I'm here
[locked from Lex]
I'm at the farm with my parents. It was like coming home after being away for years. I felt at once a stranger but not. It's hard to describe what I'm feeling. These days I feel almost detached from my own emotions.
I need to keep as busy as possible. There is no end to what needs doing here, and right now, I like that. The first thing I'm going to fixed is the loft. It was still a mess from what had happened. The old wood needs to be burned and new wood put in its place.
I feel more myself now than I have in a while. It's not that being in the city with Lex wasn't working, because it's where I want to be. I know where I belong. I need him and he needs me. When I'm alone, Lex is always on my mind. I know I can count on him. I know he'll always be there to protect me, and be what I need when I need it.
I told Lex late one night after we'd had amazing sex that I miss my home. I knew the worlds had stung and wished I could have taken them back the moment I spoke them out loud, but it was too late. I couldn't change it. Lex showed no sign that they had hurt, but I know him. When he dropped me off at the farm this morning, I held him and kissed him and told him I'd see him soon. He stayed long enough to speak to my mom and dad. He said he wants to give me time to recover. I wanted to tell him that I already have recovered because of him, but I knew no words would change his mind. I know he's just a phone call away. He's in the city. I could have said something and asked him to stay at the mansion so we'd be closer, but I didn't want to make demands. Besides, I'm a grown man now. I can take a few days away from my husband.
I'm at the farm with my parents. It was like coming home after being away for years. I felt at once a stranger but not. It's hard to describe what I'm feeling. These days I feel almost detached from my own emotions.
I need to keep as busy as possible. There is no end to what needs doing here, and right now, I like that. The first thing I'm going to fixed is the loft. It was still a mess from what had happened. The old wood needs to be burned and new wood put in its place.
I feel more myself now than I have in a while. It's not that being in the city with Lex wasn't working, because it's where I want to be. I know where I belong. I need him and he needs me. When I'm alone, Lex is always on my mind. I know I can count on him. I know he'll always be there to protect me, and be what I need when I need it.
I told Lex late one night after we'd had amazing sex that I miss my home. I knew the worlds had stung and wished I could have taken them back the moment I spoke them out loud, but it was too late. I couldn't change it. Lex showed no sign that they had hurt, but I know him. When he dropped me off at the farm this morning, I held him and kissed him and told him I'd see him soon. He stayed long enough to speak to my mom and dad. He said he wants to give me time to recover. I wanted to tell him that I already have recovered because of him, but I knew no words would change his mind. I know he's just a phone call away. He's in the city. I could have said something and asked him to stay at the mansion so we'd be closer, but I didn't want to make demands. Besides, I'm a grown man now. I can take a few days away from my husband.