Dec 09, 2004 11:31
well its happened.. i knew it was coming it was coming.. it was just a matter of time. me and dan decided to ake a break yesterdae morning.. maybe it is best for us.. tho i dont knoe if the break will ever end and that is what scares me most.. i knoe i have to call him and tlk to him but i cant do that, or at least i need to wait a while before i do. i stayed over teddy's last nite caus ei had nowhere to go and i woke up late and missed werk todae. whatever i am just goin to go in tomorroe and tell them i cant werk there anymore and go and live with my mother. i'll prolly get a job there and save money til i can move out and move soeplace far far away. me n kelsy were ahavin a convo yesterday which made me relize how fuct i am.. i am so relationshipally challenged it makes me cringe. i finally find something good but i have to find someway to fuck it up because i knoe that im just gon aget hurt in the end so i think that getting the hurt over with will make it okae? i dont knoe just somethig along those lines i guess. dan thinks that i should still move in after the 2 weeks is up.. i cant do that! that will not make everything better.. i need to just figuerew out how to be myself again. i think that if the break does end then maybe i should jusdt stay with my mother for a while.. maybe it is better for us not to see each other everyday. then maybe it will make the time that we do have together better.. i dont knoe.. i just got off the fone with mikey.. i guess im gonna go stay in NY for a bit with him.. leave tomorroe after i do all the bullshit i have to do then take of to NYC. should be fun. help me take my mind offa things ya knoe. that kinda stuff.. well im out for now kidds. peace n beatz