I'm burned out...
In a matter of days somehow I have burned out. This past weekend I slept an awful lot and I suppose that should have been a sign that I was on the verge... Blah! Lasst week I was doing fine, at least I think? Now here I've been wasting time needed for school work on nothing at all in particular but analyzing the flecks on the wall I suppose... too much of that, too much sleep, too much time spent at work, not enough of anything else... who really knows, but it's fast approaching a week of nothing. I dig myself in to these holes essentially due to laziness. At least I'm good at something! Well, I'm not that down on myself. It was just a selfloathing thought. I'm good at lots of things, I know that I am, whether it be work or even school, I am typically good at them both. I just seem to have a problem following through on both of the two for an extended period of time. Every semester I do great at least half way through, then my A's turn into missed days and weeks. Rather than doing that again though - perhaps its time I start missing work, not school. I'm seriously considering quitting. Nearly 7 years in that place is a lot to just let go, but there is no future there anyway - and it's just getting worse - more responsibility, no more pay, no more assistance. This week I've handled two c/o chest pains, a full code DOA, two falls with Fx and lacerations and its only Wednesday night, I had off today! I'm a charge nurse without a degree? So that's Monday and Tuesday, but I work straight through until next Monday now, omens of bad things to come came Monday night I suppose when I slipped on that damn ice and sprained my wrist. Even besides all of that BS this week, there are the families, my unfit co-workers, the unappreciative bosses, and that bitch of a medical examiner I just wanted to kill over the phone last night... I'm just a burn-out. I won't complain or talk to anyone though because when I did today to my mother she just didn't care. She was simply sick of hearing it I suppose - maybe it was too early in the morning for her to hear of the sick and dying, and my grievances. I found that to be a bit hypocritical though, getting slammed for complaining about being busy, when that's all she does to me - vent. I've found myself today burnt out tired, canceling plans, avoiding conversations with those I love and just wanting to sleep. Perhaps I will, perhaps I won't - either way it looks like another night gone, another opportunity to do some work wasted.