(no subject)
So.
I have a "meeting" in a couple of days with a lady. I don't want to call it a date because it'll be the first time we'll meet in person, and we hardly know anything about each other beyond some of the basics (we met online recently). I think first meetings are usually meant to gather the information necessary to decide if an actual date is desirable. And of course there has to be chemistry and mutual attraction, which is also determined at a first "meeting".
I've done a couple of these coffee type things in the past few months, but this is the first one since August (when my ex dumped me) with clear romantic intent on both sides, so I'm feeling the pressure. I'm very excited because as far as style, interests, and looks go, this lady seems to be very much my type. At the same time I'm quite nervous because I don't want to fuck up. When I met my ex a year ago for the first time I had virtually zero expectations - I wasn't thinking about romance or a relationship, I was just meeting a nice girl I had talked to online for years to show her some of the clubs, and as you all know, there was an explosive chemistry the instant we met that totally took me by surprise. This time it's different. This time I do have a desire for something more than another friend so the stakes are higher. The last thing I wanted 6 months ago was to be forced to be single again, and that hasn't changed - I can't stand not having a special person in my life and I really want to fix that. The fine balancing act however between enthusiasm and desperation can be difficult to straddle.
I need tips! Any suggestions other than the useless "just be yourself" would be most welcome. Even if nothing comes out of this meeting, I want to be secure in my mind that I did everything right on my end of things. One problem I seem to have is not knowing when to be a bit more flirty or forward. I tend to play it pretty conservatively when it comes to flirting (because of an assumption on my part that they'll think I'm acting sleazy), but that can have the opposite effect of coming across as not being interested, which I obviously don't want. Argh, this is so frustrating.
She suggesting meeting at 7 West, which I've never been to. I'm not sure what to wear! Something neutral like all black can't hurt, but I don't mean a t-shirt and jeans. Hmmm. She's also been involved in the goth scene for a very long time like myself, so she's not the conservative, mainstream type. Another significant difference is that she's several years older than me, which is quite the change from the last few women I've met who were much younger than me. Hopefully that means that I won't have to deal with the rampant immaturity I had to put up with in the past.
I was thinking about dyeing my hair again as well. I haven't done it since September, so obviously all the lovely black (which looked amazing on me) is gone and I'm back to my boring natural brown.
Help a good guy out!
I have a "meeting" in a couple of days with a lady. I don't want to call it a date because it'll be the first time we'll meet in person, and we hardly know anything about each other beyond some of the basics (we met online recently). I think first meetings are usually meant to gather the information necessary to decide if an actual date is desirable. And of course there has to be chemistry and mutual attraction, which is also determined at a first "meeting".
I've done a couple of these coffee type things in the past few months, but this is the first one since August (when my ex dumped me) with clear romantic intent on both sides, so I'm feeling the pressure. I'm very excited because as far as style, interests, and looks go, this lady seems to be very much my type. At the same time I'm quite nervous because I don't want to fuck up. When I met my ex a year ago for the first time I had virtually zero expectations - I wasn't thinking about romance or a relationship, I was just meeting a nice girl I had talked to online for years to show her some of the clubs, and as you all know, there was an explosive chemistry the instant we met that totally took me by surprise. This time it's different. This time I do have a desire for something more than another friend so the stakes are higher. The last thing I wanted 6 months ago was to be forced to be single again, and that hasn't changed - I can't stand not having a special person in my life and I really want to fix that. The fine balancing act however between enthusiasm and desperation can be difficult to straddle.
I need tips! Any suggestions other than the useless "just be yourself" would be most welcome. Even if nothing comes out of this meeting, I want to be secure in my mind that I did everything right on my end of things. One problem I seem to have is not knowing when to be a bit more flirty or forward. I tend to play it pretty conservatively when it comes to flirting (because of an assumption on my part that they'll think I'm acting sleazy), but that can have the opposite effect of coming across as not being interested, which I obviously don't want. Argh, this is so frustrating.
She suggesting meeting at 7 West, which I've never been to. I'm not sure what to wear! Something neutral like all black can't hurt, but I don't mean a t-shirt and jeans. Hmmm. She's also been involved in the goth scene for a very long time like myself, so she's not the conservative, mainstream type. Another significant difference is that she's several years older than me, which is quite the change from the last few women I've met who were much younger than me. Hopefully that means that I won't have to deal with the rampant immaturity I had to put up with in the past.
I was thinking about dyeing my hair again as well. I haven't done it since September, so obviously all the lovely black (which looked amazing on me) is gone and I'm back to my boring natural brown.
Help a good guy out!