(no subject)
So Jordie said to me last night, "Congratulations for surviving your first high holidays as a cantorial soloist!"
I was so flattered, I almost cried. Which would not have been unreasonable, as I cried at least three times yesterday, one of which was pretty awful and embarassing, as I was on the bimah - but I hope no one really noticed.
There are two interesting points to her comment - one is the word 'first' which indicates that there might be a repeat performance. I don't know how I feel about it - except to say that I really sort of hope that there will be. I mean, I think it really added to my high holidays to be leading the song. I think the idea that my prayers somehow were helping others to pray is absolutely beautiful. Unortunately it also kind of took away from the prayer experience to always be thinking about what came next, but I think with practice this wouldn't be as much of an issue - for instace, leading Shabbat is more and more feeling less like an errand or a performance and more like the prayer it should be - although admittedly it isn't quite there yet.
The second thing was that se called me a cantorial soloist - I think this is a bit of a stretch. Aii I did was sing a few songs. I did not really inspire. I was not knowledgeable. I was not someone who was very important to the service - beyond my job of organizing people. Not that I think I should have been more important - I felt pretty silly about sitting on the bimah in the first place - rather unqualified, rather pretensious. It was much better for me when Rebecca joined me up there for Yom Kippur. But I think it is a bit much to call me a cantorial soloist. Instead we'll call me a pretensious college student who thinks she can kind of sing and has the audacity to share this with others through prayer. Or something like that.
But in any case, I was very flattered.
High holiday services went very well. Having my parents here was beautiful - we had a home-like moment where I went over to their hotel room in my pj's with my knitting and watched television in bed with them. It was like going home, only without the drive. And I had a long conversation with Daniel A. that was both very interesting and sort of inspirational, about how to decide, or not to decide, what we want to be or do or become. I have decided not to decide yet. Wait another year or so. Be an English major. Do thinga I love. Then, decide which of these things is right for me as a career.
The services themselves were great, I think. Not quite Temple Shalom, but they were pretty great. There were some really awesome (in the true sense of the word) moments. And some realy not awesome ones - but what can you do?
Daniel's play was terrific. You should all see it!
I was so flattered, I almost cried. Which would not have been unreasonable, as I cried at least three times yesterday, one of which was pretty awful and embarassing, as I was on the bimah - but I hope no one really noticed.
There are two interesting points to her comment - one is the word 'first' which indicates that there might be a repeat performance. I don't know how I feel about it - except to say that I really sort of hope that there will be. I mean, I think it really added to my high holidays to be leading the song. I think the idea that my prayers somehow were helping others to pray is absolutely beautiful. Unortunately it also kind of took away from the prayer experience to always be thinking about what came next, but I think with practice this wouldn't be as much of an issue - for instace, leading Shabbat is more and more feeling less like an errand or a performance and more like the prayer it should be - although admittedly it isn't quite there yet.
The second thing was that se called me a cantorial soloist - I think this is a bit of a stretch. Aii I did was sing a few songs. I did not really inspire. I was not knowledgeable. I was not someone who was very important to the service - beyond my job of organizing people. Not that I think I should have been more important - I felt pretty silly about sitting on the bimah in the first place - rather unqualified, rather pretensious. It was much better for me when Rebecca joined me up there for Yom Kippur. But I think it is a bit much to call me a cantorial soloist. Instead we'll call me a pretensious college student who thinks she can kind of sing and has the audacity to share this with others through prayer. Or something like that.
But in any case, I was very flattered.
High holiday services went very well. Having my parents here was beautiful - we had a home-like moment where I went over to their hotel room in my pj's with my knitting and watched television in bed with them. It was like going home, only without the drive. And I had a long conversation with Daniel A. that was both very interesting and sort of inspirational, about how to decide, or not to decide, what we want to be or do or become. I have decided not to decide yet. Wait another year or so. Be an English major. Do thinga I love. Then, decide which of these things is right for me as a career.
The services themselves were great, I think. Not quite Temple Shalom, but they were pretty great. There were some really awesome (in the true sense of the word) moments. And some realy not awesome ones - but what can you do?
Daniel's play was terrific. You should all see it!