Maybe one day all of this will pay off....maybe...
Summer...its here. I have gone out or had people over every night since we have gotten out of school, and that is awesome. This is the way I wanted it. HOWEVER, while I was living my dream, suddenly the whole real life stuff decided to come barging back in. Deep down inside, I knew that the drama would never stay completely confined to the walls of CHS...that there would be some over the summer-but I intended to stay out of it. Sooooo I planned a whole big 3 day trip to New Hampshire for me and 5 friends...that being, Brannan, Jess, Ken, Becky and Rick. I literally did everything for this-packing lists, grocery lists, intinerary, directions, reservations, pricing, and all the work that comes with planning a camping trip. And I did it all in a weeks time...bc it was last minute. After spending my whole day Wed getting things ready, packing up, and all that stuff, leaving bright and early on Thurs morn-going to hampton beach for awhile (it was overcast), we finally get to the campsite at Salisbury State Beach, and who did basically all of the main unpacking??? oh yea, Katie. So I already felt like the Mom...now they did help a little. After completing set up, we went to ride some go-carts, and play mini golf, which i came in 2nd by one point. Went back to the site, and the 3 guys just went right to sleep after we ate. Me and Bec took showers, came back and sat around the fire, then fell asleep around 11. Got up Fri morn, early again, and headed to Canobie Lake Park for 11.5 hours...I was soooo sick, and i NEVER get sick. It just felt like no one cared that i was on the verge of passing out, that my face was ghost white and I could not stand up...I was so angry that after all I did for them, no one could take 2 mins to sit with me. grrrr. This morning, forget about it, I was still pissed but I wasnt letting it show until someone flipped out on me, making me feel even worse. So I hope that person is happy. One person, ONE person thanked me this morning for doing all the planning and what not...I could be mistaken, but I think one of the boys said thanks yesterday. I am sick of ungrateful people. But on the other side, I dont want them to think that I am asking for anything "special"- I just think that a thanks would be nice. My feelings, yes I have feelings... are not in the best of condition right now. I dont even know what to think. I want that happiness back in my life. Lately, even though I have been surrounded by so many friends, I have been feeling lonely-almost depressed. I think I need someone to cuddle with that is not just there for one night...and i have my eyes on that person
Off to eat something and then go to bed.
Kate