Adoption
There is a girl I know who is gushing about adoption, and how she and her partner are really looking forward to it, and how they are going to adopt from overseas if they can, and how adoption is omg the best thing ever. I am really struggling with keeping my mouth shut, as I have Opinions. Its really hard to communicate about adoption for me. It seems like, as an adoptee, there is no way for me to speak out against our cultures ideas of adoption without sounding hateful. There is also a lot of lashback against adoptees that speak out against adoption as it is now in our culture. Sometimes adoption is a wonderful thing, it creates families and provides safe, loving homes which is what children deserve. Sometimes it is an awful thing, and destroys lives. Even in best case situations there is loss, and grief, and in almost all adoptees I know, a pretty hefty dose of shame and/or rage. That is even without getting into the loss of cultural heritage that comes with over seas or rescue adoptions. I am trying to think of a polite and acceptable way, the next time she is talking about "getting her babies", to express that rather then researching cute pics and tax breaks they might want to take some time and research genetic mirroring, the higher rates of depression and other mood disorders among adoptees, how to anticipate and best deal with those issues, and how coercion is still a thing that happens. Is there a constructive way to talk about adoption without making it sound (mistakenly) like I think its always a bad thing? Its not really my business I guess, but education is important. A baby isn't a clean slate, and deserves more consideration.