25th Inning

Jul 05, 2010 16:54

[Somewhere, in a warehouse uptown, Scout stands in front of a small film crew and a director. He's currently dressed as the impressive, glorious image of a young Soviet soldier who is defeating their capitalist and Nazi enemies and leading the loyal workers to victory.]

Okay, so, I stab this Nazi guy, then kick the American guy in tha face, then I say... what the crap, I can't read this. I don't speak Russian! What's it say? .... "Nothing will stop us! We are Russians, we will overcome!"* ...Are you freakin' serious? Awright, whatevah. Let's just get this over with.

[Later, back at home the efficiency apartment, a phone call!]

This is it? Geez. Well if this only lasts as long as Westport, whatevah, this'll be a breeze. They've made me inta some kinda movie star fer their lousy Commie movies, but it beats the factory 'n' all that. I mean, I guess I am a pretty sweet choice ta be the hero, right? 12 hour workdays kinda blow though. What they stick tha rest 'a you chucklenuts with?

[[totally taken right from an old Soviet propaganda poster, ftw

And just wait till he realizes his speed is gone. OH HO HO.]]

seriously is that all, action, glorious people's republic of scoutistan, event: soviet mayfield, voice

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