Why do I not feel like going to church anymore?
Somehow I haven't gone to church in more than a month - and haven't felt like I'm missing anything. My identity as a Unitarian Universalist is still important to me, but I am reminded of my father-in-law, who is a staunch UU without needing to go to church to reaffirm this fact. Or my own father, for that matter, who stopped going to church when I was a kid in favor of being out in nature, saying he could talk with god there as well or better.
Now here it is, Easter, and I was planning to go this Sunday at least, and bring Erik and Cecily with me. But Cecily has a cold, and Erik wants to stay home from church to take care of her, and I just have no motivation to go to church without them. Even though that's what I used to do all the time. I used to go to church for the sermons and to sing in the choir, and for the opportunity to make friends and be part of a community (though I always found it awkward and difficult to make small talk during the coffee hour). I haven't been to choir practice now in three months or more, so that's pretty much out.
I used to be disappointed that Erik wouldn't go to church with me more often, because I would see other couples sitting in the pews together, holding hands or leaning a head on each other's shoulder. But now it almost seems like, instead of me influencing Erik to attend church, he has been influencing me to not want or need to anymore. Not that he has ever actively tried to talk me out of it.
At any rate, I'm not going today. I have plenty of the usual work to do here at home - grading, lesson planning, entering grades in the computer. And I'd also like to be outside in the nice sunshine and go on a bike ride. Since Cecily is in fact pretty sick, I won't try to take her with me in the bike trailer. So it'll be just me, and Erik can take care of her at home, as he has already offered.
Now here it is, Easter, and I was planning to go this Sunday at least, and bring Erik and Cecily with me. But Cecily has a cold, and Erik wants to stay home from church to take care of her, and I just have no motivation to go to church without them. Even though that's what I used to do all the time. I used to go to church for the sermons and to sing in the choir, and for the opportunity to make friends and be part of a community (though I always found it awkward and difficult to make small talk during the coffee hour). I haven't been to choir practice now in three months or more, so that's pretty much out.
I used to be disappointed that Erik wouldn't go to church with me more often, because I would see other couples sitting in the pews together, holding hands or leaning a head on each other's shoulder. But now it almost seems like, instead of me influencing Erik to attend church, he has been influencing me to not want or need to anymore. Not that he has ever actively tried to talk me out of it.
At any rate, I'm not going today. I have plenty of the usual work to do here at home - grading, lesson planning, entering grades in the computer. And I'd also like to be outside in the nice sunshine and go on a bike ride. Since Cecily is in fact pretty sick, I won't try to take her with me in the bike trailer. So it'll be just me, and Erik can take care of her at home, as he has already offered.