(no subject)
I'm happy to report that the date went well. We had a great conversation! It flowed well, with lots of laughs and no awkward silences. She's an interesting, artistic, quirky lady, not to mention attractive...my inner lust was particularly stirred when she mentioned having a closet full of fetish outfits ;)
She seemed really upbeat and laid back (especially for a goth!), and despite my subtle attempts, I was unable to detect a dark side, thankfully. But hey, we all know I've been severely fooled in that sense before, right? I'd like to think I know exactly what signs to look for now however, and some strategic questions can unearth potential red flags that my radar is on full alert for.
So all in all a good experience, and I thank all of you who helped me with your sage advice, which came in handy. I can only speak for myself, but I think we got along very well and I do believe there was sufficient chemistry present to indicate further potential.
One thing I did notice afterwards was how different I am now, and not in a good way. If this "meeting" had happened to me a year ago, I would have been ecstatic, delighted, over the moon with enthusiasm. Now though, given what I went through, it's little more than quiet, reserved, cautious optimism with a smattering of skepticism. I find it difficult to trust the way I did before, and I'm saddened that despite a good experience that I'm beholden to a level of cynicism within that could prove to be an emotional obstacle. I hate that I've become slightly colder in demeanor towards new people, and I wish I could ignore that.
The question now is, how do I proceed? I keep complaining that I don't want to be single, yet the thought of a serious commitment isn't all that appealing either. Half of me says I should pursue this lady, and the other half says I should keep my options open and try to date a bunch of different women before deciding on who I would ideally like to become exclusive with. I'm very confused. I had no such complicated doubts floating around in my head last year. I really miss that sort of clarity.
I feel like I should call this lady up in a few days to arrange a nice dinner to explore any romantic potential, but at the same time I want to explore other possibilities. But what if I spoil this due to a lack of focus? Shouldn't I just be satisfied that I met someone who, at least on the surface after one meeting seems to have a bunch of the qualities I look for? Argh, I don't know what I should do. The only thing that's certain to me right now is that the status quo of me being single and not dating is unacceptable.
She seemed really upbeat and laid back (especially for a goth!), and despite my subtle attempts, I was unable to detect a dark side, thankfully. But hey, we all know I've been severely fooled in that sense before, right? I'd like to think I know exactly what signs to look for now however, and some strategic questions can unearth potential red flags that my radar is on full alert for.
So all in all a good experience, and I thank all of you who helped me with your sage advice, which came in handy. I can only speak for myself, but I think we got along very well and I do believe there was sufficient chemistry present to indicate further potential.
One thing I did notice afterwards was how different I am now, and not in a good way. If this "meeting" had happened to me a year ago, I would have been ecstatic, delighted, over the moon with enthusiasm. Now though, given what I went through, it's little more than quiet, reserved, cautious optimism with a smattering of skepticism. I find it difficult to trust the way I did before, and I'm saddened that despite a good experience that I'm beholden to a level of cynicism within that could prove to be an emotional obstacle. I hate that I've become slightly colder in demeanor towards new people, and I wish I could ignore that.
The question now is, how do I proceed? I keep complaining that I don't want to be single, yet the thought of a serious commitment isn't all that appealing either. Half of me says I should pursue this lady, and the other half says I should keep my options open and try to date a bunch of different women before deciding on who I would ideally like to become exclusive with. I'm very confused. I had no such complicated doubts floating around in my head last year. I really miss that sort of clarity.
I feel like I should call this lady up in a few days to arrange a nice dinner to explore any romantic potential, but at the same time I want to explore other possibilities. But what if I spoil this due to a lack of focus? Shouldn't I just be satisfied that I met someone who, at least on the surface after one meeting seems to have a bunch of the qualities I look for? Argh, I don't know what I should do. The only thing that's certain to me right now is that the status quo of me being single and not dating is unacceptable.