cedar rapids, iowa | thursday | march 4
When he stepped out of the portal, it was raining. Things had only gone downhill from there. Of course, Alex didn't know what he'd expected. A happy trip home? A belated birthday party with hats and streamers? Something resembling sanity?
Yeah, he got none of those.
The house was quiet when he pushed through the door. That wasn't unusual, his mother got tired easily, slept a lot so Alex didn't pay it any heed. Just dropped his solitary bag by the door and wandered towards the kitchen, automatically looking for alcohol but only finding orange juice. It'd have to do for now.
Alex downed half the bottle without even closing the refrigerator door and was intent on finishing the other half when he caught sight of something dark in the backyard. The curtains in the kitchen, light green and partially closed, were covering a rain smeared window but Alex managed to catch sight of...something through all that.
Settling the container of orange juice on the counter, he wound his way over towards the back door, pulling it open. He didn't know what he'd expected to see. A dog? A piece of wood? Whatever he expected, it was anything but his mother, standing in the middle of the yard, looking lost and confused. She'd been out there awhile, Alex could tell that in the split second before he was flinging himself out the door, into the rain and over to her side.
"Ma?" Brushing water out of his eyes, Alex circled until he was in front of her, bending to catch her eyes, catch a flicker of recognition, catch something. "Ma?"
It was just a few moments, a few short breaths really, but it seemed like it took forever until his mother looked up at him and he finally saw that recognition in her eyes. Amazingly, she smiled, seemingly uncaring of the rain and their surroundings. "Alex. You came home."
"For a visit," he couldn't stop himself from saying and immediately regretted it when he saw the shift in his mother's eyes. He couldn't take it back now though. "Ma, what're you doing out here? It's raining. It's cold."
"I was..." She trailed off, voice flitting away on a gust of wind. She shook her head and didn't answer the question. Alex wondered if she was hiding something from him or she just didn't know. Either one was possible and either one was going to eat at him for many different reasons. "You came home. Happy birthday."
"Birthday was two days ago," he said, pursing his lips even while winding an arm around her and trying to steer her back towards the house. "Made it back as soon as I could."
It was a lie. An outright one but Alex knew his mother couldn't tell. He took advantage of that and he hated himself for it. It was done now, it'd be done again. Alex shook his head. "What're you doing out here?"
His mother gripped his forearm tightly, fingers digging into his wet sweater like her life depended on it. "Waiting for you." And she was sincere and warm and all it did was turn Alex's stomach, make him hate everything more. She stopped walking then, sliding one wet, cold hand onto his cheek, fingers brushing the stubble there. It was a shaky touch, a touch he didn't always let himself feel but he relented this time and kept his emotions in a vice. "I guess I lost track of time. I thought you'd be here sooner."
It was more than that, Alex knew, but he kept his mouth shut. He kept quiet while helping her back into the house, kept quiet while helping her change into warm clothes and kept quiet while tucking her under a blanket on the couch. She wanted to sing happy birthday, give him his gifts but he refused bluntly, watched her face fall and turned away from it.
"You need to rest," he said, already digging out the dogeared and worn paper in his wallet. "We can do that later."
"You'll still be here later?" There was that inextinguishable hope in her voice that made him want to run far away.
Instead, he forced a smile and said, "Yeah."
[i have like no canon to work with so i make it up! of course, canon might be coming in april so why not get jossed really good? nfi, nfb.]
Yeah, he got none of those.
The house was quiet when he pushed through the door. That wasn't unusual, his mother got tired easily, slept a lot so Alex didn't pay it any heed. Just dropped his solitary bag by the door and wandered towards the kitchen, automatically looking for alcohol but only finding orange juice. It'd have to do for now.
Alex downed half the bottle without even closing the refrigerator door and was intent on finishing the other half when he caught sight of something dark in the backyard. The curtains in the kitchen, light green and partially closed, were covering a rain smeared window but Alex managed to catch sight of...something through all that.
Settling the container of orange juice on the counter, he wound his way over towards the back door, pulling it open. He didn't know what he'd expected to see. A dog? A piece of wood? Whatever he expected, it was anything but his mother, standing in the middle of the yard, looking lost and confused. She'd been out there awhile, Alex could tell that in the split second before he was flinging himself out the door, into the rain and over to her side.
"Ma?" Brushing water out of his eyes, Alex circled until he was in front of her, bending to catch her eyes, catch a flicker of recognition, catch something. "Ma?"
It was just a few moments, a few short breaths really, but it seemed like it took forever until his mother looked up at him and he finally saw that recognition in her eyes. Amazingly, she smiled, seemingly uncaring of the rain and their surroundings. "Alex. You came home."
"For a visit," he couldn't stop himself from saying and immediately regretted it when he saw the shift in his mother's eyes. He couldn't take it back now though. "Ma, what're you doing out here? It's raining. It's cold."
"I was..." She trailed off, voice flitting away on a gust of wind. She shook her head and didn't answer the question. Alex wondered if she was hiding something from him or she just didn't know. Either one was possible and either one was going to eat at him for many different reasons. "You came home. Happy birthday."
"Birthday was two days ago," he said, pursing his lips even while winding an arm around her and trying to steer her back towards the house. "Made it back as soon as I could."
It was a lie. An outright one but Alex knew his mother couldn't tell. He took advantage of that and he hated himself for it. It was done now, it'd be done again. Alex shook his head. "What're you doing out here?"
His mother gripped his forearm tightly, fingers digging into his wet sweater like her life depended on it. "Waiting for you." And she was sincere and warm and all it did was turn Alex's stomach, make him hate everything more. She stopped walking then, sliding one wet, cold hand onto his cheek, fingers brushing the stubble there. It was a shaky touch, a touch he didn't always let himself feel but he relented this time and kept his emotions in a vice. "I guess I lost track of time. I thought you'd be here sooner."
It was more than that, Alex knew, but he kept his mouth shut. He kept quiet while helping her back into the house, kept quiet while helping her change into warm clothes and kept quiet while tucking her under a blanket on the couch. She wanted to sing happy birthday, give him his gifts but he refused bluntly, watched her face fall and turned away from it.
"You need to rest," he said, already digging out the dogeared and worn paper in his wallet. "We can do that later."
"You'll still be here later?" There was that inextinguishable hope in her voice that made him want to run far away.
Instead, he forced a smile and said, "Yeah."
[i have like no canon to work with so i make it up! of course, canon might be coming in april so why not get jossed really good? nfi, nfb.]