5 dollar for your thoughts? Special price!!
I don't get why Ali comes in here complaining about how boring revision is, and how she doesn't want to do it, but then complains about how little time there is til exams start. Its now 9 days until my 1st exam, revision for which is finished. Which means its 17 days til my 1st Special Subject exam, and 18 days til my last exam. And given I'm now working 3 days a week instead of 2, that only gives me a total of 4 days a week to revise. Which is nowhere near enough, but I need the money from work. Vicious circle. Whereas what does Ali do with her time? Oh let me think........ NOTHING. She has no job, all she does is watch TV, complain about revision, complain about the washing up, eat and see David (totally different subject there - don't even get me started on him). So she has no reason whatsoever to complain about having got no work done. It's hardly like shes been working flat out this last term anyway. Admittedly she had her Sabbatical campaign, I'll give her that one, but for 3 months she complained about how far behind she was with all her essays and commentaries etc, almost like it was something to be proud of, like it was some kinda record. Its pathetic. We all have issues, we all have to get extensions on deadlines and stuff sometimes. But if we get extensions we then actually do the work, not bitch about it. Its just driving me mad, she wants the 2.1 but is nowhere near enough prepared to put the work into it. I've worked my arse off to get this far. It pisses me off when she comes in here complaining, when I'm trying to fucking work. God knows if shes even done any revision. I admit I should have done more by now, but at least I've got a big bit done with Museums and Heritage being finished. just gotta tackle the Civil War *sigh* One last push before real life descends like a bucket of icy water.............
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Sometimes I wonder if I try too hard in my life. Too hard to try and be clever with uni stuff when half the time I'm not entirely sure what I'm talking about. Too hard to fit in with people so that they like me and accept me for who I am. Too hard with the opposite/same sex. Uni, in essence, will all b solved in less than 3 weeks time. 18 days. So for 18 days more I will just have to put up with feeling like I'm not good enough, not clever enough, not hard-working enough. Then I just wait for the results of 3 years and £12,000 of debt, to see if it was worth it. As for fitting in with people.......... I've got some damn good mates. Me and Kate are on the same level, I get on well with Julie and Liv (although shes in America for 6 weeks now :( She went Sunday), Vicki has become a much better friend than I ever imagined, as has Laura I guess. And I will always have my baby Dan, I miss him so much. But all these people just accept me for who I am, pretty much. Probably because I feel I can be myself around them more than a lot of other people. Sometimes I get the feeling some people (mentioning no names) just judge me, find me a bit odd. I dunno. You know when you just dont quite fit somehow? I've said it before, but sometimes, with certain people, I just feel like the last piece of the puzzle that doesnt quite fit no matter how much you try and force it into the gap. As for the opposite/same sex thing - ergh. There is far too much to even consider there. I even created myself a profile on Gaydar Girls (this_is_she, in case anyone could do with a laugh). Me and Laura leave each other random msgs hahaha
I dunno. I just feel, pretty much as usual, unsatisfied with my life somehow. Its not like its come as a brand new revelation to me that probably I will always feel like this, to a greater or lesser degree. That's life I guess. There have been times when I've felt like I didnt have a care in the world. But they are usually swiftly replaced by something drastic, followed eventually by this feeling of unsatisfaction. I dunno. Its hard to explain I guess
I should probably go to bed. Got loads more revision tomorrow, which I HAVE to get up early (ie. before midday) to get cracking on, gotta clean this goddamn house before it drives me mad (and before my Mum visits on Thursday......... the two incidents are categorically NOT related....... *cough*), in short, got far too much of everything to do
And if I'm in bed, I won't b typing bollocks like this, so it will be a relief for everyone, including me
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Sometimes I wonder if I try too hard in my life. Too hard to try and be clever with uni stuff when half the time I'm not entirely sure what I'm talking about. Too hard to fit in with people so that they like me and accept me for who I am. Too hard with the opposite/same sex. Uni, in essence, will all b solved in less than 3 weeks time. 18 days. So for 18 days more I will just have to put up with feeling like I'm not good enough, not clever enough, not hard-working enough. Then I just wait for the results of 3 years and £12,000 of debt, to see if it was worth it. As for fitting in with people.......... I've got some damn good mates. Me and Kate are on the same level, I get on well with Julie and Liv (although shes in America for 6 weeks now :( She went Sunday), Vicki has become a much better friend than I ever imagined, as has Laura I guess. And I will always have my baby Dan, I miss him so much. But all these people just accept me for who I am, pretty much. Probably because I feel I can be myself around them more than a lot of other people. Sometimes I get the feeling some people (mentioning no names) just judge me, find me a bit odd. I dunno. You know when you just dont quite fit somehow? I've said it before, but sometimes, with certain people, I just feel like the last piece of the puzzle that doesnt quite fit no matter how much you try and force it into the gap. As for the opposite/same sex thing - ergh. There is far too much to even consider there. I even created myself a profile on Gaydar Girls (this_is_she, in case anyone could do with a laugh). Me and Laura leave each other random msgs hahaha
I dunno. I just feel, pretty much as usual, unsatisfied with my life somehow. Its not like its come as a brand new revelation to me that probably I will always feel like this, to a greater or lesser degree. That's life I guess. There have been times when I've felt like I didnt have a care in the world. But they are usually swiftly replaced by something drastic, followed eventually by this feeling of unsatisfaction. I dunno. Its hard to explain I guess
I should probably go to bed. Got loads more revision tomorrow, which I HAVE to get up early (ie. before midday) to get cracking on, gotta clean this goddamn house before it drives me mad (and before my Mum visits on Thursday......... the two incidents are categorically NOT related....... *cough*), in short, got far too much of everything to do
And if I'm in bed, I won't b typing bollocks like this, so it will be a relief for everyone, including me