Fic: Five Times Keith Has Gone (or Will Go) To Dan's Place, In No Particular Order
Title: Five Times Keith Has Gone (or Will Go) To Dan's Place, In No Particular Order
Author: Lunaris
Fandom: The Big Show
Rating: PG
Notes: For Darling scrunchy on her birthday ♥
One
"What are you doing here?"
"I brought beer. Do I need another reason?"
Keith pushed past Dan and into the apartment, taking two bottles from the carton and putting the remaining beer in the fridge.
"You don't need a reason at all," Dan said, closing the door, "I'm just surprised to see you."
"I would have come here tonight even if you hadn't been in the city. I still have a key."
Dan took the proffered bottle. "What's wrong with your place?"
"Women, Dan. My home is full of women." Keith plopped down on the sofa in frustration.
Dan sat next to his agitated friend. "Women?"
"Young, high-pitched women. There's a sorority sister or a high school friend or something visiting from LA. The giggling got to be too much for me."
There was very nearly a spit-take, and Dan started to laugh.
"Oh, you laugh. It is absolutely nothing like the pornos promised us all these years."
"No naked pillow fights then?"
"I would have stuck around for that."
"I would hope so."
Two
"What if... Becky Lobo would have said yes?"
"I would be divorced and have a ten year-old that was about six foot nine."
There was a nearly empty bottle of fine single malt scotch on the table and two nearly inebriated broadcasters on the sofa. It's was Keith's turn. "What if you hadn't have blown out your knee?"
"I would have had a brief, unremarkable career in the NBA. Then I would have gone into broadcasting."
"See, aren't you glad you skipped the middle man?"
Dan snorted. "Sure. I never actually wanted to turn pro. Jackass."
Keith took another sip. "So I am."
"What if you hadn't left?"
"We would be bitter old men desperately trying to come up with new catchphrases. And we'd hate each other."
"We wouldn't be old yet."
"I wouldn't. But by spending so much time around me you would have aged at an accelerated rate."
"Is that your secret mutant power?"
"You've found me out after all these years, dammit! Now you'll have to die or become one of my henchmen."
"What does henching pay these days?"
"What's today? Friday? Eight twelve per hour. But your uniform is provided. What..." Keith's face suddenly lost it's mirth. "What if I had kissed you that night in the studio?"
Dan downed the last of his whisky. "I thought you were going to."
"You did?"
"Yeah. Why didn't you?"
"I thought... I though it would break everything. What would you have done?"
"I would have kissed back."
Three
Keith let himself in and flipped on the light. He quickly left the item on a table where he knew Dan wouldn't miss it when he arrived home after the game. He was almost out the door when he remembered to take the empty shopping bag with him and turn out the light.
Dan came home and immediately saw the small, wrapped box. The tag said simply, "Happy Anniversary" in that unmistakable scrawl. Under the paper was a turquoise Tiffany box, and inside that box was a small silver frame with an even smaller picture in it. Somewhere, somehow, Keith had gotten hold of a snapshot of them from that week when they were both employed by CNN. He dialed Keith's number. "Silver? That's not until next year."
"Fine. Next time I'll just email it to you then."
Four
"Shouldn't you be in Jersey?" Dan tossed his keys onto the table next to the door and hung up his jacket.
Keith didn't look up from his laptop. "Doing the show from the city tonight."
"Yes, but why are you here? You have a perfectly good office in your own place."
"Paint fumes."
"Paint fumes?"
"Apparently the living room is the wrong color and it's disrupting the chi or some shit. In any case, there are painters and paint and fumes."
"And you didn't think to mention this when we were in the studio doing the show?"
Keith stopped typing and looked up at Dan, slightly confused and a little disappointed. "I honestly didn't think you'd mind. I can..."
"No, stay. I don't mind. I'm just surprised to see you here."
"I like it here. Unlike my place, it's got good chi."
"Do you even know what chi is?"
"I didn't think you'd know either."
"How many more years until you stop trying to bullshit me?"
"How many more years until you stop being exasperated when I do?"
Five
"Can I watch the Dodger game?"
"I knew this would happen." Dan opened the door and ushered his partner inside.
"You don't consider yourself lucky that your building management will let you have a dish?"
"Let's just say I see it as a mixed blessing."
"Very funny."
They sat down, Dan wielding the remote control. "Don't expect me to be very good company, it's been a long, shitty day and I'm exhausted."
"Wanna talk about it?"
"No. I just need to relax."
Keith put his arm around Dan, who laid his head on Keith's shoulder with a sigh. They watched the game in companionable silence until the third inning when Dan let out a little snore.
"Hey," Keith gave him a gentle shake, "go get in bed. I can let myself out."
Dan sat up, slightly dazed, but made no move to leave the sofa. He reached for a pillow from the other end of the sectional, propped it on Keith's leg, and laid down.
They were both still there come morning.
Author: Lunaris
Fandom: The Big Show
Rating: PG
Notes: For Darling scrunchy on her birthday ♥
One
"What are you doing here?"
"I brought beer. Do I need another reason?"
Keith pushed past Dan and into the apartment, taking two bottles from the carton and putting the remaining beer in the fridge.
"You don't need a reason at all," Dan said, closing the door, "I'm just surprised to see you."
"I would have come here tonight even if you hadn't been in the city. I still have a key."
Dan took the proffered bottle. "What's wrong with your place?"
"Women, Dan. My home is full of women." Keith plopped down on the sofa in frustration.
Dan sat next to his agitated friend. "Women?"
"Young, high-pitched women. There's a sorority sister or a high school friend or something visiting from LA. The giggling got to be too much for me."
There was very nearly a spit-take, and Dan started to laugh.
"Oh, you laugh. It is absolutely nothing like the pornos promised us all these years."
"No naked pillow fights then?"
"I would have stuck around for that."
"I would hope so."
Two
"What if... Becky Lobo would have said yes?"
"I would be divorced and have a ten year-old that was about six foot nine."
There was a nearly empty bottle of fine single malt scotch on the table and two nearly inebriated broadcasters on the sofa. It's was Keith's turn. "What if you hadn't have blown out your knee?"
"I would have had a brief, unremarkable career in the NBA. Then I would have gone into broadcasting."
"See, aren't you glad you skipped the middle man?"
Dan snorted. "Sure. I never actually wanted to turn pro. Jackass."
Keith took another sip. "So I am."
"What if you hadn't left?"
"We would be bitter old men desperately trying to come up with new catchphrases. And we'd hate each other."
"We wouldn't be old yet."
"I wouldn't. But by spending so much time around me you would have aged at an accelerated rate."
"Is that your secret mutant power?"
"You've found me out after all these years, dammit! Now you'll have to die or become one of my henchmen."
"What does henching pay these days?"
"What's today? Friday? Eight twelve per hour. But your uniform is provided. What..." Keith's face suddenly lost it's mirth. "What if I had kissed you that night in the studio?"
Dan downed the last of his whisky. "I thought you were going to."
"You did?"
"Yeah. Why didn't you?"
"I thought... I though it would break everything. What would you have done?"
"I would have kissed back."
Three
Keith let himself in and flipped on the light. He quickly left the item on a table where he knew Dan wouldn't miss it when he arrived home after the game. He was almost out the door when he remembered to take the empty shopping bag with him and turn out the light.
Dan came home and immediately saw the small, wrapped box. The tag said simply, "Happy Anniversary" in that unmistakable scrawl. Under the paper was a turquoise Tiffany box, and inside that box was a small silver frame with an even smaller picture in it. Somewhere, somehow, Keith had gotten hold of a snapshot of them from that week when they were both employed by CNN. He dialed Keith's number. "Silver? That's not until next year."
"Fine. Next time I'll just email it to you then."
Four
"Shouldn't you be in Jersey?" Dan tossed his keys onto the table next to the door and hung up his jacket.
Keith didn't look up from his laptop. "Doing the show from the city tonight."
"Yes, but why are you here? You have a perfectly good office in your own place."
"Paint fumes."
"Paint fumes?"
"Apparently the living room is the wrong color and it's disrupting the chi or some shit. In any case, there are painters and paint and fumes."
"And you didn't think to mention this when we were in the studio doing the show?"
Keith stopped typing and looked up at Dan, slightly confused and a little disappointed. "I honestly didn't think you'd mind. I can..."
"No, stay. I don't mind. I'm just surprised to see you here."
"I like it here. Unlike my place, it's got good chi."
"Do you even know what chi is?"
"I didn't think you'd know either."
"How many more years until you stop trying to bullshit me?"
"How many more years until you stop being exasperated when I do?"
Five
"Can I watch the Dodger game?"
"I knew this would happen." Dan opened the door and ushered his partner inside.
"You don't consider yourself lucky that your building management will let you have a dish?"
"Let's just say I see it as a mixed blessing."
"Very funny."
They sat down, Dan wielding the remote control. "Don't expect me to be very good company, it's been a long, shitty day and I'm exhausted."
"Wanna talk about it?"
"No. I just need to relax."
Keith put his arm around Dan, who laid his head on Keith's shoulder with a sigh. They watched the game in companionable silence until the third inning when Dan let out a little snore.
"Hey," Keith gave him a gentle shake, "go get in bed. I can let myself out."
Dan sat up, slightly dazed, but made no move to leave the sofa. He reached for a pillow from the other end of the sectional, propped it on Keith's leg, and laid down.
They were both still there come morning.