I wanted to make a list of habits I've developed or red flags that set off personal alarms because of situations I've been in with, or because of, men. So here we go
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Man...that masturbation one is so freaking skeezy...
However, don't let that stop you from looking to see who is pacing you. Something my dad pointed out to me (he's a retired state cop) is that it COULD be someone with a gun, and if that's the case, you want to get a good look at who it is and get the fuck out of their line of fire. ESPECIALLY at stop lights in dangerous areas.
I've been pretty fortunate that I haven't had even a fraction of the experiences you've had. I have had random bits touched in close quarters at concerts, but as of yet it hasn't been intentional. However, in a dorm room, a guy I was sort of friends with slid past me while I was standing behind a friend, watching them play a game on the computer. As the dude slid past me, he paused, grabbed my hips, thrust up against me, and then moved on. I was freaked out for WEEKS, and none of my guy friends even responded appropriately after I told them. I just got "Well maybe you should talk to him about it." ONE guy did say "That dude is a rapist in the making" but never actually did anything about it. I was really hurt and betrayed.
I also got minorly-stalked by a dude at a county fair when I was 18 or 19. He insisted I was someone he knew, even after my mother (who was with me) said "No, she doesn't know you." We told my dad who found a uniformed county cop at the fairgrounds, flashed his "retired" badge for the state police and alerted him to the creeper wandering around, creeping on teenage girls.
This is why I took a self-defense class in undergrad. This is why I took Tae Kwon Do in grad school, and this is why I am VERY glad that my wrestling coach on Thursday nights teaches us the real holds, as well as the "work" holds for pro-wrestling. I know how to snap a person's limbs at all the joints thanks to him.
I know that I need to look, but I do my best to not hang out there. If I can, I will speed up or slow down so I'm not right next to them.
As to concerts, I'm pretty flexible, I don't freak out of a hand inadvertently goes somewhere. Because if you've had it done once, you know that an accident is much different than "accidentally on purpose". I always apologize if my hand goes somewhere it isn't supposed to because someone was trying to squeeze through (but it's also why I keep my hands at shoulder height when I do it).
I hope someone broke that guy's hand when he did it the next time. Least, that's my hope. It's horrible that we have to be taught these things, just because guys think they're entitled to something.
However, don't let that stop you from looking to see who is pacing you. Something my dad pointed out to me (he's a retired state cop) is that it COULD be someone with a gun, and if that's the case, you want to get a good look at who it is and get the fuck out of their line of fire. ESPECIALLY at stop lights in dangerous areas.
I've been pretty fortunate that I haven't had even a fraction of the experiences you've had. I have had random bits touched in close quarters at concerts, but as of yet it hasn't been intentional. However, in a dorm room, a guy I was sort of friends with slid past me while I was standing behind a friend, watching them play a game on the computer. As the dude slid past me, he paused, grabbed my hips, thrust up against me, and then moved on. I was freaked out for WEEKS, and none of my guy friends even responded appropriately after I told them. I just got "Well maybe you should talk to him about it." ONE guy did say "That dude is a rapist in the making" but never actually did anything about it. I was really hurt and betrayed.
I also got minorly-stalked by a dude at a county fair when I was 18 or 19. He insisted I was someone he knew, even after my mother (who was with me) said "No, she doesn't know you." We told my dad who found a uniformed county cop at the fairgrounds, flashed his "retired" badge for the state police and alerted him to the creeper wandering around, creeping on teenage girls.
This is why I took a self-defense class in undergrad. This is why I took Tae Kwon Do in grad school, and this is why I am VERY glad that my wrestling coach on Thursday nights teaches us the real holds, as well as the "work" holds for pro-wrestling. I know how to snap a person's limbs at all the joints thanks to him.
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As to concerts, I'm pretty flexible, I don't freak out of a hand inadvertently goes somewhere. Because if you've had it done once, you know that an accident is much different than "accidentally on purpose". I always apologize if my hand goes somewhere it isn't supposed to because someone was trying to squeeze through (but it's also why I keep my hands at shoulder height when I do it).
I hope someone broke that guy's hand when he did it the next time. Least, that's my hope. It's horrible that we have to be taught these things, just because guys think they're entitled to something.
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