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Nov 11, 2010 12:49

11/11/2010
Just a thought...I don't know if it is actually something that was linked to my depression or not. But it seems that it's always the way I have been.....

For the longest time I found that my interest skips a lot...I may or will have an intense interest in a topic and it soon will go away. Like my interest in men....I may be keen on them for a week then "whatever" (which is the difference I have with Hayden then any other guy I have seen since Trevor.) I have a lack of focus and concentration....It's almost like *working working working "oh blue birdie" watches birdie; gets lost*

At the moment I don't have much of an appitate to speak of....I have gone back to not eating breakfast and only having a drink in the morning....I will eat breakfast since my Mum usually brings something in for everyone....Dinner is more of a case of if I can be bothered to cook when I get home from work, even though some days I come home at 4pm...Sometimes I still CBF-ed

XD...

14/11/2010
Oh yes I think I have come to the conclusion of WHY I despise Trevor so much...I still care about his well being.

His little sister the other day told me that he got drunk and pissed on a pair of her boots (seems from talking to another friend that it was almost a case of "he pee-ed on me")...Either way it's NOT the first time he's done shit like this...I wasn't happy at his actions whether drunk or not...She finishes by telling me that he slept in because of him being drunk and missed a Dr's appointment...So consiquently he has been without his meds for like 2 weeks...2 FUCKEN WEEKS!...Just bloody shows he can NOT look after himself.

Sam is in a shit house situation atm, she is boarding with her brothers for a while until the people she is moving in with find a place. Seems they are fucken dragging their feet and REALLY limiting themselves...They want to live in a suburb called Joondalup, which for Sam will make things HARD because she doesn't have a license and relises on public transport to get her places...AND they want a NEW house...Sam isn't really fussed as long as she has a place to go. She might have to get rid of her lil kitty cat (it's going up to her Mum's place) to make things easier when finding a place.

She gives the impression that her opinion doesn't matter when it comes to finding a place with these people (her boyfriend and some of his 2 friends) I told her to voice her opinion and get things moving again. Since she is going to be LIVING there and p[ossibly will have HER NAME on the lease. She isn't the most confident of people...and that was just enforced even more by her now long ex-boyfriend Cristian (he was a FUCKEN DICKHEAD...had sex with her while she was asleep, made her use the toilet with the door open (said it was about trust)...and just fuck, no words can say how much I want to end that person. And he kept on buying her forgiveness with toys, rats, other animals like ferret's and cats...etc) Either way the guy she is with atm is like 200% better then her ex....he is trying to undo years of brain washing...Also she's on meds and anti-depressants now...Which Cristian's family denied her....For some fucken STUPID REASON. She has a mental condition that NEEDS medication, it's not just depression that you can actually work through...

Ranting aside...Sam is stuck living on her brother's couch for the time being as if she were to live with me for that time rent would be too much for her :(....And while yes it would be nice to help her out I can't just hand shit out anymore...Sure a couple of days I wouldn't ask for any money, just some help around the place and company....But this'd be anywhere from 2-4+ weeks....

So Trev is stuck in the "feeling sorry for myself/BAW" stage...being all emo and shit, clinging onto his ex-goth days....It's sad really.

life, trevor, rant

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