I made a fire and watching it burn thought of your future.
I am knacked, but I do feel really motivated.
I had Emma and Kelly over yesterday we camped in the garden well I lasted till about 4amish and my back well it just started hurting so I decided rather than laying there in pain I would come in, and try and sleep, which I did, and although my back is slightly stiff and somewhat painful its a lot better.
Emma and Kelly was asleep pretty much by 10ish, so I spent some time Meditating, mostly trying to content with the earth, and deity.
And I spent some time with Herne, or rather he spent some time with me.
Now whenever Herne seems to pop up, its normally to tell me in well a straight way that I’m lazy, and to point out any problematic areas of my life.
He has only ever really came to me once before, and I must admit that time I meet him wasn’t well, it wasn’t exactly a highly pleasant experience, if that makes any sense.
I suppose that why I limit myself with the God side of deity because I always find that the male side is not as well cuddly as the Goddess.
Modron did pop up, but it was only briefly.
But from conversations throughout today with Kelly, and the meditation last night and the time I have had myself to mull things over, have made me even more determined to continue and to also pick up the slack in different areas of my life.
I’m not on the path I want to be.
I’m almost where I would like to be at least some what, I mean yeah I think it would be nice to have my own place, but even if I had a resonable paying job I dont think it would be currently possible, especially round this area.
For the most part it would be just nice to have friends round, without worrying.
So yeah back to where I was at, I’ve already set my weekly goal and my day goals for this coming week.
Starting from 2moro, I want to try and eat more healthy this means having breakfast, which let me add I mostly struggle with.
Either a 2 sliced sandwich or soup for lunch, and a smaller dinner, but also balanced.
And of course sticking to my water quota.
As well as keeping up with my skin routine4
And Ground every morning.
Need to email mum at some point to find out when I’m actually going away.
Other goals, I’m going to switch my computer off at 10.30pm, and read.
I’m also starting to wicca work with Kelly, and going to re start the tarot work.
As well as getting stuff made.
This week I’m going to make 4 complete staves and have them done, as well as sorting a ebay account out, and having it sorted and ready to go on.
I’m going to have a routine of working Monday 9-5 with a hour for lunch.
Tuesday is going to be any paper work, from 9-11 12 lunch 12.30 leave to work at the shop Wez - Friday 9-5.
Everyday from 5 I need to spend at least a hour of pagan study, I think I might choose a subject as well as my other things I’m learning, maybe do it on alternate days, maybe learn my herbs or something, I don’t think Ill start that till next month now tho, although that not exactly far away.
Getting up at 8.00 to be dressed and had breakfast by 8.45 to start work by 9am.
I know this may seem like a strict schedule, but I need to be strict with myself.
Mondays are away slightly jumbled, because its normally the day I spend doing washing and stuff, but I just need to make sure that its all fitted around my work.
I think all of these goals are achievable.
I really do feel that finally my life is starting to begin and is slowly moving in the right direction.
:)
I watched Boys dont cry earlier, what an amazing yet sad film.
Always enough of my waffling.
Night peeps.
x
My diary
My secret...
I had Emma and Kelly over yesterday we camped in the garden well I lasted till about 4amish and my back well it just started hurting so I decided rather than laying there in pain I would come in, and try and sleep, which I did, and although my back is slightly stiff and somewhat painful its a lot better.
Emma and Kelly was asleep pretty much by 10ish, so I spent some time Meditating, mostly trying to content with the earth, and deity.
And I spent some time with Herne, or rather he spent some time with me.
Now whenever Herne seems to pop up, its normally to tell me in well a straight way that I’m lazy, and to point out any problematic areas of my life.
He has only ever really came to me once before, and I must admit that time I meet him wasn’t well, it wasn’t exactly a highly pleasant experience, if that makes any sense.
I suppose that why I limit myself with the God side of deity because I always find that the male side is not as well cuddly as the Goddess.
Modron did pop up, but it was only briefly.
But from conversations throughout today with Kelly, and the meditation last night and the time I have had myself to mull things over, have made me even more determined to continue and to also pick up the slack in different areas of my life.
I’m not on the path I want to be.
I’m almost where I would like to be at least some what, I mean yeah I think it would be nice to have my own place, but even if I had a resonable paying job I dont think it would be currently possible, especially round this area.
For the most part it would be just nice to have friends round, without worrying.
So yeah back to where I was at, I’ve already set my weekly goal and my day goals for this coming week.
Starting from 2moro, I want to try and eat more healthy this means having breakfast, which let me add I mostly struggle with.
Either a 2 sliced sandwich or soup for lunch, and a smaller dinner, but also balanced.
And of course sticking to my water quota.
As well as keeping up with my skin routine4
And Ground every morning.
Need to email mum at some point to find out when I’m actually going away.
Other goals, I’m going to switch my computer off at 10.30pm, and read.
I’m also starting to wicca work with Kelly, and going to re start the tarot work.
As well as getting stuff made.
This week I’m going to make 4 complete staves and have them done, as well as sorting a ebay account out, and having it sorted and ready to go on.
I’m going to have a routine of working Monday 9-5 with a hour for lunch.
Tuesday is going to be any paper work, from 9-11 12 lunch 12.30 leave to work at the shop Wez - Friday 9-5.
Everyday from 5 I need to spend at least a hour of pagan study, I think I might choose a subject as well as my other things I’m learning, maybe do it on alternate days, maybe learn my herbs or something, I don’t think Ill start that till next month now tho, although that not exactly far away.
Getting up at 8.00 to be dressed and had breakfast by 8.45 to start work by 9am.
I know this may seem like a strict schedule, but I need to be strict with myself.
Mondays are away slightly jumbled, because its normally the day I spend doing washing and stuff, but I just need to make sure that its all fitted around my work.
I think all of these goals are achievable.
I really do feel that finally my life is starting to begin and is slowly moving in the right direction.
:)
I watched Boys dont cry earlier, what an amazing yet sad film.
Always enough of my waffling.
Night peeps.
x
My diary
My secret...