(no subject)
Washington, DC (AB)-- After a surprise ruling by the Senate today, Florida has been officially named the most important State of the Union. Senators Bill Nelson and Bob Graham rejoiced as Florida, with 48 votes, beat Texas, Rhode Island, California, and New York, which had 21, 20, 5, and 4 votes respectively. "What can I say? Our state just isn't good enough. You can't win them all. I wish the best of luck to Florida," Senator Hutchinson of Texas said after the voting. Senator Phil Gramm was unavailable for questioning. Sources say he was in a drunken stupor.
Minnesota received two votes, but no one admitted to voting for the state. It is widely believed that they were actually Rhode Island votes that were thrown off by the now-infamous "Microsoft Ballot."
It has been said that Texas may now try to break away from the Union and join Mexico. It appears that Texas would have a unanimous vote in the senate if it wanted to leave, but problems seem to be arising with Mexico. When asked, President Vincente Fox answered "Wee don't want no steenkin lazy Americanos here. We has enof jumping zee border efry day. Weef eenstalled fence across zee border to try and keep them owt. Za last theeng we need is anothar veinte million of zem. Viva la Revalucion!" At this point, he started shooting in to the crowd, seemingly playing some crazy game that involved shooting women and children in the streets. The vice president had 220 points, the president won with 250.
Minnesota received two votes, but no one admitted to voting for the state. It is widely believed that they were actually Rhode Island votes that were thrown off by the now-infamous "Microsoft Ballot."
It has been said that Texas may now try to break away from the Union and join Mexico. It appears that Texas would have a unanimous vote in the senate if it wanted to leave, but problems seem to be arising with Mexico. When asked, President Vincente Fox answered "Wee don't want no steenkin lazy Americanos here. We has enof jumping zee border efry day. Weef eenstalled fence across zee border to try and keep them owt. Za last theeng we need is anothar veinte million of zem. Viva la Revalucion!" At this point, he started shooting in to the crowd, seemingly playing some crazy game that involved shooting women and children in the streets. The vice president had 220 points, the president won with 250.