Sighing as he pulled away, he glanced at them both.
“Can we go home?”
His father nodded. “Yeah, I think someone there wants to see you.”
Gus knew he had a lot to make up for with Al. She was so going to take advantage of it and that thought made him smile.
Then, raising one eyebrow, his father smirked at him. “And there’s the little thing about your grounding…”
Gus groaned, then smiled, “Can you do that? I mean, you know, no parental rights and all…”
Justin laughed, easing the tension as he grabbed Gus for another hug. “He got those back a long time ago, kid. You’re shit out of luck."
Gus shrugged.
He didn’t mind that at all.
Lex. I don't know if this was what you wanted but it's what came out. :)
On to the next prompt. Which I've been working on and am totally going to finish. I'm sorry, baby. :)
Author: freakykat
Time Frame: post 513 - future fic
Series/Sequel: Part of Gus series/Set before "By Any Other Name"
Summary: Gus learns something about his father.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Angsty
Notes: Thanks to wouldbedorothy for beta-reading. Always the best! I asked for prompts recently and frassette asked for "Gus verse, parental rights, This is what I came up with. Hope you like.
Disclaimer: I own none of this - they belong to Showtime, Cowlip and others. I only play with them a little. Once I'm done, I'll dust them off and give them back.
More than kin and less than kind
A little more than kin, and less than kind - Hamlet
His eyes couldn’t quite meet his mother’s angry stare, so he fixed his gaze at one point beyond her shoulder. “I just think it’ll be easier for me, Ma.”
Gus had known that this decision would be hard for her.
He hadn’t quite expected this reaction, though.
“Living with your father? Well, of course it will.” He could hear the venom in her voice and he cringed inwardly. His parents had never gotten along but in all the years they’d raised him together, he’d never seen his mother like this. “Why would he make it harder? This is Brian, after all.”
Gus didn’t understand what that meant, but something in her tone, something that resonated in him about how she felt for him tore through all his walls, and with clenched teeth, he snapped. “I cannot stay here, Ma! Do you get that? Not where I found her. Not where all the memories of Mom exist. I can’t. And I don’t want to.”
He didn’t. He wanted to be at home. With his fathers and his little sister in the big house and away from everything that still made him feel like crawling under the covers.
Her face changed, softened some, and she stepped forward, stopping when he visibly flinched. “I know. I’m sorry, Gus. It’s just…this is where our family is.”
Gus raised an eyebrow at his mother, that anger always so close to the surface these days spilling over. “You left me alone! When I needed you, all you thought of was yourself!” He knew he wasn’t being fair. His mother had lost the love her life and she’d mourned. The loss she felt couldn’t be compared to anyone else’s except maybe his and JR’s. But he still hated her a little for closing down those first days and leaving him to drown. “Dad and DJ were there. They helped me. I want to be with them.”
Mel closed her eyes, squaring her shoulders, and he could see it in her face. The rejection she felt and her own temper flaring. “Fine, Gus. You go with your father. I’m sure he’s a better parent than me. Of course, I never gave you up like he did!”
The silence in the room was deafening.
Gus blinked at her, his fists clenching and unclenching at his side. “What?”
She looked shaken, as if she hadn’t meant to say that. “Oh, god, Gus, I didn’t mean - that wasn’t -“
“Dad gave me up?”
His heart crumpled a little and when his mother shook her head, hands reaching out, he backed away and hissed, “When?”
“Honey…”
“Tell me.”
“Gus, it’s not - it’s complicated and -“
“And - what? It shouldn’t matter now.”
“Gus.”
He turned on his heels, heading out the door into the night, ignoring his mother calling for him. His feet moved faster until he was running. Running from his thoughts, into nothing, letting the ache build in his chest, hearing the harsh breathing he realized was his own.
“Of course, I never gave you up like he did!”
It wasn’t true. His Dad loved him more than anyone. He would never have -
His feet wanted to carry him to that place of comfort that was home. He couldn’t go there, so he turned onto a familiar street. He needed someone who wouldn’t judge or ask questions. Who would just let him be.
He knew exactly who he wanted.
** -- ** -- **
“Your Dad gave you up?”
Gus nodded, his head held between his hands, glancing over at his best friend. “That’s what Ma said.”
Mark crossed his legs, brushing them against Gus’s shoulder, and for once Gus didn’t have to work at ignoring what Mark touching him made him feel. All he had room to think about was the fact that his Dad - the man he looked up to so much - hadn’t -
“Don’t even think it, Kinney.”
Gus glanced up and over, eyes meeting angry gray. “What?”
“Your Dad loves you. Trust me.”
There was that punch in the gut he always had when Mark let his guard down for just one moment, let Gus see all those things he refused to say. “Mark.”
Mark shook his head, waving away Gus’ concern and resting one hand on Gus’ head, threading fingers through his hair. Gus forced his eyes to remain open and choked back the sound that wanted to escape. “All I’m saying is if - if - this is at all true, your Dad must have had a reason.”
Gus leaned his chin on his crossed arms, sighing quietly. “I can’t think of one good enough.”
** -- ** -- **
It took him two movies, a round of Grand Theft XX, and two bags of Mark’s stow away cookies to gather the courage to go home.
The taxi dropped him off right in front of the house and he stood there for ten minutes, hand clenching and unclenching around the doorknob. He didn’t want to know and yet he had to.
He thought of his mother and fought the tears that swam in his vision. She would have told him the truth. She would have made it better.
Taking a deep breath, he twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open quietly.
His father’s voice wafted from the back of the house and he could hear the tension in it. He moved slowly over the length of the hall that led to the entrance of the kitchen. He paused at the door frame, his eyes falling to the pair that stood in the center, arms loosely around each other.
“What are you going to tell him?” Justin asked and his eyes fell to the defeated line of his father’s shoulders.
“I’ll tell him the truth.”
“As it was or as you see it?”
His father turned to look at Justin and must have caught sight of Gus, because he froze, turning to him. “Gus.”
He’d promised Mark and himself that he would be calm. That he would listen to what his Dad had to tell him. It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be.
That had been before. But now… he knew it was true. The haunted look in his father’s eyes, the guilt that filtered quickly over his face, it all meant the same thing.
Gus narrowed his eyes. “Why?”
He caught Justin moving slowly toward him. “Gus.”
“I didn’t ask you, DJ. I was asking my father.” He turned angry eyes toward his father. “Did you?”
Brian nodded. “Yes.”
It pierced right through the armor he’d been building all day, straight into his chest, and Gus felt the tears gather instantly. He pulled back when his father took a step forward, shaking his head. “Why?”
Brian held one hand out, mirroring Gus with a shake of his head. “It’s complicated, Gus.”
“Oh. Of course it is.” Gus felt his hands shaking, felt the anger and words and hate unfurl in his gut. He kept it all in check every day, learning to control what he couldn’t deal with. Suddenly, it was like popping a cork and the overflow spilled around him. “Babies get in the way of fucking and sucking, don’t they, Dad?” He spewed the last word out, wanting it out of his mouth as fast as possible. “Why the fuck would you have kids, huh? If you knew the kind of heartless bastard you were, why inflict that on me?”
His father actually flinched, and through the red haze that clouded his vision, through the tears that fell, he saw the pain he felt reflected in his father’s face. But he couldn’t stop now even if he wanted to. The words continued to spill out. He yelled at his father for not loving him enough. For never being there when he was growing up. Years of pent up resentment that even Gus hadn’t realized he’d felt punched loose.
“I never believed Ma when she would tell Mom that you weren’t capable of loving anyone. But she was right, wasn’t she? You gave me up, just like that!”
“That is enough, Gus!”
He jumped at hearing the anger in Justin’s voice, and he turned, his anger now directed at him. “Are you going to defend him, DJ?”
Justin breathed out as he spoke. “You don’t know the facts, Gus.”
The sound that left his mouth surprised him and he crossed his arms. “This should be fucking great. Tell me. Tell me about it. Excuse him. You can, of course.” Gus dug fingers into skin, rage humming under the surface. He turned back to his father. “Why didn’t you love me?”
“I have always loved you. You are my son.”
“Great way to show it, Dad," Gus’ eyes fell to the framed picture that hung on the wall and he laughed mirthlessly, “Is that why you wanted Ally so much, Dad? You wanted to make up for what you did?”
“Stop it right now, Gus.”
He whirled around at Justin, at his DJ, and screamed. “You are NOT my father!”
Justin’s face paled and he froze in place.
Tears started falling again as he turned back to his father, heard the words leave, and wanted to take them back as soon as he did. “How the fuck do you love her so much?! Is that a lie, too?! I’m your son!! She’s not even yours!!!”
It hung there in the air and then he heard it. Turned his head to meet Ally’s crumbling face, and as he took a step to her, she backed away, running toward the stairs.
“Jesus Christ.” He covered his face and when he looked back up, his fathers were still there.
Justin took a step forward. “Gus.”
He couldn’t take it. What the hell had he just said? What had he done?
He turned so quickly that neither one of his fathers knew what was happening until he was already out of the door and across the yard. He didn’t know where he was going but he couldn’t be there. There was no way he would survive their disappointment and DJ… DJ must have… oh, god, Ally.
He saw a familiar car driving slowly down the road and he ran to it. Mr. Becker, one of their neighbors, stepped out. “Gus, are you okay?”
“Mr. Becker, please. Just… can you take me to town? Please.” The words were broken through sobs, and when the older man hesitated, Gus started to move around him. He would hitchhike if he had to. He could hear his father yelling for him.
Mr. Becker paused for a moment, then nodded and opened the door for him. Gus watched as he went around the car, but instead of getting back in, he walked down the small driveway and disappeared behind the grove of trees that hid Britin. He was going to get his fathers. Gus started to get out of the car when he saw Mr. Becker come back up alone.
When he came back inside the car, he handed Gus his backpack, shifted the car into gear and started towards the Pitts. “Your Dad asked me to take you wherever you wanted.”
Gus breathed in, head hurting from all the crying and yelling, and when he spoke his voice was hoarse. “Thank you.”
Mr. Becker nodded, and quietly said, “He also said he loved you very much.”
The tears bubbled up again and Gus swallowed them down, fighting not to cry like he had when he’d been a kid and had wanted his Daddy, “Yeah.”
** -- ** -- **
“He does love you, Gus.”
It had been the first words Mark had spoken since Gus had climbed through his window and into his room. Mark had only looked at him, closed the window and held out his hand. Gus’ fingers had gripped Mark’s and he’d followed when Mark led them to his bed. Forcing Gus to sit, he’d locked his bedroom door and then crawled into bed, making sure Gus came with him. He’d covered them both with a comforter (one Gus was pretty sure his Dads had given Mark for his last birthday) and before Gus knew what was going on, his head was laying on Mark’s chest, a hand stroking through his hair.
That had been hours ago.
The room was dark and the only light came from the streetlamp outside Mark’s window.
Gus breathed deep.
“I know.”
Mark dropped a kiss on his head then continued to stroke it as he spoke. “Did you even ask him?”
Gus didn’t say anything.
“Gus…”
“He did it, Mark.”
It was silent for a long while until Mark whispered into Gus’ hair. “Even if he did, he still loves you. He’s your Dad, Gus.” Mark tightened his grip on Gus’ waist and said, “He fucked up. He’s human. It’s why you love him so much.”
Mark let the silence fall once more and Gus felt his eyes drooping, the warmth around him easing a lot of the pain. Gus snuggled closer, whispering into Mark’s skin and forgetting for a moment that he had just hurt three of the people he loved most in the world.
** -- ** -- **
He knocked loudly on the door, glancing behind and waving at Mark’s sister. She and Mark waved back and the car sped off.
Waking up that morning, Gus knew he couldn’t face going to school and he couldn’t go back to his parents yet, so that left only one place for him.
The Novotny Home for Lost Boys.
The door opened and Carl blinked at him. His face creased in worry, then relaxed, and he smiled gently, gripping Gus’ shoulder. “Hey, kiddo, come on in. We were hoping you’d show up today.” He pulled Gus into the warmth of the house, and for the first time since he’d yelled at his fathers and run away, he breathed in. The smell filled him with love. This was the closest to a childhood home he had. All the times he’d spent here, Before Canada and After Canada, had always been good.
“You little asshole, where the fuck have you been?”
It was all he heard before he was enveloped in his grandmother’s arms and held tightly until he couldn’t really breathe.
“Gammy…” Gus patted her back a few times, wiggling out of her grasp and trying to suck in air at the same time. “I’m fine.”
“Oh, well, then no problem. The fact that you scared the shit out of me, your mother, your fathers and your sisters, not to mention your uncles…”
“And your Auntie Em.”
Gus turned as he felt warm hands on his shoulders and instinctively wrapped his arms around Emmett. He loved his Auntie Em. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled into the silk of Emmett’s robe.
“Baby, we were worried. You could have at least called.”
Gus nodded into the silk and pulled back to say, “I stayed with Mark.”
His grandmother smoothed one hand down his hair. “That’s what your Dad figured when you didn’t show up here. But, sweetie, next time please call.”
Carl walked into the room with a large mug, handing it to Gus. “Or face page or tweak or whatever it is you kids do now.”
Gus snorted, taking a sip of the hot chocolate and letting his Auntie Emmett lead him to the couch. “Really, Grampa Carl? Tweak?”
He settled into the couch, listening to his grandmother lecture him about not fucking up the way he had and how much his parents loved him. When her threats of bodily harm if he didn’t listen started, his eyes drooped shut and everything went silent.
** -- ** -- **
When he woke up, he was in his Uncle Michael’s old room, which was now the guest room. He’d been so tired, even after sleeping, and everything seemed to have caught up with him. He stuttered a breath in and then felt a hand on his back.
“Gus.”
He shut his eyes and sighed.
“Hi, Dad,” he managed to say past the lump in his throat.
They were silent, and as the minutes ticked by and his Dad didn’t say anything, Gus started to worry that he had really screwed up. That his Dad was so mad -
“I didn’t want to give away my rights, Gus.”
He waited for more and was surprised when he felt the mattress dip under his Dad’s weight. A warm hand on his shoulder and then his Dad was talking again.
“Before you were born, when your Moms and I - well, more like when Lindsay and I agreed and Mel had to suck it up - we made a deal. Mel wanted to have equal rights to you because she, in every sense, was going to be your other parent. So the plan was always to do that.”
Brian took a deep breath and Gus held his own as he listened.
“Then, you were there. I saw you. This little person and - I didn’t think I’d feel that way, Gus. I didn’t know I would you love like I did. So when the time came, I couldn’t do it. I didn’t sign my rights away.”
Gus blinked in confusion until he heard a second voice say, “Except when he did because it was the only way for you to get the life you deserved. The one he didn’t think he could give you.”
Gus and Brian both turned to look at the door, at Justin standing there, arms crossed, expression slightly dark.
“Justin.”
“No, I know you, Brian. You won’t tell him everything because you still think you can’t do this.”
Gus sat up and glanced between his fathers, gaze finally landing on Justin. “Won’t tell me what, DJ?”
“I’m not going into details because it was a long time ago and it was between your mothers…”
Gus watched his Dad cover his face with a hand and sigh into it.
“They were having problems at the time. Mostly because Mel can be a little - selfish at times, but you didn’t hear me say that.”
Gus tried not to smile. No shit his Ma was selfish. But really, coming from his fathers, that was kettle-pot area.
“Long story short - to save their relationship - and to make sure you grew up with loving parents that gave you everything - your Dad gave you up. So that Mel could have you,” Justin looked at Gus, smiling softly, “He did it for you.”
“Is that true, Dad?”
When his father didn’t answer, Gus knew it was, and he threw both arms around him, apologizing for what he had said.
“It’s okay, Sonnyboy, sometimes you can be a princess. You take after Justin that way.”
There was a snort from Justin’s direction and Gus glanced at him. “DJ, I didn’t mean it when I said -"
“I know you didn’t, Gus.”
He ran to Justin, hugging him around his middle, and whispered, “I do love you, Daddy.”
Justin’s arms wrapped around him and he felt a kiss on his head. “Right back at you, kid.”
He looked up to see his fathers sharing that look they always did. The one reserved for him and Al and each other.
Sighing as he pulled away, he glanced at them both.
“Can we go home?”
His father nodded. “Yeah, I think someone there wants to see you.”
Gus knew he had a lot to make up for with Al. She was so going to take advantage of it and that thought made him smile.
Then, raising one eyebrow, his father smirked at him. “And there’s the little thing about your grounding…”
Gus groaned, then smiled, “Can you do that? I mean, you know, no parental rights and all…”
Justin laughed, easing the tension as he grabbed Gus for another hug. “He got those back a long time ago, kid. You’re shit out of luck."
Gus shrugged.
He didn’t mind that at all.
Lex. I don't know if this was what you wanted but it's what came out. :)
On to the next prompt. Which I've been working on and am totally going to finish. I'm sorry, baby. :)