Writing....
I need to get better at this, so I'm just typing something since I have time. :) I'm waking up earlier and getting out of bed faster, so my hope is that I'll start to get into the habit of writing something down, and maybe start getting back into the less superficial crap I've been writing. There's a lot that I've been thinking of, lokasenna's parting anniversary was a few weeks ago. So that is still in my head, still brings tears to my eyes, and there is stuff to pour out onto this digital paper about it. Yoga stuff to write, some bitch venting about acceptance and the crap I do to myself (which is the hardest part to accept).
But to say life is improving is true. The business is on the up right now. Not where I want it to be, and my scheduling sometimes leaves me hitting myself for failing to maintain my set boundaries. But hey, it happens and I need to learn to get over it. That whole speaking up thing and saying "no" is sometimes still a work in progress. I have amazing co-workers and clients who are more than willing to toss their wisdom at me, with a sense of humour, to try and help me back on track. But I am hopeful at the direction that work is going, and I can't wait to get back to the stuff I do best, integrated therapy.
Also, need to get better about working out, somehow. I've gained more weight than I would like, and lost a lot of muscle in the last few years. And this goes back to my boundaries, because I set time in each day to go to the gym or workout somehow. And when I violate my boundaries, it means that doesn't get done. Yesterday was a big one, and I'm still kicking myself for it. 2 reasons, I felt that my time was not being valued (the client I agreed to take on, last minute, told me one time when we started talking and called back with another time - which totally devoured both my workout time and my lunch) Me, instead of holding to my, "I'm sorry, but that time isn't available" hesitated and said "OK", which threw off my sugar levels for the rest of the day because I had a half-assed snack after the shakes were already starting up. So, the session sucked for me. I didn't feel like I did anything for him. He said he felt better, but obviously wasn't where he wanted to be (but I don't believe he would have been, anyway). Didn't have enough time to really discuss the issue, or what was really going on with him, and that is not how I want those kind of sessions to go, at all. Very disappointed with that. But yeah, "Oh well." Just a good reminder, so a note will get taped to my computer screen, to remind me that my schedule boundaries are there for a justified reason - to provide a quality service, and to keep my mind at peace.
But to say life is improving is true. The business is on the up right now. Not where I want it to be, and my scheduling sometimes leaves me hitting myself for failing to maintain my set boundaries. But hey, it happens and I need to learn to get over it. That whole speaking up thing and saying "no" is sometimes still a work in progress. I have amazing co-workers and clients who are more than willing to toss their wisdom at me, with a sense of humour, to try and help me back on track. But I am hopeful at the direction that work is going, and I can't wait to get back to the stuff I do best, integrated therapy.
Also, need to get better about working out, somehow. I've gained more weight than I would like, and lost a lot of muscle in the last few years. And this goes back to my boundaries, because I set time in each day to go to the gym or workout somehow. And when I violate my boundaries, it means that doesn't get done. Yesterday was a big one, and I'm still kicking myself for it. 2 reasons, I felt that my time was not being valued (the client I agreed to take on, last minute, told me one time when we started talking and called back with another time - which totally devoured both my workout time and my lunch) Me, instead of holding to my, "I'm sorry, but that time isn't available" hesitated and said "OK", which threw off my sugar levels for the rest of the day because I had a half-assed snack after the shakes were already starting up. So, the session sucked for me. I didn't feel like I did anything for him. He said he felt better, but obviously wasn't where he wanted to be (but I don't believe he would have been, anyway). Didn't have enough time to really discuss the issue, or what was really going on with him, and that is not how I want those kind of sessions to go, at all. Very disappointed with that. But yeah, "Oh well." Just a good reminder, so a note will get taped to my computer screen, to remind me that my schedule boundaries are there for a justified reason - to provide a quality service, and to keep my mind at peace.