(no subject)
I don't want to be alone forever... but I simply can't imagine forever being without you... and maybe that does mean forever.
I've been putting off how I feel about running into him again Friday night for a while. When people ask me, I just give the response "I'm alright. Just really confused." Well... I guess I'll admit it. I'm not confused. At all. In fact, a big part of me wishes I was confused. That way I could at least justify my own petty heartbreak as something... profound or a bit more significant.
After 9 months of going without seeing him... I was just starting to overcome this feeling of need for him. Almost this obsession. Sick, Fucked up obsession. I've never moved on since I met him two years ago tomorrow. Sometimes i forget how sick and twisted the situation really is. Either way... Friday was like ripping a bandaid off of a wound that had just started to heal.
To know that you say that you "feel bad" about the situation makes it even harder. Why are you goddamn stubborn to not admit your mistakes and give me peace of mind? If you feel so fucking awful, why did you never apologize? You can't stand the thought of me knowing about you or your life. I don't think there's anyone in the world who has been this "stuck" on someone. Fucking sick.
And I just had to go about and investigate things that would piss me off more... like how he started hanging out with his ex again this summer. He's also been going to this bar in Ypsi quite a bit lately. I wish he'd just steer clear of me right now.
I really just need to feel like I felt a week ago today. Much, much more secure about myself and how I felt about Anthony...
"I'm just here to remind you. Remind you not to forget to remember me..."
I've been putting off how I feel about running into him again Friday night for a while. When people ask me, I just give the response "I'm alright. Just really confused." Well... I guess I'll admit it. I'm not confused. At all. In fact, a big part of me wishes I was confused. That way I could at least justify my own petty heartbreak as something... profound or a bit more significant.
After 9 months of going without seeing him... I was just starting to overcome this feeling of need for him. Almost this obsession. Sick, Fucked up obsession. I've never moved on since I met him two years ago tomorrow. Sometimes i forget how sick and twisted the situation really is. Either way... Friday was like ripping a bandaid off of a wound that had just started to heal.
To know that you say that you "feel bad" about the situation makes it even harder. Why are you goddamn stubborn to not admit your mistakes and give me peace of mind? If you feel so fucking awful, why did you never apologize? You can't stand the thought of me knowing about you or your life. I don't think there's anyone in the world who has been this "stuck" on someone. Fucking sick.
And I just had to go about and investigate things that would piss me off more... like how he started hanging out with his ex again this summer. He's also been going to this bar in Ypsi quite a bit lately. I wish he'd just steer clear of me right now.
I really just need to feel like I felt a week ago today. Much, much more secure about myself and how I felt about Anthony...
"I'm just here to remind you. Remind you not to forget to remember me..."