Return of anxiety????
I have no idea what is going on, I'm anxious, and the latter part of my digestive process are not happy with it. This is the first time in months that I've felt this, and prior to YTT it was the result of overwhelming amounts of stress. There's only one thing I'm stressed about right now (wild guess), and that's never changed, but it's never caused this kind of reaction. I'm also starting to get heart flutters again, which is really odd, as I cut caffeine about the same time these symptoms went away. Adrenals are back on hyper-alert, I'm constantly thinking about BJJ tournaments and other adrenaline related things. But when I meditate it's like all of that never even happened. My brain is completely clear, I'm not fluttering through every little detail of every little thing. My asana practice has improved, managed a 2 hour practice last night and was completely focused and observant about what was going on with the body. No outside thoughts, other than Lexus wanting to share savasana with my head. Hell, even got a ILS muscle release with supported fish. But no conscious direction on what's going on with the tummy.
Maybe it's just too much going on right now. Trying to plan my weekend jaunt to Burney, CA and the trip to France to pick up the Pastry (both of which are the cause of stress). But it needs to be done, IMO, neither is something that I can skip or delay, at this point.
I guess I could also say that I'm a bit worried and placing more pressure on myself than needed. For multiple, natural, reasons, I have to step into Priestess mode. Hell, I've been training for this, and it's been part of my path. When first asked it was a natural answer and progression so it wasn't anything to worry about. Now, there's more to it than just leading a ritual, I'm stepping in as an actual life role and my brain didn't really wrap around that aspect at the time. And words have failed me more times than I have liked in the last few weeks.
But at least my closet is looking better. Need to take panoramic pictures of it. And by May I can stop being online all the time.
Maybe it's just too much going on right now. Trying to plan my weekend jaunt to Burney, CA and the trip to France to pick up the Pastry (both of which are the cause of stress). But it needs to be done, IMO, neither is something that I can skip or delay, at this point.
I guess I could also say that I'm a bit worried and placing more pressure on myself than needed. For multiple, natural, reasons, I have to step into Priestess mode. Hell, I've been training for this, and it's been part of my path. When first asked it was a natural answer and progression so it wasn't anything to worry about. Now, there's more to it than just leading a ritual, I'm stepping in as an actual life role and my brain didn't really wrap around that aspect at the time. And words have failed me more times than I have liked in the last few weeks.
But at least my closet is looking better. Need to take panoramic pictures of it. And by May I can stop being online all the time.