(no subject)
"Why did you have to move to America?" I've been asked this question so many times by so many people but rarely did anyone even wait to hear my answer. Well here it is. I wasn't happy with the way things were back home. Everything was just so comfortable, so convenient, so...boring. Don't get me wrong, i ENJOYED having a driver and a car, a yaya picking up after me, having allowance to spend, and living only a few minutes away from the entire Vera-Perez clan. It's just... I felt that my college life had already become routine and predictable before i even started it. Here's how I KNOW it would go: I'd go to school with my brother, hang out with some povedans, go out with my friends/family/cousins on weekends, and blah blah BLAH. Well i've already had 14 years of that. I felt that it was time for a change.
Actually the thing that bothers me the most is that I don't think I'll do as well if I had stayed in Ateneo. I'm not putting the school down.. I actually think very highly of it.. but it's just not for me. I mean, how can I excel in a place filled with "Anna Mae dela Cruz"es who have already been branded, "the best" and/or "the brightest" students? I'm not competing with them. I just dont think i'll be able to see my full potential because I'll always think, "What's the point right? They'll always be better anyway." Sure I could do better than i did in high school, but at the back of my mind i'll say, "Hanggang dyan ka lang."
America is a new start for me. I know it'll be hard. I know i'll be alone. But that's exactly it.. It's a time for me to find myself to see what i'm really made of. It's my chance to excel at something..at anything.. to prove to myself that i'm BETTER, brighter, and braver than i believe. As selfish as it may sound, i've wanted this SO bad for so long...and i just thought it was about time i did something good for myself.