fuck gender dysphoria
fucking hate hate hate hate it.
GAH.
it makes me want to drink. and smoke weed. with unhealthy quantities/frequency/etc.
want is also a euphemism for 'consume' in this instance.
GAH. FUCK.
i don't really understand, i never experienced this before. why now? does it mean anything? or is just part of the acceptance cycle? it has been getting worse lately, as I approach graduate school (and my transition time frame). maybe it's that last little bit of internalized transphobia trying to talk me out of it.
it makes sense, considering the fact that there are places where it's not okay to be trans (or, to be more precise, it's not okay to be trans unless you meet their definition of trans) out there in the world.
FUCK FUCK FUCK. I hate how I still let other people define me even though I know better. How do I answer the question: Who am I? What defines me?
ARGH. FUCK YOU BRAINZ.
GAH.
it makes me want to drink. and smoke weed. with unhealthy quantities/frequency/etc.
want is also a euphemism for 'consume' in this instance.
GAH. FUCK.
i don't really understand, i never experienced this before. why now? does it mean anything? or is just part of the acceptance cycle? it has been getting worse lately, as I approach graduate school (and my transition time frame). maybe it's that last little bit of internalized transphobia trying to talk me out of it.
it makes sense, considering the fact that there are places where it's not okay to be trans (or, to be more precise, it's not okay to be trans unless you meet their definition of trans) out there in the world.
FUCK FUCK FUCK. I hate how I still let other people define me even though I know better. How do I answer the question: Who am I? What defines me?
ARGH. FUCK YOU BRAINZ.