It's too much
How am I supposed to ever trust anybody ever again?
This past week, I've buried myself in distractions because all that I've learned over the course of the month has been so overwhelming. I want to run and hide in my fortress of solitude, but I can't hide. I can't run. I have to face my fears.
I woke up this morning to find Lex holding me in his arms. He said I'd cried out again in my sleep. He said I called his name. We stayed that way for a while even though I knew Lex needed to get to work. I didn't want to let go. He even said he'd stay with me all day if I needed him. I looked up into his eyes at that moment and saw so much sorrow. I wanted to make it better. We kissed and we obviously had the same thing on our minds, because one thing led to another. It was a perfect moment where I completely forgot everything. I lost myself in Lex's body. His kisses and his touch were so perfect.
We made love. It was passion filled, and all I wanted was to make Lex feel good. There were no words, just action. Our bodies entwined and as I lay beneath him, our eyes locked. I wanted to turn away because I could feel the tears building, but Lex brushed them away and whispered words of encouragement in my ear as he brought me to orgasm. It's hard to express exactly what I was feeling. Maybe safe is the best word to use.
After it was over, I thanked Lex, which was kind of weird, but at the time it felt like the right thing to say. We cleaned up and he stayed with me a while longer. We didn't say much. I told him that I planned to go to the Planet to help Chloe with a story she'd been working on. I didn't want to talk about why I'd gotten so emotional. It was embarrassing and kind of humiliating, but not because of anything Lex said or did.
I meant to write about how I was betrayed so badly by people who I thought I could trust, but this is what came out instead. Even now, I can't help but smile when I think of what Lex and I did this morning. It had been so long since we were that intimate. I really missed him. I definitely missed his body against mine. It's obvious that I'm really not ready to deal with the implications of what I've discovered. How could I have been so wrong about Virgil Swann? I trusted him and he betrayed me so completely.
I better get going. Chloe's called three times already.
This past week, I've buried myself in distractions because all that I've learned over the course of the month has been so overwhelming. I want to run and hide in my fortress of solitude, but I can't hide. I can't run. I have to face my fears.
I woke up this morning to find Lex holding me in his arms. He said I'd cried out again in my sleep. He said I called his name. We stayed that way for a while even though I knew Lex needed to get to work. I didn't want to let go. He even said he'd stay with me all day if I needed him. I looked up into his eyes at that moment and saw so much sorrow. I wanted to make it better. We kissed and we obviously had the same thing on our minds, because one thing led to another. It was a perfect moment where I completely forgot everything. I lost myself in Lex's body. His kisses and his touch were so perfect.
We made love. It was passion filled, and all I wanted was to make Lex feel good. There were no words, just action. Our bodies entwined and as I lay beneath him, our eyes locked. I wanted to turn away because I could feel the tears building, but Lex brushed them away and whispered words of encouragement in my ear as he brought me to orgasm. It's hard to express exactly what I was feeling. Maybe safe is the best word to use.
After it was over, I thanked Lex, which was kind of weird, but at the time it felt like the right thing to say. We cleaned up and he stayed with me a while longer. We didn't say much. I told him that I planned to go to the Planet to help Chloe with a story she'd been working on. I didn't want to talk about why I'd gotten so emotional. It was embarrassing and kind of humiliating, but not because of anything Lex said or did.
I meant to write about how I was betrayed so badly by people who I thought I could trust, but this is what came out instead. Even now, I can't help but smile when I think of what Lex and I did this morning. It had been so long since we were that intimate. I really missed him. I definitely missed his body against mine. It's obvious that I'm really not ready to deal with the implications of what I've discovered. How could I have been so wrong about Virgil Swann? I trusted him and he betrayed me so completely.
I better get going. Chloe's called three times already.