Eat and Run
Title: Eat and Run
Fandom: One Piece
Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Ace.
Rating: PG-13 (mostly for language, small bits of violence)
Word Count: 5360
Summary: Luffy drags Zoro out to dinner. Problem is, whose paying?
[--]
Luffy’s left foot was planted on the gray carpet, his right still outside as he tried to squirm through the window. Half of his body was on the fire escape, half in the apartment. He knew Zoro kept a spare key out in hallway hidden under Perona’s flowerpot, but he decided it would be fun to climb the fire escape. He had a problem getting the stiff window to open all the way to allow him in, but he managed to finally make it inside after worming his way in.
He took in a deep breath, finally being able to breathe properly after being stuck in between the window still for the past 5 minutes. He spotted Zoro in the middle if the living room, the couch and coffee table had been moved out of the way, now against the walls of his apartment. Zoro had his back turned to him as he lifted weights.
Luffy walked towards him, stepping in front of him, seeing that Zoro had his eyes closed in concentration. Zoro must have known he was there. He had made a bug fuss over being stuck in the window still and wasn’t exactly quiet about opening the old window either.
He leaned in closer to his friend, but still avoided being hit in the face as the weights were lifted to chest Zoro’s chest level, “hey Zoro!”
Nothing. No reaction at all. So Zoro was ignoring him on purpose. It wasn’t the first time this had happened. Usually he would play video games until Zoro stopped, but Luffy was starving. He needed food at the moment. More importantly, he needed Zoro’s attention.
Luffy snickered to himself and jumped on Zoro’s back, his arms wrapping around his neck. Zoro paid him no mind and continued to lift his weights, completely ignoring Luffy.
Luffy still clung to him and then craned his neck so could he see Zoro’s face. It was plain and emotionless so he poked Zoro’s cheek to try to get a reaction from him. Zoro didn’t even flinch. Luffy pouted over the fact that he was being ignored. He poked at Zoro’s closed eyelids and that did make Zoro’s face twitch a little, but nothing else happened.
Luffy smiled to himself; that was a start. He tightened his legs that had been around Zoro’s waist and with both hands poked and pinched at Zoro’s cheeks. Zoro’s face started to twitch in anger but he kept his eyes closed and started pumping his weights faster, bringing it to his chest and lowering it to his thighs with more force than before.
Luffy then laughed, right in Zoro’s ears, which made the other man furrow his eyebrows but he kept his eyes closed. The only change in his face was that now he was gritting his teeth, so much for trying to startle the man. Luffy calmed down enough to stop his shoulders that were shaking with barely contained laughter. He was close to making Zoro lose his focus. He reached up and ran his hands through Zoro’s spiky hair, damp with sweat.
Zoro’s shoulders went tense for a moment then he relaxed a bit, forcing himself to remain calm. Luffy began to scratch as his scalp that seemed to relax Zoro as he worked out. He even hummed a little.
Luffy realized that wasn’t his intention so he gripped at Zoro’s hair and tugged. Zoro threw his head back, knocking Luffy’s forehead as a warning for him to stop. Luffy released his hair to rub at his nose, good thing it wasn’t as long as Usopp’s or he would have defiantly broke it. Frowning again, Luffy stared to tug on his earrings.
Zoro sighed in frustration but refused to let the kid distract him from his workout, screwing his eyes shut. Luffy removed his hands from his ears and Zoro wondered what the kid would do next. His hands weren’t poking his face anymore, and he was a little worried about what that might mean for him. Then he felt something wet enter his ears.
“Wet willy!” Luffy announced happily behind him, laughing as Zoro’s whole body tensed, his spiky hair standing on edge.
“Dammit Luffy!!” Zoro yelled, opening his eyes and dropping his weights to the ground with a loud clunk, reaching behind him to yank Luffy by his collar and whip him around until he held him face to face.
Luffy continued to laugh as Zoro had him suspended in the air, glaring at him.
He had to snicker at Zoro’s deep voice. He knew the way he slit his eyes to a deadly glare would scare away others, but he knew Zoro wouldn’t hurt him.
“I broke Zoro’s concentration!” he grinned cheekily at him.
Zoro grumbled and set Luffy down, “good job.”
“Why’d you break in?” Zoro asked after picking up the towel he left on the floor, drying his damp hair, “You know where my spare key is.”
Luffy shrugged, “I know, but I wanted to climb the fire escape.”
“Oh.” He scratched the hair at the back of his neck. “Ok then.”
He yawned and walked to his couch, plopping down on it. He would have patted the seat next to him but Luffy never needed an invitation to jump on him and ask to wrestle or pig pile on him, which was what he did.
Luffy threw himself back and landed on Zoro’s lap. “Let’s go out and do something!”
Zoro leaned his head back to rest on the couch, closing his eyes. “I’m guessing your hungry.”
Luffy giggled, “Yeah I am.” He leaned back so he was resting on Zoro. Despite his appearance, he was really comfortable to sleep on. No one believed him, or rather, cared to try it out. Zoro had those looks that kept people away.
“Why didn’t you go to the shitty cook’s place? I’m sure he’ll feed you.”
“He’s visiting France with the old man, he won’t be back for two weeks.”
Zoro opened his eyes and looked down at Luffy, a huge smile on his face. “Good.” He seemed really happy about the news, “the girls could use a break from that prick, he’s always bothering them.”
“Nami actually misses him.” When Zoro raised an eyebrow in surprise he continued, “he usually did a lot of stuff for her. So now she’s trying to blackmail Usopp to do things for her.”
Zoro shook his head, but a smirk managed to make its way to his lips, “what a sap.”
Luffy stared at him for a moment. “Like a tree bark?” Luffy asked, titling his head to the side.
“No Luffy, sap!” Zoro sighed exasperated, “like,” when he saw Luffy would never understand he said, “Never mind.”
Luffy nodded, fair enough. “Well, let’s go out to eat!”
“Can’t. I’m flat broke. I used the last of my money for the month’s rent and I don’t get paid ‘til tomorrow.” He yawned and propped his feet on the coffee table. “We’ll just have to eat what’s here.”
“What’s here?” he asked, he had figured Zoro didn’t have food.
Zoro smirked, “crackers and tuna.”
Luffy snorted, “you would starve without us, you know that?”
Zoro grabbed Luffy in a headlock, rubbing his knuckles on Luffy’s head. “I did fine before I met you.” He relaxed again on the couch after leaving Luffy’s hair alone, looking at the ceiling, “I laughed more before I met the cook too.”
Luffy laughed, “You guys are so weird. I bet he’ll bring you something nice when he comes back form his trip. He said he’ll bring back presents for everyone!”
“I wouldn’t trust anything he gives me.”
Luffy let his head drop back, hitting Zoro’s nose. “Hey, we should go to that one place on Warner Ave. You know, that new restaurant? I heard it’s really good. And they have great steak, I can smell it from outside.”
Zoro rubbed his nose after he shoved Luffy’s head aside so it rested on his shoulders instead. His black hair was getting in his nostrils anyways, “isn’t it expensive? And I already told you I don’t have money.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“What? Really?”
Luffy nodded, “so hurry up and get dressed.” He got up and turned around, grabbed Zoro’s wrist and trying to lift him off the couch, “I’m hungry, get up.”
[--]
The waiter nodded after hearing Zoro’s order and looked to Luffy expectedly, “And what would you like sir?”
Luffy smiled at the waiter, who had welcomed them in kindly and got their drinks on time. Not to say if he didn’t Luffy would treat him any differently. “The 22 oz. steak!”
The 22 oz. steak.
So his guess was right.
The waiter’s eyebrow twitched. It was just a bunch of junkies coming in for munchies. The minute they walked in he guessed they were on something. The green haired guy had to have been a pothead, what sane sober person would dye their hair green? Punk.
He was partially right; the green haired dude was an alcoholic that was for sure. He had ordered 3 wise men when he came around to ask what they wanted to drink. He had come just arrived to hand them over their drinks and witnessed as they guy downed one glass after another until the 3 glasses were empty. He ordered his meal and then ordered a Cuba Libre.
Bu then there was his friend. He had tried to order 12 orders of the 22. oz. steak. He would have to watch them closely so they wouldn’t leave without playing. It happened many times before.
“How would you like it cooked sir?” the waiter asked, ignoring how happy Luffy seemed at the idea of meat. There was always a bunch of crackpots coming in here anyway.
“Medium’s fine.”
“And for the two sides, sir?”
“Can I get two sides of meat?”
It was then the waiter showed some emotion; surprise. He raised an eyebrow but controlled his features quite well; a trick he learned to get great tips. “No sir, you see here,” he pointed to the menu where the list of sides were, “Those are the sides you may order to accompany your meal.”
“Oh,” disappointment evident in Luffy’s voice, “Surprise me then.” He grinned cheekily at the waiter, handing over the menu over.
As the waiter turned to leave he heard the smaller man whisper to the alcoholic guy in a not so low voice, “Wow this place sucks Zoro.”
The alcoholic guy, apparently named Zoro, only grunted in response.
To Luffy’s supreme unfortunate he got a side order of mixed vegetables and red skinned potatoes. He made a face at them like they had wronged him and picked up his place, and titled it a little so the vegetables slide onto Zoro’s plate. “Here Zoro! Eat up!”
Zoro rolled his eyes but stabbed the vegetables with his fork and ate them anyways. It wouldn’t be the first time Luffy forced him to eat vegetables for two. At least he was getting booze out of this.
Speaking of which, he had just finished chugging down his latest glass of booze and made a face, “Freaking fancy bars, always have to water everything down. And they overprice the drinks too.”
Luffy nodded as he if he could actually sympathize with him and continued to chew on his steak with his mouth open. Zoro would have told him to close his mouth but he found out he recently picked up on the habit as well. Luffy was using both his hands to shovel food into his mouth, this was momentarily stopped when he reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone that was now vibrating. He resumed eating, but now with one hand, and flipped his phone open and looked over at the screen. He started texting after a moment.
Zoro smirked at the sight; that was Luffy for you. A retard when it came to figuring out if was indeed cold or not but completely multifunctional when it came to eating his steak with one hand and texting with the other.
After a while he flipped his phone shut and placed it back in his pocket and resumed eating with both hands. He looked at Zoro who had patiently waited for an explanation. “That was Ace, he asked where we were. I gave him directions so he could join us.”
Zoro nodded, “hopefully he brought his car. I really don’t want to walk back.”
“Afraid you’ll get lost?” Luffy smirked between mouthfuls.
“Shut up Luffy.”
Luffy laughed after taking a swallow of his meal, which Zoro was thankful for. He did not need to get sprayed by Luffy thank you very much. After Luffy had enough he went back to eating, deeming that to be of more importance than making fun of Zoro.
Zoro couldn’t help but smile at him, “well thanks for the meal. That was real good,” he patted his stomach, “if it weren’t for you I would have gone three days without eating.”
If the cook knew he would have kicked his ass; then fed him.
“What are you talking about?” Luffy asked, raising an eyebrow as he stared at him, “I don’t have money.”
Zoro choked in his drink. He pounded his hest with a tight fist, trying to breathe normally. “What?” he roared.
Luffy blinked, and swallowed the piece of steak he had been chewing on. “I said I don’t have money.”
“Then why did you come to my house and say Zoro, come eat with me! My treat!”
Luffy scratched his chin, “oh that’s right!” he smiled. It flattened when he saw that Zoro wasn’t doing the same, he smiled sheepishly. “Umm, I was calling you my treat? Come eat with me my treat? See? That’s what I meant.”
Zoro narrowed his eyes, “you hang out with Sanji too much.”
Luffy chuckled, “maybe. But since Ace is coming he might have money.”
[--]
“What? You guys don’t have money?” Ace asked, completely flabbergasted.
He could not believe them. It wasn’t beyond Luffy to do something so reckless, he knew his little brother well enough. But Zoro? But if he was guessing right, the poor kid got roped into this without knowing his little brother had no money. Luffy was always eating, but sometimes the concept of paying was beyond him. It might have been his fault, but he wasn’t going into that.
“No,” Zoro sighed.
Yeah, the poor guy defiantly didn’t know Luffy had no money. He liked Zoro a lot, when Luffy first introduced them he had gotten along well with him. He was a loyal friend and defended Luffy almost as much as he did. But sometimes he was just as stupid as his brother. He worried about the both of them a lot.
“We were hoping you did.”
Ace smiled, and leaned back in his chair, bring up an arm to rest his elbow on the chair, “They don’t call me eat and run for nothing.” He kept his smile and looked around the restaurant, taking note of the expensive silverware, the glass windows, the silk tablecloths, the marble floor and columns, the waiters with little black bow ties. “And even if I had some, it wouldn’t be enough for this place, it’s expensive as hell dude.”
Zoro grumbled, “tell me about it. I don’t even know why I thought Luffy could pay.”
Luffy chuckled, slapping the tabletop a few times, “Zoro you’re so stupid sometimes.”
“Whose stupid?” Zoro snarled.
Ace kept turning his head to look at the place, letting out a whistle like he was impressed, “you guys sure know how to pick ‘em.” He turned to Luffy, “did you tell him yet?”
Luffy still chewed on his food, “nope.”
“Luffy, that’s the reason why I sent you to see Zoro.”
“I got hungry.”
Zoro raised an eyebrow, “tell me what?”
Ace smiled, “oh, Garps said to invite you to dinner tomorrow night. He actually doesn’t mind you, surprising considering he hates all our other friends.”
“Remember that time Sabo was over?” Luffy spoke up, “man that was funny.”
Ace shivered at the memory of broken chairs, and split table, foods covering the walls, shattered china and a ripped curtain. “Sabo is still scarred.”
“What’s wrong with your grandpa?” Zoro inquired.
He had ran into the old man down at the station a few times here and there when he went to turn in a bounty. And while he did find the constant nose picking and his weird dog hat to be on the odd side, he couldn’t say much about him.
Ace and Luffy seemed just about as weird. They really had no grounds in which to criticize their gramps. They picked their noses, flicked the boogers at people afterwards, tended to sleep standing up or in mid conversation, and had abnormal taste in headwear. The3 of them were exactly alike.
Ace snickered, “He’s just as bad as us, if not worst.” He leaned in closer to Zoro. “But I’m sure you’ll have a blast getting to know him.
“Your smile isn’t convincing Portgas.”
“Don’t call me that. Only old man Smoker can call me that.”
“Which reminds me, have you won the old man’s heart yet?”
Ace smiled cheekily, “he likes me alright, he just won’t admit it.”
“He’s too old Ace. Date Marco instead,” Luffy quipped.
“Marco’s older than he looks.” He waved a man, dismissing that comment, “and he’s like an older brother to me.”
Zoro ignored them and took gulp from his drink.
Luffy looked over at Zoro, “you have to come over. If you don’t he’ll kick your ass.”
Zoro smirked, “like he can.”
“Oh he can,” Ace said, looking at him seriously, “he doesn’t care if you’re a guest, he’ll beat your ass if you cross the line.” He thought of Sabo again, “He’s done it before.”
Zoro grumbled a bit, knowing he couldn’t get out of it. Instead he chose to change the subject. “Well, what are we gonna do about the bill? The 3 of us can’t run outta here.”
Ace grabbed Zoro’s fork, picking some food off of his plate and raised it to his mouth; “we have no money, not like we have a choice.” He smirked as he chewed, “plus it’s your guy’s bill. I can walk out if I wanted to, leaving you dorks behind.”
Zoro rolled his eyes. Like he would do that.
Luffy smiled and patted Zoro’s back, “don’t worry about it. Something will come up.” He slapped Ace’s hand as he tried to get some meat from his plate. “Too bad Usopp isn’t here, he could think of a way to lie his way out.”
Ace grinned, “that long nose can lie his way outta anything. It’s truly a gift.”
“Curse for everyone else,” Zoro muttered under his breath.
Luffy finished inhaling what was left on his plate; he had even brought the plate to his lips and titled it, pushing all the food into his mouth. Ace and Zoro looked on with dismay, not being able to look away. As soon as Luffy swallowed he raised his hand, “Waiter! Bring another plate!”
Zoro grumbled into his hand, “quit ordering food you idiot.”
Ace smacked him over the head, “and say please!” He sighed and shook his head, “no manners.”
Luffy shrugged, just waiting for his plate to arrive. Zoro, deciding he might as well, ordered a Tequila Slammer to drink his problems away. Ace smirked and ordered a dish as well, because he had come with the intention of eating anyways.
The two plates and drink arrived, Luffy eating almost as fast as Zoro drank his cocktail; Ace had to laugh at them, they were quite the sight.
“So Zoro, have you thought of anything yet?” He asked, cutting up his steak with his fork and knife.
“Why me?”
“You can’t expect Luffy to think of something,” he snorted, gesturing his thumb at his kid brother.
“HEY!”
“Why don’t you think of something?”
“It’s more fun to watch you squirm,” he raised his fork, the end having a freshly cut chunk of steak on it, pausing before he ate it. “Plus, you’re the ones who got into this mess in the -” he could finish his sentence due to his narcoleptic spell kicking in.
His whole body jerked forward when he went to sleep, his face slammed down on his plate, the food cushioning the blow, lest he wake up with a broke nose. The table shifted with his impact, and his hand was still in mid air, just about to reach for his mouth. Even passed out, he didn’t lose his grip on the fork. It was hereditary that the Monkey family never surrendered food that easily.
Zoro sighed as he watched Luffy pick up his own fork and eat around Ace’s face, picking up whatever food he could get. Leave it to him to eat around an unconscious guy’s face. But it was his brother, so germs weren’t an issue.
Zoro was about to roll his eyes when an idea hit him suddenly. He had to act fast in order for it to work, but it would be worth it. In case it didn’t, he could get away with saying it had been a prank.
Half of the work was already taken care of; the entire restaurant had turned around to see Ace since he made a loud clash against the china and the table so he already had the restaurant’s attention. They all were staring at them, their eyes averting from Ace to Zoro and Luffy and back to Ace. Murmurs were heard and it was dead silence for a whole thirty seconds before Zoro yelled at the top of his lungs, scaring the customers and workers all at once.
“SNIPER!!! EVERYBODY DOWN!!!!”
There was dead silence for a whole 3 seconds before chaos fully erupted.
Some table parties dove for the floor, covering their heads and trying to make themselves flatter than the floor to evade imaginary bullets. Women were screaming, some were actually crying. A few men were as well but Zoro didn’t have time to laugh at them. Some men made a mad dash for the door, a few of them chivalrous enough to grab their women on the way out to save them from the gunfire. All in all, people were running out in complete hysteria.
Luffy had not moved the entire time and sat in his chair, staring at the commotion with a hint of curiosity and amusement. Taking his eyes away from the waiter who had dropped his serving tray and threw himself on the floor and was now crawling to the exit on his belly, he looked to Zoro, “What are you planning?”
Zoro didn’t answer as he got up from his seat and grabbed Ace around his middle and slung his over his shoulder, who, incidentally, didn’t let go of his fork. After he had a good grip on Ace he turned he yelled, “Come on Luffy!”
Luffy then understood so he grabbed the last of his meal and got up and ran towards the exit, following Zoro. Along the way he stopped to pick up abandoned dishes and carry them out with him, eating some of it along the way. Luffy also managed to flail his free arm over his head and running just as frantically as the other customers; just for show. Zoro smiled despite the situation, he knew he came in handy for something.
Outside the restaurant, a woman stood outside, being one the first ones to manage to make it outside. She stood there next to her husband who had acted fast and stole he away form the madness in time. Lucky her. “How could it have been a sniper?” she asked, puzzled.
“What do you mean?” her husband asked, looking at her strangely.
“Wouldn’t the glass break if the bullet had killed him?” She pointed to the large-scale windows that made up the restaurant, “Look, there’s no bullet hole. It couldn’t have been a sniper.”
The waiter that had been serving Luffy and Zoro then looked side-to-side, spotting three hooligans running towards the alley. “It’s eat and runs!” He yelled at the top of his voice.
He knew they were trouble; his gut feelings never lied to him.
One of the cooks raised his meat cleaver and yelled, “Get them!”
Zoro cursed his luck. “Shit!”
Luffy clamped a hand down on his straw hat and ran faster, leading the way for Zoro as he ran after him. It was easier to run now that he had gotten rid of the plates he had abducted. They made a turn from the street and ran down an alleyway. From the corner of his eye he saw several cooks chasing after them, all holding knives above their heads as they pursued them.
The cooks were several yards behind them but Luffy yelped and jumped as a salmon knife barely missed slicing his arm off. He turned his face to see Zoro barely dodging a bonding knife and a vegetable knife, a comical look of bewilderment on his face.
Luffy was laughing as he ran, “they’re all fighting cooks just like Sanji!”
“No wonder I hated that restaurant!” Zoro grumbled as they continued to run.
“Come back here you stupid kids!” One cook yelled, flinging a meat cleaver at Zoro’s head. Impale
“You think you can get away with not paying ya bunch of punks?” Another mental cook shouted, hurling a pairing knife at Luffy’s feet so he wouldn’t be able to run away anymore.
“Shit!” Zoro exclaimed as he ducked his head, avoiding decapitation in the nick of time. He gripped Ace a little tighter, not wanting to accidently drop him. “They’re almost as bad the love cook!”
“But he only kicks, they’re flinging knives at us!” Luffy remarked with delight as he jumped, the pairing knife sliding under his feet. If he hadn’t of jumped that stupid knife would have impaled his ankles.
The chefs were pissed, and they were out for blood. Luffy started laughing at the entire situation, which only served to make Zoro more pissed.
Luffy and Zoro then saw that there was a fence that they would need to jump over ahead. They hadn’t had time to notice it; since they were busy evading Luffy lethal injuries. Zoro was wondering how he would get over it, with Ace still unconscious it would be difficult to get both of them over it. Then he saw crates piled with trash bags on the other end and felt lucky for the first time that day.
When they were closer Luffy jumped on the fence and scampered over it quickly, waiting on the other end for Zoro. Zoro raised Ace over his shoulder and threw him over the fence, where he landed on top of the trash bags. Luffy frowned a little, “be careful with him!”
Zoro ignored him and jumped over the fence swiftly. Once he landed where Luffy was he threw Ace over his shoulder again and they both began to run again, disappearing down the alley as the cooks tried to jump over the fence.
They made left and rights while running down the alley, and they finally stopped to catch their breath, crouching in the corner. Zoro and Luffy were panting hard from running so much. They were regaining their energy and thankful that they didn’t received any wounds. The only misfortune to happen was that Luffy’s right flip-flop had snapped.
Zoro had set Ace down and let him lean on him so he wouldn’t fall anywhere else. Luffy peered around the corner, checking to see if he could spot a blood lusty cook. “I think we lost them.”
“I think so too,” Ace mumbled into Zoro’s shoulder. He startled them both, since they had thought him comatose until that point.
“Ace? You’re awake?” Zoro asked.
Ace grinned wickedly, “Actually I woke up when you guys were running down the alley. I just wanted to be carried.”
Zoro shoved him off, “asshole! Do you know hard it was avoiding all those meat cleavers with you on my back?”
Ace flashed a smile; “I did it for you! Think of it as a form of training Zoro dearest.”
“I’m sure that was your intention,” Zoro glared.
Luffy was laughing so hard he was clutching his stomach, “Zoro you’re so stupid!”
“Shut up Luffy!”
Ace chuckled a bit as he picked himself up and offered a hand to Zoro. Zoro’s glare went away and allowed Ace to help him up. “I think we should head home, you should sleep over Zoro, might as well.”
Zoro accepted and the three of them made their way towards Luffy and Ace’s home. Luffy had whined along the way, saying it was difficult to walk with one good sandal so Zoro ended up giving him a piggyback.
Luffy hugged Zoro’s neck harder, “Zoro, that was so funny back there.” He kicked his feet in the air from where they dangled at Zoro’s thighs, “I would have never thought to blame a sniper.”
Zoro grunted, “I had to think of something.”
Ace smiled, agreeing with Luffy that it had been an ingenious idea. “My sleeping spells are good for something aren’t they?” He nudged Zoro in the ribs, “huh? Huh?”
Luffy laughed harder in Zoro’s ears, “We should do that every time!”
“It sure beats sneaking out, that was way more fun.”
“This was a one time thing guys. I’m not carrying you again.”
[--]
Once inside the apartment that Ace and Luffy shared, they all collapsed. Zoro fell onto the love seat, his back falling on the cushions, his feet hanging off the armrest. Luffy was beside him on the floor, resting on the rug that spread out from under the coffee table. Ace threw himself backwards on the lazy boy and had his head and feet dangling off the armrest.
Ace sighed, “what a day.”
“Yeah,” Zoro agreed, “it’s worthy of an after dinner nap.”
Ace nodded, closing his eyes, about ready to join Zoro in that after dinner nap when suddenly Luffy shot up from his position on the floor, exclaiming, “Ace! We forgot to stop by the supermarket!”
Ace yawned, “It’s closed Luffy.” He raised his arms and starched, “we can go tomorrow,” he said between yawns.
“Besides,” Zoro added, yawning as well, “even if we did spot by the market, you don’t have money on you.”
Luffy eyed Zoro then reached into his pocket, pulling out a fifty. “Yeah I do.”
Ace shot up in his seat and glared, “Luffy, why do you have a fifty in your pocket?”
“It’s my money to buy meat,” Luffy calmly explained, “I always buy meat on Thursdays. They have a special on Thursdays down at Jill’s.”
“Was that in your pocket the whole time?” Zoro gritted his teeth whilst asking, drawing out the words as slowly as possible.
“Yeah, why?’
Ace threw a pillow at his face, “why didn’t you pay for the dinner if you had a fifty on you the entire time!?!”
Luffy rubbed at his cheek where the pillow had smacked him, “but Ace,” he whined, “that was for meat. I couldn’t use it for something else.”
Before Ace could say anything Zoro punched Luffy in the back of the head, “you moron!”
He had punched him hard enough to knock him unconscious. He looked at Ace with a shy smile, “sorry.”
Ace only shrugged, “I don’t mind. I would have hit him too.”
Ace reached for the control on the table and flipped the T.V. on, “saves me the trouble.” He and Zoro both flinched when cataplexy kicked in and he dropped the remote. When he regained muscle tone he picked the remote up again and they both acted like nothing had happened, ignoring Luffy as he lay on the floor drooling a little on the floor.
Zoro reclined back into the couch, crossing his arms behind his head and propping his feet on their coffee table, “so what’s on anyways?”
Ace flipped through the channels, “dunno, but tell me if you spot something interesting.” He continued to press the button on the remote when he told Zoro, “oh, and be sure wear a tie to dinner tomorrow.”
Zoro only nodded in response, it had been too long a day and he didn’t feel like wasting energy on talking.
[--]
Don't mess with cooks. They have meat cleavers.
Fandom: One Piece
Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Ace.
Rating: PG-13 (mostly for language, small bits of violence)
Word Count: 5360
Summary: Luffy drags Zoro out to dinner. Problem is, whose paying?
[--]
Luffy’s left foot was planted on the gray carpet, his right still outside as he tried to squirm through the window. Half of his body was on the fire escape, half in the apartment. He knew Zoro kept a spare key out in hallway hidden under Perona’s flowerpot, but he decided it would be fun to climb the fire escape. He had a problem getting the stiff window to open all the way to allow him in, but he managed to finally make it inside after worming his way in.
He took in a deep breath, finally being able to breathe properly after being stuck in between the window still for the past 5 minutes. He spotted Zoro in the middle if the living room, the couch and coffee table had been moved out of the way, now against the walls of his apartment. Zoro had his back turned to him as he lifted weights.
Luffy walked towards him, stepping in front of him, seeing that Zoro had his eyes closed in concentration. Zoro must have known he was there. He had made a bug fuss over being stuck in the window still and wasn’t exactly quiet about opening the old window either.
He leaned in closer to his friend, but still avoided being hit in the face as the weights were lifted to chest Zoro’s chest level, “hey Zoro!”
Nothing. No reaction at all. So Zoro was ignoring him on purpose. It wasn’t the first time this had happened. Usually he would play video games until Zoro stopped, but Luffy was starving. He needed food at the moment. More importantly, he needed Zoro’s attention.
Luffy snickered to himself and jumped on Zoro’s back, his arms wrapping around his neck. Zoro paid him no mind and continued to lift his weights, completely ignoring Luffy.
Luffy still clung to him and then craned his neck so could he see Zoro’s face. It was plain and emotionless so he poked Zoro’s cheek to try to get a reaction from him. Zoro didn’t even flinch. Luffy pouted over the fact that he was being ignored. He poked at Zoro’s closed eyelids and that did make Zoro’s face twitch a little, but nothing else happened.
Luffy smiled to himself; that was a start. He tightened his legs that had been around Zoro’s waist and with both hands poked and pinched at Zoro’s cheeks. Zoro’s face started to twitch in anger but he kept his eyes closed and started pumping his weights faster, bringing it to his chest and lowering it to his thighs with more force than before.
Luffy then laughed, right in Zoro’s ears, which made the other man furrow his eyebrows but he kept his eyes closed. The only change in his face was that now he was gritting his teeth, so much for trying to startle the man. Luffy calmed down enough to stop his shoulders that were shaking with barely contained laughter. He was close to making Zoro lose his focus. He reached up and ran his hands through Zoro’s spiky hair, damp with sweat.
Zoro’s shoulders went tense for a moment then he relaxed a bit, forcing himself to remain calm. Luffy began to scratch as his scalp that seemed to relax Zoro as he worked out. He even hummed a little.
Luffy realized that wasn’t his intention so he gripped at Zoro’s hair and tugged. Zoro threw his head back, knocking Luffy’s forehead as a warning for him to stop. Luffy released his hair to rub at his nose, good thing it wasn’t as long as Usopp’s or he would have defiantly broke it. Frowning again, Luffy stared to tug on his earrings.
Zoro sighed in frustration but refused to let the kid distract him from his workout, screwing his eyes shut. Luffy removed his hands from his ears and Zoro wondered what the kid would do next. His hands weren’t poking his face anymore, and he was a little worried about what that might mean for him. Then he felt something wet enter his ears.
“Wet willy!” Luffy announced happily behind him, laughing as Zoro’s whole body tensed, his spiky hair standing on edge.
“Dammit Luffy!!” Zoro yelled, opening his eyes and dropping his weights to the ground with a loud clunk, reaching behind him to yank Luffy by his collar and whip him around until he held him face to face.
Luffy continued to laugh as Zoro had him suspended in the air, glaring at him.
He had to snicker at Zoro’s deep voice. He knew the way he slit his eyes to a deadly glare would scare away others, but he knew Zoro wouldn’t hurt him.
“I broke Zoro’s concentration!” he grinned cheekily at him.
Zoro grumbled and set Luffy down, “good job.”
“Why’d you break in?” Zoro asked after picking up the towel he left on the floor, drying his damp hair, “You know where my spare key is.”
Luffy shrugged, “I know, but I wanted to climb the fire escape.”
“Oh.” He scratched the hair at the back of his neck. “Ok then.”
He yawned and walked to his couch, plopping down on it. He would have patted the seat next to him but Luffy never needed an invitation to jump on him and ask to wrestle or pig pile on him, which was what he did.
Luffy threw himself back and landed on Zoro’s lap. “Let’s go out and do something!”
Zoro leaned his head back to rest on the couch, closing his eyes. “I’m guessing your hungry.”
Luffy giggled, “Yeah I am.” He leaned back so he was resting on Zoro. Despite his appearance, he was really comfortable to sleep on. No one believed him, or rather, cared to try it out. Zoro had those looks that kept people away.
“Why didn’t you go to the shitty cook’s place? I’m sure he’ll feed you.”
“He’s visiting France with the old man, he won’t be back for two weeks.”
Zoro opened his eyes and looked down at Luffy, a huge smile on his face. “Good.” He seemed really happy about the news, “the girls could use a break from that prick, he’s always bothering them.”
“Nami actually misses him.” When Zoro raised an eyebrow in surprise he continued, “he usually did a lot of stuff for her. So now she’s trying to blackmail Usopp to do things for her.”
Zoro shook his head, but a smirk managed to make its way to his lips, “what a sap.”
Luffy stared at him for a moment. “Like a tree bark?” Luffy asked, titling his head to the side.
“No Luffy, sap!” Zoro sighed exasperated, “like,” when he saw Luffy would never understand he said, “Never mind.”
Luffy nodded, fair enough. “Well, let’s go out to eat!”
“Can’t. I’m flat broke. I used the last of my money for the month’s rent and I don’t get paid ‘til tomorrow.” He yawned and propped his feet on the coffee table. “We’ll just have to eat what’s here.”
“What’s here?” he asked, he had figured Zoro didn’t have food.
Zoro smirked, “crackers and tuna.”
Luffy snorted, “you would starve without us, you know that?”
Zoro grabbed Luffy in a headlock, rubbing his knuckles on Luffy’s head. “I did fine before I met you.” He relaxed again on the couch after leaving Luffy’s hair alone, looking at the ceiling, “I laughed more before I met the cook too.”
Luffy laughed, “You guys are so weird. I bet he’ll bring you something nice when he comes back form his trip. He said he’ll bring back presents for everyone!”
“I wouldn’t trust anything he gives me.”
Luffy let his head drop back, hitting Zoro’s nose. “Hey, we should go to that one place on Warner Ave. You know, that new restaurant? I heard it’s really good. And they have great steak, I can smell it from outside.”
Zoro rubbed his nose after he shoved Luffy’s head aside so it rested on his shoulders instead. His black hair was getting in his nostrils anyways, “isn’t it expensive? And I already told you I don’t have money.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“What? Really?”
Luffy nodded, “so hurry up and get dressed.” He got up and turned around, grabbed Zoro’s wrist and trying to lift him off the couch, “I’m hungry, get up.”
[--]
The waiter nodded after hearing Zoro’s order and looked to Luffy expectedly, “And what would you like sir?”
Luffy smiled at the waiter, who had welcomed them in kindly and got their drinks on time. Not to say if he didn’t Luffy would treat him any differently. “The 22 oz. steak!”
The 22 oz. steak.
So his guess was right.
The waiter’s eyebrow twitched. It was just a bunch of junkies coming in for munchies. The minute they walked in he guessed they were on something. The green haired guy had to have been a pothead, what sane sober person would dye their hair green? Punk.
He was partially right; the green haired dude was an alcoholic that was for sure. He had ordered 3 wise men when he came around to ask what they wanted to drink. He had come just arrived to hand them over their drinks and witnessed as they guy downed one glass after another until the 3 glasses were empty. He ordered his meal and then ordered a Cuba Libre.
Bu then there was his friend. He had tried to order 12 orders of the 22. oz. steak. He would have to watch them closely so they wouldn’t leave without playing. It happened many times before.
“How would you like it cooked sir?” the waiter asked, ignoring how happy Luffy seemed at the idea of meat. There was always a bunch of crackpots coming in here anyway.
“Medium’s fine.”
“And for the two sides, sir?”
“Can I get two sides of meat?”
It was then the waiter showed some emotion; surprise. He raised an eyebrow but controlled his features quite well; a trick he learned to get great tips. “No sir, you see here,” he pointed to the menu where the list of sides were, “Those are the sides you may order to accompany your meal.”
“Oh,” disappointment evident in Luffy’s voice, “Surprise me then.” He grinned cheekily at the waiter, handing over the menu over.
As the waiter turned to leave he heard the smaller man whisper to the alcoholic guy in a not so low voice, “Wow this place sucks Zoro.”
The alcoholic guy, apparently named Zoro, only grunted in response.
To Luffy’s supreme unfortunate he got a side order of mixed vegetables and red skinned potatoes. He made a face at them like they had wronged him and picked up his place, and titled it a little so the vegetables slide onto Zoro’s plate. “Here Zoro! Eat up!”
Zoro rolled his eyes but stabbed the vegetables with his fork and ate them anyways. It wouldn’t be the first time Luffy forced him to eat vegetables for two. At least he was getting booze out of this.
Speaking of which, he had just finished chugging down his latest glass of booze and made a face, “Freaking fancy bars, always have to water everything down. And they overprice the drinks too.”
Luffy nodded as he if he could actually sympathize with him and continued to chew on his steak with his mouth open. Zoro would have told him to close his mouth but he found out he recently picked up on the habit as well. Luffy was using both his hands to shovel food into his mouth, this was momentarily stopped when he reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone that was now vibrating. He resumed eating, but now with one hand, and flipped his phone open and looked over at the screen. He started texting after a moment.
Zoro smirked at the sight; that was Luffy for you. A retard when it came to figuring out if was indeed cold or not but completely multifunctional when it came to eating his steak with one hand and texting with the other.
After a while he flipped his phone shut and placed it back in his pocket and resumed eating with both hands. He looked at Zoro who had patiently waited for an explanation. “That was Ace, he asked where we were. I gave him directions so he could join us.”
Zoro nodded, “hopefully he brought his car. I really don’t want to walk back.”
“Afraid you’ll get lost?” Luffy smirked between mouthfuls.
“Shut up Luffy.”
Luffy laughed after taking a swallow of his meal, which Zoro was thankful for. He did not need to get sprayed by Luffy thank you very much. After Luffy had enough he went back to eating, deeming that to be of more importance than making fun of Zoro.
Zoro couldn’t help but smile at him, “well thanks for the meal. That was real good,” he patted his stomach, “if it weren’t for you I would have gone three days without eating.”
If the cook knew he would have kicked his ass; then fed him.
“What are you talking about?” Luffy asked, raising an eyebrow as he stared at him, “I don’t have money.”
Zoro choked in his drink. He pounded his hest with a tight fist, trying to breathe normally. “What?” he roared.
Luffy blinked, and swallowed the piece of steak he had been chewing on. “I said I don’t have money.”
“Then why did you come to my house and say Zoro, come eat with me! My treat!”
Luffy scratched his chin, “oh that’s right!” he smiled. It flattened when he saw that Zoro wasn’t doing the same, he smiled sheepishly. “Umm, I was calling you my treat? Come eat with me my treat? See? That’s what I meant.”
Zoro narrowed his eyes, “you hang out with Sanji too much.”
Luffy chuckled, “maybe. But since Ace is coming he might have money.”
[--]
“What? You guys don’t have money?” Ace asked, completely flabbergasted.
He could not believe them. It wasn’t beyond Luffy to do something so reckless, he knew his little brother well enough. But Zoro? But if he was guessing right, the poor kid got roped into this without knowing his little brother had no money. Luffy was always eating, but sometimes the concept of paying was beyond him. It might have been his fault, but he wasn’t going into that.
“No,” Zoro sighed.
Yeah, the poor guy defiantly didn’t know Luffy had no money. He liked Zoro a lot, when Luffy first introduced them he had gotten along well with him. He was a loyal friend and defended Luffy almost as much as he did. But sometimes he was just as stupid as his brother. He worried about the both of them a lot.
“We were hoping you did.”
Ace smiled, and leaned back in his chair, bring up an arm to rest his elbow on the chair, “They don’t call me eat and run for nothing.” He kept his smile and looked around the restaurant, taking note of the expensive silverware, the glass windows, the silk tablecloths, the marble floor and columns, the waiters with little black bow ties. “And even if I had some, it wouldn’t be enough for this place, it’s expensive as hell dude.”
Zoro grumbled, “tell me about it. I don’t even know why I thought Luffy could pay.”
Luffy chuckled, slapping the tabletop a few times, “Zoro you’re so stupid sometimes.”
“Whose stupid?” Zoro snarled.
Ace kept turning his head to look at the place, letting out a whistle like he was impressed, “you guys sure know how to pick ‘em.” He turned to Luffy, “did you tell him yet?”
Luffy still chewed on his food, “nope.”
“Luffy, that’s the reason why I sent you to see Zoro.”
“I got hungry.”
Zoro raised an eyebrow, “tell me what?”
Ace smiled, “oh, Garps said to invite you to dinner tomorrow night. He actually doesn’t mind you, surprising considering he hates all our other friends.”
“Remember that time Sabo was over?” Luffy spoke up, “man that was funny.”
Ace shivered at the memory of broken chairs, and split table, foods covering the walls, shattered china and a ripped curtain. “Sabo is still scarred.”
“What’s wrong with your grandpa?” Zoro inquired.
He had ran into the old man down at the station a few times here and there when he went to turn in a bounty. And while he did find the constant nose picking and his weird dog hat to be on the odd side, he couldn’t say much about him.
Ace and Luffy seemed just about as weird. They really had no grounds in which to criticize their gramps. They picked their noses, flicked the boogers at people afterwards, tended to sleep standing up or in mid conversation, and had abnormal taste in headwear. The3 of them were exactly alike.
Ace snickered, “He’s just as bad as us, if not worst.” He leaned in closer to Zoro. “But I’m sure you’ll have a blast getting to know him.
“Your smile isn’t convincing Portgas.”
“Don’t call me that. Only old man Smoker can call me that.”
“Which reminds me, have you won the old man’s heart yet?”
Ace smiled cheekily, “he likes me alright, he just won’t admit it.”
“He’s too old Ace. Date Marco instead,” Luffy quipped.
“Marco’s older than he looks.” He waved a man, dismissing that comment, “and he’s like an older brother to me.”
Zoro ignored them and took gulp from his drink.
Luffy looked over at Zoro, “you have to come over. If you don’t he’ll kick your ass.”
Zoro smirked, “like he can.”
“Oh he can,” Ace said, looking at him seriously, “he doesn’t care if you’re a guest, he’ll beat your ass if you cross the line.” He thought of Sabo again, “He’s done it before.”
Zoro grumbled a bit, knowing he couldn’t get out of it. Instead he chose to change the subject. “Well, what are we gonna do about the bill? The 3 of us can’t run outta here.”
Ace grabbed Zoro’s fork, picking some food off of his plate and raised it to his mouth; “we have no money, not like we have a choice.” He smirked as he chewed, “plus it’s your guy’s bill. I can walk out if I wanted to, leaving you dorks behind.”
Zoro rolled his eyes. Like he would do that.
Luffy smiled and patted Zoro’s back, “don’t worry about it. Something will come up.” He slapped Ace’s hand as he tried to get some meat from his plate. “Too bad Usopp isn’t here, he could think of a way to lie his way out.”
Ace grinned, “that long nose can lie his way outta anything. It’s truly a gift.”
“Curse for everyone else,” Zoro muttered under his breath.
Luffy finished inhaling what was left on his plate; he had even brought the plate to his lips and titled it, pushing all the food into his mouth. Ace and Zoro looked on with dismay, not being able to look away. As soon as Luffy swallowed he raised his hand, “Waiter! Bring another plate!”
Zoro grumbled into his hand, “quit ordering food you idiot.”
Ace smacked him over the head, “and say please!” He sighed and shook his head, “no manners.”
Luffy shrugged, just waiting for his plate to arrive. Zoro, deciding he might as well, ordered a Tequila Slammer to drink his problems away. Ace smirked and ordered a dish as well, because he had come with the intention of eating anyways.
The two plates and drink arrived, Luffy eating almost as fast as Zoro drank his cocktail; Ace had to laugh at them, they were quite the sight.
“So Zoro, have you thought of anything yet?” He asked, cutting up his steak with his fork and knife.
“Why me?”
“You can’t expect Luffy to think of something,” he snorted, gesturing his thumb at his kid brother.
“HEY!”
“Why don’t you think of something?”
“It’s more fun to watch you squirm,” he raised his fork, the end having a freshly cut chunk of steak on it, pausing before he ate it. “Plus, you’re the ones who got into this mess in the -” he could finish his sentence due to his narcoleptic spell kicking in.
His whole body jerked forward when he went to sleep, his face slammed down on his plate, the food cushioning the blow, lest he wake up with a broke nose. The table shifted with his impact, and his hand was still in mid air, just about to reach for his mouth. Even passed out, he didn’t lose his grip on the fork. It was hereditary that the Monkey family never surrendered food that easily.
Zoro sighed as he watched Luffy pick up his own fork and eat around Ace’s face, picking up whatever food he could get. Leave it to him to eat around an unconscious guy’s face. But it was his brother, so germs weren’t an issue.
Zoro was about to roll his eyes when an idea hit him suddenly. He had to act fast in order for it to work, but it would be worth it. In case it didn’t, he could get away with saying it had been a prank.
Half of the work was already taken care of; the entire restaurant had turned around to see Ace since he made a loud clash against the china and the table so he already had the restaurant’s attention. They all were staring at them, their eyes averting from Ace to Zoro and Luffy and back to Ace. Murmurs were heard and it was dead silence for a whole thirty seconds before Zoro yelled at the top of his lungs, scaring the customers and workers all at once.
“SNIPER!!! EVERYBODY DOWN!!!!”
There was dead silence for a whole 3 seconds before chaos fully erupted.
Some table parties dove for the floor, covering their heads and trying to make themselves flatter than the floor to evade imaginary bullets. Women were screaming, some were actually crying. A few men were as well but Zoro didn’t have time to laugh at them. Some men made a mad dash for the door, a few of them chivalrous enough to grab their women on the way out to save them from the gunfire. All in all, people were running out in complete hysteria.
Luffy had not moved the entire time and sat in his chair, staring at the commotion with a hint of curiosity and amusement. Taking his eyes away from the waiter who had dropped his serving tray and threw himself on the floor and was now crawling to the exit on his belly, he looked to Zoro, “What are you planning?”
Zoro didn’t answer as he got up from his seat and grabbed Ace around his middle and slung his over his shoulder, who, incidentally, didn’t let go of his fork. After he had a good grip on Ace he turned he yelled, “Come on Luffy!”
Luffy then understood so he grabbed the last of his meal and got up and ran towards the exit, following Zoro. Along the way he stopped to pick up abandoned dishes and carry them out with him, eating some of it along the way. Luffy also managed to flail his free arm over his head and running just as frantically as the other customers; just for show. Zoro smiled despite the situation, he knew he came in handy for something.
Outside the restaurant, a woman stood outside, being one the first ones to manage to make it outside. She stood there next to her husband who had acted fast and stole he away form the madness in time. Lucky her. “How could it have been a sniper?” she asked, puzzled.
“What do you mean?” her husband asked, looking at her strangely.
“Wouldn’t the glass break if the bullet had killed him?” She pointed to the large-scale windows that made up the restaurant, “Look, there’s no bullet hole. It couldn’t have been a sniper.”
The waiter that had been serving Luffy and Zoro then looked side-to-side, spotting three hooligans running towards the alley. “It’s eat and runs!” He yelled at the top of his voice.
He knew they were trouble; his gut feelings never lied to him.
One of the cooks raised his meat cleaver and yelled, “Get them!”
Zoro cursed his luck. “Shit!”
Luffy clamped a hand down on his straw hat and ran faster, leading the way for Zoro as he ran after him. It was easier to run now that he had gotten rid of the plates he had abducted. They made a turn from the street and ran down an alleyway. From the corner of his eye he saw several cooks chasing after them, all holding knives above their heads as they pursued them.
The cooks were several yards behind them but Luffy yelped and jumped as a salmon knife barely missed slicing his arm off. He turned his face to see Zoro barely dodging a bonding knife and a vegetable knife, a comical look of bewilderment on his face.
Luffy was laughing as he ran, “they’re all fighting cooks just like Sanji!”
“No wonder I hated that restaurant!” Zoro grumbled as they continued to run.
“Come back here you stupid kids!” One cook yelled, flinging a meat cleaver at Zoro’s head. Impale
“You think you can get away with not paying ya bunch of punks?” Another mental cook shouted, hurling a pairing knife at Luffy’s feet so he wouldn’t be able to run away anymore.
“Shit!” Zoro exclaimed as he ducked his head, avoiding decapitation in the nick of time. He gripped Ace a little tighter, not wanting to accidently drop him. “They’re almost as bad the love cook!”
“But he only kicks, they’re flinging knives at us!” Luffy remarked with delight as he jumped, the pairing knife sliding under his feet. If he hadn’t of jumped that stupid knife would have impaled his ankles.
The chefs were pissed, and they were out for blood. Luffy started laughing at the entire situation, which only served to make Zoro more pissed.
Luffy and Zoro then saw that there was a fence that they would need to jump over ahead. They hadn’t had time to notice it; since they were busy evading Luffy lethal injuries. Zoro was wondering how he would get over it, with Ace still unconscious it would be difficult to get both of them over it. Then he saw crates piled with trash bags on the other end and felt lucky for the first time that day.
When they were closer Luffy jumped on the fence and scampered over it quickly, waiting on the other end for Zoro. Zoro raised Ace over his shoulder and threw him over the fence, where he landed on top of the trash bags. Luffy frowned a little, “be careful with him!”
Zoro ignored him and jumped over the fence swiftly. Once he landed where Luffy was he threw Ace over his shoulder again and they both began to run again, disappearing down the alley as the cooks tried to jump over the fence.
They made left and rights while running down the alley, and they finally stopped to catch their breath, crouching in the corner. Zoro and Luffy were panting hard from running so much. They were regaining their energy and thankful that they didn’t received any wounds. The only misfortune to happen was that Luffy’s right flip-flop had snapped.
Zoro had set Ace down and let him lean on him so he wouldn’t fall anywhere else. Luffy peered around the corner, checking to see if he could spot a blood lusty cook. “I think we lost them.”
“I think so too,” Ace mumbled into Zoro’s shoulder. He startled them both, since they had thought him comatose until that point.
“Ace? You’re awake?” Zoro asked.
Ace grinned wickedly, “Actually I woke up when you guys were running down the alley. I just wanted to be carried.”
Zoro shoved him off, “asshole! Do you know hard it was avoiding all those meat cleavers with you on my back?”
Ace flashed a smile; “I did it for you! Think of it as a form of training Zoro dearest.”
“I’m sure that was your intention,” Zoro glared.
Luffy was laughing so hard he was clutching his stomach, “Zoro you’re so stupid!”
“Shut up Luffy!”
Ace chuckled a bit as he picked himself up and offered a hand to Zoro. Zoro’s glare went away and allowed Ace to help him up. “I think we should head home, you should sleep over Zoro, might as well.”
Zoro accepted and the three of them made their way towards Luffy and Ace’s home. Luffy had whined along the way, saying it was difficult to walk with one good sandal so Zoro ended up giving him a piggyback.
Luffy hugged Zoro’s neck harder, “Zoro, that was so funny back there.” He kicked his feet in the air from where they dangled at Zoro’s thighs, “I would have never thought to blame a sniper.”
Zoro grunted, “I had to think of something.”
Ace smiled, agreeing with Luffy that it had been an ingenious idea. “My sleeping spells are good for something aren’t they?” He nudged Zoro in the ribs, “huh? Huh?”
Luffy laughed harder in Zoro’s ears, “We should do that every time!”
“It sure beats sneaking out, that was way more fun.”
“This was a one time thing guys. I’m not carrying you again.”
[--]
Once inside the apartment that Ace and Luffy shared, they all collapsed. Zoro fell onto the love seat, his back falling on the cushions, his feet hanging off the armrest. Luffy was beside him on the floor, resting on the rug that spread out from under the coffee table. Ace threw himself backwards on the lazy boy and had his head and feet dangling off the armrest.
Ace sighed, “what a day.”
“Yeah,” Zoro agreed, “it’s worthy of an after dinner nap.”
Ace nodded, closing his eyes, about ready to join Zoro in that after dinner nap when suddenly Luffy shot up from his position on the floor, exclaiming, “Ace! We forgot to stop by the supermarket!”
Ace yawned, “It’s closed Luffy.” He raised his arms and starched, “we can go tomorrow,” he said between yawns.
“Besides,” Zoro added, yawning as well, “even if we did spot by the market, you don’t have money on you.”
Luffy eyed Zoro then reached into his pocket, pulling out a fifty. “Yeah I do.”
Ace shot up in his seat and glared, “Luffy, why do you have a fifty in your pocket?”
“It’s my money to buy meat,” Luffy calmly explained, “I always buy meat on Thursdays. They have a special on Thursdays down at Jill’s.”
“Was that in your pocket the whole time?” Zoro gritted his teeth whilst asking, drawing out the words as slowly as possible.
“Yeah, why?’
Ace threw a pillow at his face, “why didn’t you pay for the dinner if you had a fifty on you the entire time!?!”
Luffy rubbed at his cheek where the pillow had smacked him, “but Ace,” he whined, “that was for meat. I couldn’t use it for something else.”
Before Ace could say anything Zoro punched Luffy in the back of the head, “you moron!”
He had punched him hard enough to knock him unconscious. He looked at Ace with a shy smile, “sorry.”
Ace only shrugged, “I don’t mind. I would have hit him too.”
Ace reached for the control on the table and flipped the T.V. on, “saves me the trouble.” He and Zoro both flinched when cataplexy kicked in and he dropped the remote. When he regained muscle tone he picked the remote up again and they both acted like nothing had happened, ignoring Luffy as he lay on the floor drooling a little on the floor.
Zoro reclined back into the couch, crossing his arms behind his head and propping his feet on their coffee table, “so what’s on anyways?”
Ace flipped through the channels, “dunno, but tell me if you spot something interesting.” He continued to press the button on the remote when he told Zoro, “oh, and be sure wear a tie to dinner tomorrow.”
Zoro only nodded in response, it had been too long a day and he didn’t feel like wasting energy on talking.
[--]
Don't mess with cooks. They have meat cleavers.