sick
I make myself sick. I think my whole generation makes me sick. There must be something fundamentally wrong with the turn the world has taken. I am so sicl of apathy. I am so sick of impotence. Why don't we have any power, any drive to change things? Why does everything have to be so fucked up there is no fixing it, just slowing it down? Just not adding to it? What kind of world it that? It makes me want to puke until I feel clean again. Until the poison of inaction, of no options, of hopeless leaves me.
I don't want or mean to sound like a whiny baby, but why does life have to be so hard? Why does it have to test your resolve every second, shoving in your face the injustice and the pollution and the general unfixability of the world? Why do the powerful masses have to be ignorant and judgmental? How is it that anyone feels like they can claim what was and what was not a choice in someone else's life? Why does rape seem like a viable power play in war times? How is war ever really the answer without turing into genocide and just eradicating the question? How, in the name of all that is right, are we still dependent on fossil fuels and plastic? How is this throw-away culture still reigning? It is has gone so far that we consider people throw aways. How did we find ourselves in this place?
I cannot for my life understand. I can't understand how we got here. I have no clue how we will get out of this pit. I feel locked in. I feel hopeless and powerless. And I am sick of having to rely on apathy just to face the next day, waking up in a world that seems bleak and unchanging and unjust.
Maybe I should try to focus on the little victories. Maybe that should be enough.
I don't want or mean to sound like a whiny baby, but why does life have to be so hard? Why does it have to test your resolve every second, shoving in your face the injustice and the pollution and the general unfixability of the world? Why do the powerful masses have to be ignorant and judgmental? How is it that anyone feels like they can claim what was and what was not a choice in someone else's life? Why does rape seem like a viable power play in war times? How is war ever really the answer without turing into genocide and just eradicating the question? How, in the name of all that is right, are we still dependent on fossil fuels and plastic? How is this throw-away culture still reigning? It is has gone so far that we consider people throw aways. How did we find ourselves in this place?
I cannot for my life understand. I can't understand how we got here. I have no clue how we will get out of this pit. I feel locked in. I feel hopeless and powerless. And I am sick of having to rely on apathy just to face the next day, waking up in a world that seems bleak and unchanging and unjust.
Maybe I should try to focus on the little victories. Maybe that should be enough.