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this morning.. i woke.. trying to be positive... saying oo.. today is going to be a good day... since yesterday WAS NOT! well.. umm everything was good.. for about an hour and then.. i thhought i would go online.. so i was talking to my friend.. then she brings up.. how i always say im depressed! she thinks i just act it... she was telling me how my life was good.. and that i should never be un-happy.. and then she said.. i have a house and parents who care for me.. and a lot of clothes.. soo i should be happy. JUST because i have a couple nice things DOESNT mean i am going to automaticly happy!! it pissed me off soo bad.. cause.. no one!! has nooo idea wat it likes to be me.. i dont tell HALF of the stuff that goes on in my life..!! then she started telling me how she should be the depressed on.. and telling me all her problems.. there are some sucky ones and i told her i was sorry.. since i amm... but.. she just started comparing.. saying oo... u shouldnt be depressed.. no one has a clue waht its like to be me.. so getting to the point.. dont judge me... just because i sometimes have a smile on my face.. doesn't mean its real! it doesnt mean that i dont go home crying everything.. doesnt mean .. i dont wanna do stupid stuff.. u have noo idea... walk in my shoes one day.. before u tell me.. i should be happy.. and my life is good... o and by the way.. i work.. and i Have to usually pay for all the clothes that i wear... i dont get it as easy as u think! DONT JUDGE people.. .. i learned something today.. and whos a good friend.. and they say f*** u.. when ur trying to tell them to walk in ur shoes one day!!! and start comparing lifes.. when they dont know ur facts.. anyways... i was soo upset already.. and fo a frined to say all that stuff.. makes u feel pretty shitty!! if u ask me!.... well... i was all sad until i got to see my boyfrined.. he makes me feel good! like.. i always feel like i am worthless.. when there is no one to talk to .. or something.. and i just forget about all the depressing crap with him.. it makes me feel like.. someone ACTUALLY cares about me!.. anyways.. this turned outt pretty!! loooong!!! lol.. didnt mean fo it too.. but.. i was soo pumped about the whole "u shouldnt be depressed" they and dont know all the stuff that goes on.. behind doors... of like school.. peace out all.. hope ur life is =just smooth! jessyca lauren mariah n porshia!!! i love you girls!! xxooxx lindsay beth