Coming Out Letter
So a little more than a month ago I came out to basically everyone in my class at school (around 125 or so out of 180). Here's my letter:
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Dear Friends,
I’ve debated how I’d say this for quite some time now, when I’d say it, and to whom - and now I’m at the point where I’m just going to do it.
I have been struggling with something my entire life and have finally started addressing it. I am transsexual. My mind does not match my anatomy. Most people don’t have to deal with these discrepancies, but I do. This isn’t a feeling, a wish, or a choice - it is something hardwired into me, my gender identity, my innate sense of who I am. This will never go away, and as I’ve grown older it has only grown worse. It is not something that can be “talked out” or treated with psychoactive drugs and/or therapy (I speak from lengthy experience). My body and mind are simply a mismatch and I am pursuing the only known effective treatment: transition.
For the last two and a half months I have been taking female hormones and testosterone blockers. You might’ve noticed changes in me over that time. I’ve slimmed down, shown up at [my school] earlier in the morning, drank less, and felt better than ever before. Things are changing, for the better. I am still going to be pretty much the same person - just different, happier, and more open. I am not going away, I am growing into myself.
So when will this take place? It’s a gradual process so it will take several months, but I hope to complete my transition before we graduate. There is still a lot for me to do, and the hormones will take several months to really produce noticeable effects.
What is going to change? Wikipedia has a pretty comprehensive and accurate list of hormone replacement therapy effects here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hormone_replacement_therapy_%28male-to-female%29.
Who else knows? My family, my friends from home, my roommates, and now most of the class of 2012 (BCC’d in this email).
Why am I coming out now? Because I am tired of being one person when I talk to those who know and a completely different one when I’m at [my school]. The façade is too much for me to maintain any longer.
I know this is a big shock and a lot to take in. It took me 20 some years to really make peace with it and start what I have to do to be happy with myself, so I don’t expect it to be something you will immediately embrace. If you need some time and space to process this, I understand.
If you have any questions, even ones you might think are stupid, or want to talk, I’m more than willing to do so. I have nothing left to hide.
I’ve also CC’d [a trans counseler] from the [my school's] LGBTQI Center, who has graciously volunteered to answer questions you might have (which might be helpful if you don’t feel comfortable asking me just yet).
If you’ve read this far, thank you. I look forward to spending the next year together.
Best,
Dan
###
Dear Friends,
I’ve debated how I’d say this for quite some time now, when I’d say it, and to whom - and now I’m at the point where I’m just going to do it.
I have been struggling with something my entire life and have finally started addressing it. I am transsexual. My mind does not match my anatomy. Most people don’t have to deal with these discrepancies, but I do. This isn’t a feeling, a wish, or a choice - it is something hardwired into me, my gender identity, my innate sense of who I am. This will never go away, and as I’ve grown older it has only grown worse. It is not something that can be “talked out” or treated with psychoactive drugs and/or therapy (I speak from lengthy experience). My body and mind are simply a mismatch and I am pursuing the only known effective treatment: transition.
For the last two and a half months I have been taking female hormones and testosterone blockers. You might’ve noticed changes in me over that time. I’ve slimmed down, shown up at [my school] earlier in the morning, drank less, and felt better than ever before. Things are changing, for the better. I am still going to be pretty much the same person - just different, happier, and more open. I am not going away, I am growing into myself.
So when will this take place? It’s a gradual process so it will take several months, but I hope to complete my transition before we graduate. There is still a lot for me to do, and the hormones will take several months to really produce noticeable effects.
What is going to change? Wikipedia has a pretty comprehensive and accurate list of hormone replacement therapy effects here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hormone_replacement_therapy_%28male-to-female%29.
Who else knows? My family, my friends from home, my roommates, and now most of the class of 2012 (BCC’d in this email).
Why am I coming out now? Because I am tired of being one person when I talk to those who know and a completely different one when I’m at [my school]. The façade is too much for me to maintain any longer.
I know this is a big shock and a lot to take in. It took me 20 some years to really make peace with it and start what I have to do to be happy with myself, so I don’t expect it to be something you will immediately embrace. If you need some time and space to process this, I understand.
If you have any questions, even ones you might think are stupid, or want to talk, I’m more than willing to do so. I have nothing left to hide.
I’ve also CC’d [a trans counseler] from the [my school's] LGBTQI Center, who has graciously volunteered to answer questions you might have (which might be helpful if you don’t feel comfortable asking me just yet).
If you’ve read this far, thank you. I look forward to spending the next year together.
Best,
Dan