Weeeeeeeeeh
I'm so depressed right now. UGH Jeremy came to visit me today. He got here around 11:30-ish this morning. We had fun, but at the same time, we fought on and off throughout the day. It was ridiculous. Lately, I have realized that all the times he has come to visit me, things would be fine until the time he would leave. We'd part on bad terms. It drives me insane! The reason why I'm so 'depressed' about it all is because I feel so paranoid that I will never be able to get his trust back. I get so scared, when it comes to telling him how I feel. Not because I'm afraid he'll throw it back in my face but because I'm afraid of what he will think of me. I don't know what to do right now. I KNOW that I love him. I've started to change a lot, but I haven't exactly shown that to him. I want to show him comfort, when I know that he's feeling edgy about something. However, somehow I just can't. I'm scared that he might not appreciate it or think that I'm just putting up a front to make him happy. That's not the case though. I could easily open up a new yahoo account and borrow my gf's webcam and do the same shit I did before, but I haven't. I could easily 'hook up' with people, who want to, but I don't because I'm trying to make an effort to make things work. I really, really want things to work out. I just hope that nothing changes it to the point that Jeremy does decide to leave me for good.