I realize that most of the time when I decided to give help some complete stranger or so, were the times when I feel the absolute worst about myself which is conflicting, am I doing nice things so I can feel better about myself? I mean, I feel like doing these are just… a way to help myself rather than help other people - some twisted sense of self
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What you are describing is a very real scenario that a lot of people follow. It isn't bad or terrible and it doesn't make you a bad or terrible person. It also isn't sad. It's simply unhealthy.
Some people have trouble with their own sense of self-worth. There are a number of reasons why someone will struggle with this. Some people will become a "caretaker" of sorts to help fill them with a sense of worth or value. But that good feeling, doesn't last very long and they feel down again. For some of these people they start putting the needs of others before their own, constantly trying to take care of other people to keep that good feeling going. It's exhausting on a person.
If you believe this might describe you, what's important is unlike a lot of these people, you are starting to recognize it and question it. Because of that YOU can make a difference. You CAN do something about it. It might be very difficult, you might struggle at times, it might take a while and be a lot of work, but you CAN do it.
Once you work on your self-esteem, value, or self-worth. . .your kind gestures will feel more genuine to you. You'll be able to appreciate yourself and better accept appreciation from others.
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