It's another one of _those_ posts.
Been a while. I'm a lousy netgeek.
Inevitably, when I feel like I need to update this journal, it's because I'm mulling things over in my head and come to stark realisations.
In short, I'm taking a small holiday to Londinium. Never been. Seriously do need to see a hell of a lot of history and museums over there (the top of which at my list is the Ashmoleon. I would give it all up to work there). So really, it's about time I went. This - naturally - means that I've maxed out my credit card, and can't actually afford accomodation over there. Not to worry! I can stay with my oldest friend. For the most part. Just not the first week. It's hard to ask a nurse to give up a hard earned holiday away to entertain a friend.
But never fear! I know people. I can name at least 5 friends I know that live in London. Chances are, I'll be able to stay a night or two with some of them, thus making up my week. Right?
Which leads me to our daily emo'ing. A flurry of excitement to tell people I hadn't seen in years that I was visiting resulted in the discovery that I had tragically been unfriended on facebook by two of these ex-pats.
Now, unfriending isn't exactly uncommon. We all do it - including myself. I've enjoyed a ruthless cull of people I barely knew from my social networks. Usually for reasons of not seeing them since primary school. Or wondering why they added me in the first place - didn't you used to poke fun at my scrawnyness?
But I'd been through a lot with this one particular person. It wasn't just a passing aquaintance - she was there through a lot of shit in my life, and me in hers. And although we've never been the 'OMG braid my hair, wear this bracelet' type of friends, I honestly thought that she'd be someone I could still email, or message after years of not seeing each other and say 'hey!'. I guess that's where my distinction lies. SHe was someone that I honestly was surprised to find out that I've been removed from the list. I have a whole list of people I don't speak to as much any more - usually for reasons of distance - that is something important happened in my life, I'd want them to know and I'd be honoured if they shared it with me.
Which got me thinking. Theatre breeds shit friends.
There. I said it. You all know it's true. Most of those connections you make at the theatre, are probably not real. It's all very intense, you're in close quarters, in each others pockets for months, and then usually it goes away. These situations are usually easy to get over. If there's anyone there you keep up a friendship with, generally, you'll both make the effort. But occassionally, you get so ingrained in a company that you see these same people time and time again, and it's easy to think that you've created a circle. I ran into someone else at a show the other night. I was seeing a friend perform, but didn't know this other person was involved. Instead of an excited hello (much like the one I was giving them), I got a cordial greeting. Like in a job interview.
When I think about it. Really think about it, there are maybe 5 people in my life who have always been there. Who would drop everything to see me, if they can. And I'll drop everything to see them. And those same 5 or so people get it when life intervenes, and aren't upset that they don't hear from you in a while.
So I'm in this point in my life, where the people I see most often, are my partner's friends - because my partner attracts the kind of person who values friendship. Not that this is a bad thing, they're awesome people, and I'm getting to know new people each day. But I can't help but wonder why I can't seem to hang onto any of my own too well. Perhaps I'm just a shitty friend - not worth the time and energy. Now, I feel like I'm getting too old. Like I missed my chance. New people already have their close friends, their support networks; and while they'll happily welcome a new body to the ensemble, really, the show has already been cast for years. (See what I did there?)
Inevitably, when I feel like I need to update this journal, it's because I'm mulling things over in my head and come to stark realisations.
In short, I'm taking a small holiday to Londinium. Never been. Seriously do need to see a hell of a lot of history and museums over there (the top of which at my list is the Ashmoleon. I would give it all up to work there). So really, it's about time I went. This - naturally - means that I've maxed out my credit card, and can't actually afford accomodation over there. Not to worry! I can stay with my oldest friend. For the most part. Just not the first week. It's hard to ask a nurse to give up a hard earned holiday away to entertain a friend.
But never fear! I know people. I can name at least 5 friends I know that live in London. Chances are, I'll be able to stay a night or two with some of them, thus making up my week. Right?
Which leads me to our daily emo'ing. A flurry of excitement to tell people I hadn't seen in years that I was visiting resulted in the discovery that I had tragically been unfriended on facebook by two of these ex-pats.
Now, unfriending isn't exactly uncommon. We all do it - including myself. I've enjoyed a ruthless cull of people I barely knew from my social networks. Usually for reasons of not seeing them since primary school. Or wondering why they added me in the first place - didn't you used to poke fun at my scrawnyness?
But I'd been through a lot with this one particular person. It wasn't just a passing aquaintance - she was there through a lot of shit in my life, and me in hers. And although we've never been the 'OMG braid my hair, wear this bracelet' type of friends, I honestly thought that she'd be someone I could still email, or message after years of not seeing each other and say 'hey!'. I guess that's where my distinction lies. SHe was someone that I honestly was surprised to find out that I've been removed from the list. I have a whole list of people I don't speak to as much any more - usually for reasons of distance - that is something important happened in my life, I'd want them to know and I'd be honoured if they shared it with me.
Which got me thinking. Theatre breeds shit friends.
There. I said it. You all know it's true. Most of those connections you make at the theatre, are probably not real. It's all very intense, you're in close quarters, in each others pockets for months, and then usually it goes away. These situations are usually easy to get over. If there's anyone there you keep up a friendship with, generally, you'll both make the effort. But occassionally, you get so ingrained in a company that you see these same people time and time again, and it's easy to think that you've created a circle. I ran into someone else at a show the other night. I was seeing a friend perform, but didn't know this other person was involved. Instead of an excited hello (much like the one I was giving them), I got a cordial greeting. Like in a job interview.
When I think about it. Really think about it, there are maybe 5 people in my life who have always been there. Who would drop everything to see me, if they can. And I'll drop everything to see them. And those same 5 or so people get it when life intervenes, and aren't upset that they don't hear from you in a while.
So I'm in this point in my life, where the people I see most often, are my partner's friends - because my partner attracts the kind of person who values friendship. Not that this is a bad thing, they're awesome people, and I'm getting to know new people each day. But I can't help but wonder why I can't seem to hang onto any of my own too well. Perhaps I'm just a shitty friend - not worth the time and energy. Now, I feel like I'm getting too old. Like I missed my chance. New people already have their close friends, their support networks; and while they'll happily welcome a new body to the ensemble, really, the show has already been cast for years. (See what I did there?)