30 Day Video Game Meme Day 6 - HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE
So today's question on this 30 day video game meme asks me who I think the most annoying video game character is. Naturally I thought to the Zelda series, where there is certainly a quirky set of characters. Some of them quite memorable. Some of them very memorable for redefining aggravation. You may think I'm talking about little miss HEY LISTEN herself, but I would rather play a game where Link is flat-out sodomised by Navi for 10 hours than see this guy appear in another Zelda game.
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Okay. This guy right here. Tingle quite literally came close to ruining two Zelda games for me.
Just to emphasise this statement, I love Zelda games. I've completed nearly all of them to date (except for Spirit Tracks and those CD-I games that DO NOT COUNT) and some I've played so often I've done broken runs of them for fun. This includes a 3 heart run of Ocarina of Time Master Quest, a minimum item run of A Link to the Past and a co-op run of Twilight Princess where I controlled the Nun-chuk and a friend used the Wii-mote. (The last of which I highly recommend, it's like some kind of three-legged Zelda race)
Besides his own little spin offs (that you couldn't pay me to play despite positive reviews) he's appeared in all the Zelda games from Majora's Mask onwards, skipping Twilight Princess (thank Shigsy). I don't know how he became this twisted little mascot, it defies all reason. In most of these titles he's mostly noxious except for the rarest of rare occasions where he is slightly useful in a capacity that ANY OTHER NPC could replace him. However there are two key exceptions.
It figures that his first game would be a taste of what was to come, the back story is simply given that he's some random man-child who ran away from his home in the swamp to dress as a fairy and sell maps. This is one of those things I wish I could be kidding about, but you can actually blackmail his father into paying you fat sums of rupees by taking photographic evidence of his sad existence. If you think he serves any useful purpose beyond this, it's to ruin Majora's Mask. You see, Zelda games have a pretty solid map system, it's really kind of hard to get lost in them because of it. And what is free in every other Zelda game, Tingle holds hostage for money. Given your purse resets every time you start the game, entering any new area becomes a rupee grindfest. Yeah I know there's a bank, and there's a few spots where it's easy to grab a few hundred rupees. These weren't things I knew about until my second play. Getting lost in the overworld was so frustrating, and actually paying Tingle off moreso. Combined with the jacked up difficulty of the temples, my first play through of Majora's Mask was forgettable. For those who aren't aware Majora's Mask is probably the most ground-breaking, darkest, most challenging and above all, most rewarding Zelda games. And for the sake of this completely out of place comic relief with no redeeming feature, I very nearly dismissed it entirely.
But that had nothing on what happened next in Wind Waker. The problem with Wind Waker was that it was as good as, if not better than, every other Zelda game to date. Right up until Tingle flat out ruined it. Taking your boat and hitting the seas had the air of epic adventure, the cel-shaded graphics were sharp and emotional, the combat system quick and fluid. There was so much to like about this game, until you had to retrieve a piece of the Triforce. And by a piece of the Triforce I mean pieces of a piece of the Triforce. All nine of which required horrifically expensive maps be bought and translated by this thankless son of a bitch. Each time you visited his tower on his island you were reminded of just how rich he was getting off your hard work. The biggest problem is that this whole section of the game is so stretched out and so jarringly boring compared to the rest of the game, and the only thing that breaks up this endless treasure hunt was in fact, Tingle. This only served to make things that much more painful. Despite some brilliant set-pieces like the Underwater Hyrule, the Dark Fortress, Shark Island, and the best Ganon fight of the series, this whole section makes Wind Waker one of the weakest Zelda games made. And I blame Tingle.
Seriously. Fuck him. I hope I can feed him to a Moblin in the next game that piece of shit turns up in.
Okay. This guy right here. Tingle quite literally came close to ruining two Zelda games for me.
Just to emphasise this statement, I love Zelda games. I've completed nearly all of them to date (except for Spirit Tracks and those CD-I games that DO NOT COUNT) and some I've played so often I've done broken runs of them for fun. This includes a 3 heart run of Ocarina of Time Master Quest, a minimum item run of A Link to the Past and a co-op run of Twilight Princess where I controlled the Nun-chuk and a friend used the Wii-mote. (The last of which I highly recommend, it's like some kind of three-legged Zelda race)
Besides his own little spin offs (that you couldn't pay me to play despite positive reviews) he's appeared in all the Zelda games from Majora's Mask onwards, skipping Twilight Princess (thank Shigsy). I don't know how he became this twisted little mascot, it defies all reason. In most of these titles he's mostly noxious except for the rarest of rare occasions where he is slightly useful in a capacity that ANY OTHER NPC could replace him. However there are two key exceptions.
It figures that his first game would be a taste of what was to come, the back story is simply given that he's some random man-child who ran away from his home in the swamp to dress as a fairy and sell maps. This is one of those things I wish I could be kidding about, but you can actually blackmail his father into paying you fat sums of rupees by taking photographic evidence of his sad existence. If you think he serves any useful purpose beyond this, it's to ruin Majora's Mask. You see, Zelda games have a pretty solid map system, it's really kind of hard to get lost in them because of it. And what is free in every other Zelda game, Tingle holds hostage for money. Given your purse resets every time you start the game, entering any new area becomes a rupee grindfest. Yeah I know there's a bank, and there's a few spots where it's easy to grab a few hundred rupees. These weren't things I knew about until my second play. Getting lost in the overworld was so frustrating, and actually paying Tingle off moreso. Combined with the jacked up difficulty of the temples, my first play through of Majora's Mask was forgettable. For those who aren't aware Majora's Mask is probably the most ground-breaking, darkest, most challenging and above all, most rewarding Zelda games. And for the sake of this completely out of place comic relief with no redeeming feature, I very nearly dismissed it entirely.
But that had nothing on what happened next in Wind Waker. The problem with Wind Waker was that it was as good as, if not better than, every other Zelda game to date. Right up until Tingle flat out ruined it. Taking your boat and hitting the seas had the air of epic adventure, the cel-shaded graphics were sharp and emotional, the combat system quick and fluid. There was so much to like about this game, until you had to retrieve a piece of the Triforce. And by a piece of the Triforce I mean pieces of a piece of the Triforce. All nine of which required horrifically expensive maps be bought and translated by this thankless son of a bitch. Each time you visited his tower on his island you were reminded of just how rich he was getting off your hard work. The biggest problem is that this whole section of the game is so stretched out and so jarringly boring compared to the rest of the game, and the only thing that breaks up this endless treasure hunt was in fact, Tingle. This only served to make things that much more painful. Despite some brilliant set-pieces like the Underwater Hyrule, the Dark Fortress, Shark Island, and the best Ganon fight of the series, this whole section makes Wind Waker one of the weakest Zelda games made. And I blame Tingle.
Seriously. Fuck him. I hope I can feed him to a Moblin in the next game that piece of shit turns up in.