It's been a long time since I've written, I know. It's been a long time for a lot of things. In these five or so minutes before I go down to meet Laura and study for our exam, I have a confession to make
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In some ways I feel like I'm in a similar situation. Being a good student, good girlfriend, good RA, good teacher, and good volunteer-- all take priority over social interactions.
And so I feel lonely--horribly so.
But unlike you, I often feel like there is no one here at UVA who cares about me any more, whereas not only do you have your boyfriend 2 minutes away, you also still have all your Hillel friends, or at least Jill and Laura Eve. I don't even live with people I can talk to and interact with because I have to be neutral and be there for them, not let them be there for me.
We all miss Annie a whole lot. I find it disheartening that she doesn't miss me half as much as I miss her. I'm always the one to pick up the phone to call her, or initiate an online convo with her. She loves New Orleans and her big sister so much she may just never leave.
And I don't miss her just for the sake of her--I feel like the LauraNandaJessicaAnnie has crumbled without the Annie aspect.
I was sitting in my car last night scared out of my wits and freaking out. I realized I had no one to call or whose room I could crash at. We are all so busy that we don't even have time for life's emergency breaks any more. Annie had time for people. I make an effort to do that too, and perhaps only my residents take advantage of that--but I realize that when I miss a lunch because I'm writing a paper, I'm not really demonstrating that I have time.
Yeah just ask to go dancing around a lake with scarves. We'll do it. But it won't be the same--not yet at least. I'm too stressed and down to enjoy it like I did my first year.
And so I feel lonely--horribly so.
But unlike you, I often feel like there is no one here at UVA who cares about me any more, whereas not only do you have your boyfriend 2 minutes away, you also still have all your Hillel friends, or at least Jill and Laura Eve. I don't even live with people I can talk to and interact with because I have to be neutral and be there for them, not let them be there for me.
We all miss Annie a whole lot. I find it disheartening that she doesn't miss me half as much as I miss her. I'm always the one to pick up the phone to call her, or initiate an online convo with her. She loves New Orleans and her big sister so much she may just never leave.
And I don't miss her just for the sake of her--I feel like the LauraNandaJessicaAnnie has crumbled without the Annie aspect.
I was sitting in my car last night scared out of my wits and freaking out. I realized I had no one to call or whose room I could crash at. We are all so busy that we don't even have time for life's emergency breaks any more. Annie had time for people. I make an effort to do that too, and perhaps only my residents take advantage of that--but I realize that when I miss a lunch because I'm writing a paper, I'm not really demonstrating that I have time.
Yeah just ask to go dancing around a lake with scarves. We'll do it. But it won't be the same--not yet at least. I'm too stressed and down to enjoy it like I did my first year.
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