(no subject)
Does everything really happen for a reason? Does that automatically imply some sort of higher power having control over our lives as if we were marionettes? Regardless, I'm starting to question my own belief system because the current one just got the shit kicked out of it.And instead of having a violent and devastating response, I'm actually okay with it. I feel as if this is a sign of progress in my life, that amidst writing three research papers and cramming for a exam for finals I can still have crazy epiphanies on the meanings of life.
There's that knot in my stomach forming though, and it's because the 'strong independent personality' side of me refuses to be subdued. Because the epiphany came from someone else, and the only reason it feels okay is that for once I actually have support in it. But that's just not acceptable to any Sorensen woman since we have to do everything on our own. Or to a number of people sucked into the capitalistic train of thought, especially here on such a high strung campus where professors encourage original ideas because anything else is way to close to plagiarism (but then they dock you if the idea is too outrageous or "original," go figure). I wonder what would happen if we ripped all the clocks from the wall and didn't have worry about a deadline, would inspirations come easier or would nothing get done?
I guess it's the same argument as 'should we take away grades,' but that seems so cliche. It's amazing to think, if anyone has read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, the numbers that tell us what time it is were created by humans. Ipso-facto, time and its measurement is a product of humans. Other than humans, what other species cares about the passage of time? They have instincts which guide them to migrating, mating and all that jazz, but it's not a conscious thought. Yeah sure there's the argument against that since animals technically don't have a conscious on the same level as humans, but the argument goes deeper than that. If God or whoever gave us the high level of awareness that we have...ah do I even begin to go into the ramble about why/what the motivations are behind it? Oh yeah, I'm agnostic which means I don't have the mental capacity to understand that train of thought. I'll have to hide behind that bullshit excuse for now because being a slave to time means that I must get this paper done before tomorrow.
Am I in love? Nope.
Am I capable of it at this point? Yup, and it feels wonderful.
Will I? Probably not. ;-)
There's that knot in my stomach forming though, and it's because the 'strong independent personality' side of me refuses to be subdued. Because the epiphany came from someone else, and the only reason it feels okay is that for once I actually have support in it. But that's just not acceptable to any Sorensen woman since we have to do everything on our own. Or to a number of people sucked into the capitalistic train of thought, especially here on such a high strung campus where professors encourage original ideas because anything else is way to close to plagiarism (but then they dock you if the idea is too outrageous or "original," go figure). I wonder what would happen if we ripped all the clocks from the wall and didn't have worry about a deadline, would inspirations come easier or would nothing get done?
I guess it's the same argument as 'should we take away grades,' but that seems so cliche. It's amazing to think, if anyone has read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, the numbers that tell us what time it is were created by humans. Ipso-facto, time and its measurement is a product of humans. Other than humans, what other species cares about the passage of time? They have instincts which guide them to migrating, mating and all that jazz, but it's not a conscious thought. Yeah sure there's the argument against that since animals technically don't have a conscious on the same level as humans, but the argument goes deeper than that. If God or whoever gave us the high level of awareness that we have...ah do I even begin to go into the ramble about why/what the motivations are behind it? Oh yeah, I'm agnostic which means I don't have the mental capacity to understand that train of thought. I'll have to hide behind that bullshit excuse for now because being a slave to time means that I must get this paper done before tomorrow.
Am I in love? Nope.
Am I capable of it at this point? Yup, and it feels wonderful.
Will I? Probably not. ;-)